Prayer walks; and hodgepodge galore!

Hello Friends! I’m so glad to be back writing you all again!

I left you off at the prayer walk! It was AMAZING! Around 75 people came and we formed a circle around the front of the house, holding hands and prayed. It went past a Kumbya moment. Lol.

 It was powerful!

Do you ever have help from someone but you don’t quite know how to thank them? I’m living with people like that. My mom has been here helping, caring, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. running me to treatments and homeschooling the kiddos. She deserves so much more than some acknowledgement on a blog with a few readers. I’ve thanked her over and over since I’ve been healing from this recent surgery (my head port). has HURT! But oddly enough: treatment doesn’t. It’s just a small needle in my port and five minutes (with an hour long nap under a warm heated blanket.)

(I’m using talk to text because my eyes go crossed sometimes when I’m writing.)

By the way, as you’ve noticed, im sure:  I’ve never been a great speller or editor; Forgive the typos.
#shocker

So the treatments have been going good, really good. And then enter Covid. Where I have to do everything myself I can’t let mom or anybody to go with me. I’m then masked and asked a dozen questions, and my temp is taken. Then I’m shown where to go. (Anointed in sanitizer ....and they say “Little Debbies causes cancer” : I’ll take those, (YUMM)any day over the sanitizer/stench; It’s ok— 🤪)

I’d like to tell a few of them where to go, but I don’t think the Lord would approve. Wow, I’m in rare form today...I didn’t get my nappy in.  Big spoiled baby Erin knows how to soil them, but sometimes they just need to Foil Those Thoughts (throw them away)..............But when you’re going out, you go out with a bang. Or a light bulb change. (Perspectives/diaper change).

Masks are fun,  for Halloween that is. Once a YEAR—Not every day use. I grow weary of the ups and downs...but remain thankful for grace!
We live with pain every single day. Each one of us is caught up in our own cycle of dysfunction. That is the thing I heard most about this COVID-19. People seeking how they could transfer what Good we have learned, into our post-COVID life.

I have a few things that maybe I’ll share someday, but there are some things that are just for individual (me) use! *Smile
Then there are not so great Thing (also me) that make a better story to tell.

Well, that’s about all there is.

So, I’ll leave you with some super cute/funny pics and other moments of our life       
Maybe this is only hilarious to me, but Libbi came in While I was Sleeping and threw this paper at me. (As it hit my head,) she started running out of the room yelling “I’m never gonna get the papergirl job!!!  Bahahaha when asked further: she said “oh well, it was off of tv.”

This picture of myself, my sister Alison to my right side, and my mother behind the bench. I really wish we could get a shot where more family resemblance shows. 

 

This is proof that I have treatment! 🤗Feeling pretty excited as this is over half done with the infusions! 

Long story for another day: 

One day at a time....

So many of you know, have heard, have expressed, and have encouraged me through these past few weeks/months of my journey.

It is grim. Tight. Numb. Upsetting. Honestly, it’s exhausting. However the Lord promises HIS strength in our weakness and that’s the only thing we get to “boast” about.

Humbling. Gratefulness. Pure awe. Are also some of the words used to describe this time. He NEVER leaves us without. Over the years, I’ve tried to develop eyes to SEE Him working in, through, and around me.

If we CHOOSE to see the good/joy/peace then we will find it. It’s all about perspective.

My mom is still here being the rockstar she is. Where would we be without the people in our lives???

I’m telling you: your perspective CLEARS up and your insecurities FADE AWAY in light of these circumstances. I’m so mad at myself sometimes for wasting my time in things that don’t matter...but then I forget...and move on. 🤣😬

My days look normal—ish.

There are those three little letters that change the world. My world anyway. Ish...

My “Ish” looks like this: getting up at 3am to change myself, because (hello incontinence). And after that I go back to sleep only to wake up at 6:30 to begin to get the kids up and ready. Mrs V is our morning hero who takes the kiddos to school as she teaches there. Then when they leave I gather some laundry up and wash it. Not because I have to but because I get to. I’m trying to do things for myself for as long as I can because reality is hitting me hard that this will not always be. 😭 I grieve this.

Also, I am writing cards to my family for next year. As several of you’ve mentioned, I’m not expecting to die, but that IS A REALITY. I’m not “using my words” to speak death over anything or even call “into alignment that which the enemy would lay hold.” I too believe in Gods sovereignty and if that is the case—I can’t mess it up. I cannot over essential oil/out drink/out juice/out run/out lie all these natural cures that I have been given. I’m using them all—believe me. It’s a crap-scary thing face—let alone have a LONG LINE OF WELL WISHERS that have all the “cures.”

If I don’t need the cards...I won’t use them. If I don’t needs the videos I won’t use them. But I might be able to have some peace of mind for a time thinking about ways to help my family. I desire to see 40. I’m thirty 9. ( I like it written like that. 🥰)

One day at a time is all that is happening here. Literally.

Tonight friends from the community are hosting a prayer walk for me.  Please pray for their safety, etc. and for us to come together and pray. When we pray God hears. What He will do is up to Him. I am at peace with that...most of the time.

Doing it scared...

Life.

It is scary.

So I’m doing it scared.

Believe me when I tell you: I WOULD NOT WISH THIS ON ANYONE.

So we pray and hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. And somewhere in between, we will find a new normal. Ish. I love those three letters. They represent so much.

So for now...here are the three newest family members:

We have Jen...because of Jennifer Garner in Alias. (Blue) keep in mind, this was seconds after pulling it from an amazon package. 🤣🤣🤣 ($7 “splurge.”) *Edited to add that it was UPSIDE DOWN! 🙄🙄🙄. New Picture as “proof”.

Then we have Victoria , 

and the Chloe. 

I’m on the hunt for a redhead wig. Nothing bright, but definitely red. 👌👏🏻 

Breaker 1-9

Hello from the couch! 🤣 That seems to be my place of operations. #Headquarters. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

How are the lot of you??? I’ve had a CRAZY couple of weeks.  From finding out my cancer is back—to into my brain. 😬 We’ve done radiation, I have my final one tomorrow on my head....and then I’ll start the series of ten for my spine. I have to have these done or I’ll be paralyzed. 😬again—so fun.

So here are the facts. : 4-6 weeks with not treating....or 6 months with treatment. At this point everything is on the table. I’ve been given CBD oil; and healing creams; also, I’ve had very good success with Jesus! He’s my best friend!!! Besides Rachelle. That girl is amazing!!! She organizes her life, my life and the life of the business she’s employed with.

Wow. So humbling and contagious. Joy...unspeakable. I’m so very tired. I sleep all day and through the night. I’ve never felt so loved and cared for...totally blessed!

My family has been trickling in. Visiting here and there. The folks from church are in and out...providing meals,  and rides for the kids.

So, there is that. Always loved...always taken care of...😘🌈

Newness of “New”...

I recently read an article, by John Piper, about using New Years as a way to remember our days—sort of like a dress rehearsal, for our death.

Interesting.

Why would this be important?
Why should I think about my death? “...numbering our days...” “remember our days...”

I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I do know, when we do this: the Lord is PLEASED. And how do I know this,  You might ask??? Well there is a promise tucked in there that those of us who seek—will get a heart of wisdom. Wise. Wisdom. Above all: get wisdom.

Wise is the man who seeks the Lord, stays near the Lord, especially during these important times.

Do you ever wonder why in the world Christ doesn’t just come and make all things right?  Correct the mistakes; heal the sick; forgive the haters; and on and on this list could go Annihilate those who don’t believe...ok, that got a little dark...🤣.

Anyhow...my scans came back clear! I’m “stable” which is good to know something in my life is! 🤣
I’ll be having a brain MRI in two weeks to rule out some abnormal behaviors...😬. Other than that—if all comes back clear, I’ll continue on plan.

So now, I’m curled up on the couch...cuddled up tight with a blanket, pretending the howling winds are actually waves on a warm beach somewhere nice...with a cold beverage in my hand to refresh myself with. (no alcohol.)

With the new year comes new decisions, and watching all the promises go straight out the window...oddly I find it refreshing, and amusing. Just take ONE DAY AT A TIME. That is how we get anything done. And then, do the next right thing. (Thank you Anna from Frozen 2).

Best wishes this cold and windy January! 💖

“The most wonderful time” they said...

     It’s that time of year again, you know—Christmas season (as Thanksgiving FLEW right past). And the Flu-Influenza. Diarrhea. Throwing up. Yes, we have caught it all. At different times we would be able to fight it off. Not this time—it struck with the youngest not once—but twice. Because once was not enough...🙄 #eyeroll

       That brings me to the next point—yes there is a point. Libbi is learning to ride her bike with no trainers. Suffice it to say, you are spared the screams of terror, though she is fully padded, etc. you’re welcome! 🤷🏼‍♀️😘

     As I’m sure you are on the edge of your seat...basically I’m reading all these blogs, and felling oh so convicted to write. Share as I have DOZENS of ideas and stories to tell you all about. If I could just focus long enough to write them down.

     Libbi has been a pill lately—making me reconsider all my parenting advice and suggestions. I quit! 🤪
Cade has been a star-instigator-of his sister. #shocker
He is adjusting to his sister meeting her milestones before he did #latebloomer

   

(Can you even with this blast from the past picture????? He is SO SUPER DARLING!)

And here he is in his school play, again notice the hat...still have a penchant for them. Little less “cute” but hey—it was for the play. He stars as “Justin” the teenage son working on a project with his sister and mom. Here he’s pictured with his “dad” and “sister”. 

     We had Christmas programs at the kids school. One was the above pic with Cade and his drama/play. And then Libbi sang several songs with her classmates:

So there you have the last several weeks of busy-ness of the Shafer’s. 

No Christmas cards (again). 

Success...how do you measure?

Hello.

This blog is so frustratingly difficult to write at the moment. I’m not really sure why—just seems like there is a mental block of sorts...blocking my way. I’m stumped! Do you ever feel like you have so much to say, but so little a space I do!!! Or that you’d bore people to tears...being too much, or too little?  Where do I begin? What do I write about?

There’s always a starting place...so here is mine—beginning again, and again, and again. Over and over into a rhythm of thoughts that spur into action, that lead to redemption.

Redemption is such an incredible word—isn’t it? We want to KNOW that what we think, feel and especially how we experience life: will somehow be redeemed. Made new; brought to the forefront, and challenged. Spurring people forward: fall forward. Fail forward.

Failure is part of success. We learn. We grow, but how many times you get back up? That’s a redeeming story worth hearing and writing!

So here’s my suggestion for you...do it scared...fail if you have to—but fall (&fail) forward. You’ve got this! 

“The same boiling water that softens the potato hardens the egg. It’s what you’re made of. Not the circumstances.” – Unknown