Another year has gone by....reminds me of the Celine Dion song off her Christmas album.
How “funny” is it that this year: I’m at home, wrapped up, throwing up, and on the eve of my lung biopsy.
To catch you up quickly—July came, and with it my yearly trip to the dr. (Oncologist.)
While there, he said everything looked good but that my tumor markers were elevated. This led to more testing, several other scans, other drs, and now last week, was the final test to be done on my lungs to monitor spots they felt were “benign.”
In short—they’ve grown—not substantially, but enough that now they’re getting “excited.”
Coupled that with the news that my tumor marker went from 22, up to 84, and then 95....and stabilized there but this time—came back at 156.
Oh crap.
In the words of my Oncologist, “at least they’re not in the 1,000’s!” Yes, there’s that. Always that.
I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to sit back and reflect about just HOW MUCH I loved being in remission, etc. So now, on the eve of the unknown I’m not going to wow you with wit or wisdom.
I’m scared. Hoping and praying. And fully prepared for the “Even if.” Well as prepared as I can ever be. It is a delicate balance to hold hope and reality in both hands.
Especially when (before you know it), another year has gone by.
Redeeming the time...the best I know how.
