All in a days work.....

What a wonderful, refreshing, and relaxing (er- sort of....) time we had in Michigan. Seeing family and friends is always a favorite past-time. Ironically, very little time was actually spent with my siblings, but it was nice to see them and be together again.

The weekend activities were surrounded with things "to do" to prepare for the reception we went up there for. (Which by the way was beautiful) Mom will probably sleep for about a week. My camera died after my second shot. Argh!!! Oh well. You will have to take my word for it. Such is life. There will be pictures to share and post soon.

Speaking of pictures...Cade had school pictures yesterday. If you could have seen how he demonstrated the "smile" he was going to use for his photo's you would have understood why we had "smile practice" all the way to school. I was very loving of course, as I bribed guided him away from the teethless and struggling look AND away from the freakishly scary clown look. Needless to say, my "chocolate milk for the entire length of your milk card" came back to bite me as he informed me that pictures came after lunch, when he had an accident with the said milk, and had spilled it down the front of him. I hope they placed him in the back of the picture- for his height of course. Lesson learned: next time I will use money. ;)

I was recently asked what I did with all my "free time" now that Cade was in school and I was all by myself. Before I embarrassed myself with a loud laugh that would end in a snort, I decided to opt for writing out a day that isn't typical, by certainly isn't uncommon. Here goes:

Yesterday:
7:45am- In the car, driving to school (don't forget "smile practice" on the way)
8:10am- Purchasing the above "milk card"
8:30am- Meeting a nurse at my In-Laws for introductions
9:00am- Picking up my dear friend Rachelle to shop Sam's Club for the fall festival.
9:15am- Stopping by the church to pick up some $$$
9:30am- Dropping in at the Library to pick up my books on hold
10:00am- the shopping begins
12:30pm- break for lunch; 3 carts/flats down, 2 to go.
1:45pm- driving back and unloading the truck
3:00pm- dropped Rachelle off; on my way to get Cade from school
3:45pm- On our way to volunteer at Meet The Need (Always a great time!)
5:00pm- Let Cade off at the church to eat Pizza, grabbing a slice myself on the way out.
5:30pm- Delivering Shelva's (mother-in-law) things to her I picked up for her at Sam's; putting them away and getting Dave (father-in-law) put to bed.....he was without his nap, thus  he was VERY sleepy.
7:00pm- Back to church (to Decorate for fall, and just update things), with Joy C.
11:05pm- Home sweet Home......

Note: the unmarked times were for DRIVING.

 I think I went everywhere- twice, yesterday. I hadn't seen my home until 11:00ish last night, since leaving for school in the morning. The sad hilarious part? I don't get paid! My job description changes- daily. You could add in other church related or school related and even friend related things. Laundry, groceries, cleaning, cooking, any day could end up just like yesterday with out advanced notice and certainly no overtime. Paid vacations, holiday's and sick days are over-rated....But I love it. No where else could I find a more satisfying or rewarding job than what I get to do everyday......all in a days work.

There is no place like it....

We are so excited to be going to Michigan!

Various weekends in the past year we have tried to escape from responsibilites or treatments, you name it, and it just hasn't happened. The same was for this time, only we were able to say "no" loud enough, have no more treatments to go to long enough, and to finally get the time off of work to go- and I can't wait.

Eric and Kerri have a wedding reception we will be going to. There will be fun, family, fellowship, friends, and food...all topped off with "THE FAIR." It has been years since I have been to the fair that I grew up going to. We showed animals and practically lived at the place for the whole week and then some for clean up. Now, going as an alumni is even better. NO chores, just fun! =)

I always find it interesting. In my mind, home freezes and is exactly how it used to be when I visited last year. Only that is in my mind, so it is something of an overload coming back with everything and everyone different. There is so much to take in and adjust to. It is awesome, yet almost sad at the same time. Things change, the town grows, people move on or have grown up or crossed over...all of it is wonderful; just different. I wouldn't have it any other way, though.

Change is about the only constant in life, but I am coming to embrace that as well. Things certainly don't stay the same for long, especially when you move away and then come back. It is SOOO incredibly difficult to try to see everyone that you spent a lifetime getting to know in a single trip, sometimes multiple trips. I unavoidably always hurt someones feelings for not stopping in for a chat, but honestly, I love each and every one and whether I see them or not, that doesn't change. We try to stretch our trip as long as we can, to see as many people as we can, and this time we are able to see almost everyone in one shot! The reception and fair are a great thing! =) We are thrilled and so excited to spend this time with family. Obviously my time will be taken up with helping mom and seeing all my siblings again, but to catch up with wonderful friends and family- oh, I am so thankful for this gift. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

After this past year I have realized something. With time marching on, people growing up, change always constant.....life is precious. Family is so dear. Whether you have family or not, begin investing into others' lives enough that you begin to surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you (and vice versa) and begin filling that void. Life is too short to be anything shy of who you were meant to be. No pretends, and we don't have "do overs."  I am realizing I don't want to hold onto baggage of unforgiveness, hurts, anger, or anything negative. As simple minded as this may sound, this world has enough negative that we have to process and work against us, that I don't need to add more.

 As I mentioned before, this cancer has changed more than just me. We (as friends, relatives) see things differently now. We appreciate each other more. We try just that much harder to make more of an effort to keep in touch. Phone calls, letters, visits, it doesn't matter, any form will do. With life we have to take what we get. It is too short to try to please everyone and to do everything. Learning to live life with no regrets is getting simpler by the day. Why? Because whether your life was good or bad, happy (or sad), we all had our beginnings from somewhere. That will never change, only we will by the choices we make in the everyday moments of life. We have the choice to be bitter, broken, or better because of it. The choice is ours. So, wherever you make your home, recognize that where you are and what you are doing started with one choice, one thought, one decision. Some choices don't come easily, but must be made at one point or another. The friends you have (good or bad) are made or unmade with one decision. The family we have (like it or not) is all the family we will have. The past we have lived (good or bad) is the only past we get.

TAKE EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE

by Max Lucado

Today’s thoughts are tomorrow’s actions.
Today’s jealousy is tomorrow’s temper tantrum.
Today’s bigotry is tomorrow’s hate crime.
Today’s anger is tomorrow’s abuse.
Today’s lust is tomorrow’s adultery.
Today’s greed is tomorrow’s embezzlement.
Today’s guilt is tomorrow’s fear.

Could that be why Paul writes, “Love … keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Cor. 13:5 NIV)?

Some folks don’t know we have an option.

Paul says we do: “We capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5).

Do you hear some battlefield jargon in that passage—“capture every thought,” “make it give up” and “obey Christ”? You get the impression that we are the soldiers and the thoughts are the enemies.

It was for Jesus. Remember the thoughts that came his way courtesy of the mouth of Peter? Jesus had just prophesied his death, burial, and resurrection, but Peter couldn’t bear the thought of it. “Peter took Jesus aside and told him not to talk like that.… Jesus said to Peter, ‘Go away from me, Satan! You are not helping me! You don’t care about the things of God, but only about the things people think are important’” (Matt. 16:22–23).
See the decisiveness of Jesus?

What if you did that? What if you took every thought captive? What if you took the counsel of Solomon: “Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life” (Prov. 4:23).

You are not a victim of your thoughts. You have a vote. You have a voice. You can exercise thought prevention. You can also exercise thought permission.

Change the thoughts, and you change the person. If today’s thoughts are tomorrow’s actions, what happens when we fill our minds with thoughts of God’s love? Will standing beneath the downpour of his grace change the way we feel about others?

Paul says absolutely! It’s not enough to keep the bad stuff out. We’ve got to let the good stuff in. It’s not enough to keep no list of wrongs. We have to cultivate a list of blessings. The same verb Paul uses for keeps in the phrase “keeps no list of wrongs” is used for think in Philippians 4:8: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (RSV). Thinking conveys the idea of pondering—studying and focusing, allowing what is viewed to have an impact on us.

Rather than store up the sour, store up the sweet.

The grass is NEVER greener on the other side- it just looks that way. Refuse to be a victim of your circumstances and be a victor over them. God's glory never looks brighter than when a single person persues with passion and reckless abandon, the freedom found only in Christ. It began with a choice, and He chose us. In the safety of His forgiveness and love, there's no place like it......

Cravings.......

I have been going through the study "Made To Crave" and I  like love it. I wanted to share some thoughts about what I read and heard tonight that really captured my interest.

Obviously we focus on everything and anything we cannot control and berate ourselves over and over about these very things.  Most people think- "big deal" as they sarcastically move past one persons struggles on to something more "worth their time", or "real" to them. Women are notorious for doing this. I have even heard of women who cannot befriend people who are smaller than they are w/o it destroying their relationship.(Just look at the tabloids!) You can mess with pretty much any subject with girls, but don't you dare go there with the "weight issues." I know, many of you are going into denial just like I did when I started reading this book. What was amazing was it wasn't the weight that I (we) was so self conscious of...if we all were honest, and if we opened our hearts door, what would we find? Each person I am sure would discover something different. We were each made unique and perfect. What I am finding out is this: we are more than just what we weigh. This truth, however, does not allow us to degrade ourselves or others verbally, mentally, nor does it mean we can over- indulge with food when we think no one is looking.

In her book, Lysa writes about how we are overweight physically, but underweight spiritually. We deceive ourselves into thinking that if we could just be skinnier that that would be a "fix all." (Personally, I have yet to meet a woman who felt good about themselves BEFORE the weight loss, and was just as happy AFTER. Not "more" happy, but just as happy. ) Could it be that we are missing something?

Obviously this book is going to be talking about food if it has the word "crave" in the title. What is so interesting is this: IT IS ALL OVER IN THE BIBLE as well. Take for example the truth she (Lysa) brings out of the Samaritan Woman's story at the well. Obviously we have heard this over and over; and for those of us who say we "know" this story...well hang on...

(Take me for example....I have heard it so many times and knew it SOOO well *sarcasm* that I was looking for the story in Matthew, when in fact it is in John- Don't judge me....I was just "helping" you guys find it! =) *Smile*

Start reading at about verse 34 of Chapter 4. "My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work. Do you not say, 'Four months more and then the harvest' ? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest." (end at vs. 35)

Right in the middle of saving this woman, after telling her of all her sins- is it chance that all of the sudden Jesus switches subjects and starts talking about food? NO- He is telling us today- Not to be so consumed with food because we will miss the harvest and people lets OPEN OUR EYES: if we miss the harvest then we are destroying our ministry, correction: HIS MINISTRY. Obviously he knew this would be a problem for more than just a couple of people.

Our ministry here on this earth is to be about God's business.

We are called to maintain the temple (our bodies). If we are overweight, that is just a symptom of the problem. The real problem is- we are misplacing our cravings, putting them into food (or insert one of the many things) and not God. Before you begin to make resolutions you cannot keep, (me either) let me share with you a freeing truth that pulls this all together:
 Our success, one day, will be measured by the peace we feel when we step on the scale and not by the number that is reflected.

Jesus speaks often of peace, but it amazes me that for now- 2011- the message is still very clear: When we focus on food we miss the harvest- winning people to the Lord. Peace is the foundation for us to begin again on. Our do overs.

We can only accomplish these things by being determined to allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us.

To "CRAVE" means to "Indulge: To take unrestrained pleasure in something."  There should be a red flag over the word "UNRESTRAINED." Why? We have all the how to's in every store and check out line, now it is time to find our "want to's." We have to "want to" know God more than anything else.

The Bible speaks of a people without a vision- they perish!
Desperation Breeds Defeat. Desperation is a huge crack in our foundation. If we are in a desperate situation what do we do? We find help. Enter the King of Kings who wrote a love story for you and I and guess what? He left a written message just for you. What does it bring to you when you are determined to read it and follow his loving advice? Love, Joy, PEACE, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and SELF CONTROL.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE what Lysa is sharing all thru her book. It continually places your focus on where it should be; on Jesus.  If you have a chance- get the book. Remembering that we are all Jesus girls and guys, places value on our lives that the world does not. I promise- it is uncomfortable but we can do it! We are worth it. It takes a real man or woman to come face to face and courageously fight. He (Jesus) loves us too much to leave us where we are at. Skinny or not so skinny, we all have cravings.

Is it any wonder that we have a problem with food in this country, when the original sin began with a CRAVING over something that Adam and Eve were told they could not have.... a shiny red Apple?

Romans14:9-20a- "Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destory the work of God for the sake of food."

The awesome part of the story? Ironically, we find out that we were ALL made to crave.....but to crave God- nothing else. It is time to fill in the blank of what it is that is behind our heart's door and allow Jesus to come in and get to work. I know I need to stop bouncing from feeling deprived of ______ or feeling guilty for _____. I have to take responsibility for those things and pre-determine that I am going to keep my eyes open- to see where I am going (duh) and to see myself for who I am: a Jesus Girl about HIS business.....

Now it is time to work on those cravings.....

Remission.......

From his lips to my ears....Dr. H told me today that I am in REMISSION!

Read this last night and thought it was so fitting:
"For You will light my lamp; The LORD my God will enlighten my darkness. For by You I can run against a troop, By my God I can leap over a wall. As for God, His way is perfect; The word of the LORD is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him. For who is God, except the Lord? And who is a rock except our God?" Ps. 18:28-31

 All glory to You, LORD-Healer...Precious Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.

A quip from Cade:

"Mom, you are totally going to have to wet my hair down a little better before school....I was the only Kindergartner who had hair like their moms! Talk about embarrassing!"

He keeps me laughing....and flying strong!

Who would have thought?

Many people have asked me about things I will do differently, or do without since I have had Cancer. Interestingly enough, we don't think about these things like we should, until someone else or yourself becomes aware of cancer in any form. Sadly we become "experts" b/c we have to, not for the pure joy of it.

Before I get into the eating thing- let me just say that I am a little bitter over the fact that I now have to buy Volumizing Hair Spray, Mousse, Gel, whatever. I miss my "big" hair that had to be tamed with products just to look normal. Now I have to add "fillers" just to have a hair style. If I didn't- well lets just not even go there. I have a lot of  hair, but it is very fine. Think about baby's hair, and you pretty much have mine. How in the world do you work with soft hair?????

On to the food subject......

I am now persuing an "almost" Soy Free Diet. Now before people start thinking I am boycotting the wonderful little bean, I want to throw a disclaimer out.....I am not against SOY- Just against taking it in for MYSELF.

Few people realize that women (or men) with hormone fed cancers (i.e. Estrogen Receptors, etc- like mine) can be fed by soy AND meats, milks, cheeses and any other product with growth hormone in them. Soy contains estrogen, and for years people have wondered and argued over the effects of growth hormone on the human body.

With the above knowledge, I have started researching soy-free foods and let me tell you....the results were SHOCKING to say the least. Compiled below is a short list of foods, etc that contain soy in some form or another, but is not limited to the below... NOTE: this is not for every brand so check your labels.....

-Herbal teas
-Ketchup
-mustard
-Salad Dressings
-Bread
-Pancake mix
-Flours (no, not just Soy Flour, either =)
-Beverages
-Cereals
-Protein Bars, Protein shake mix/Drinks
-Coffee Creamers
-Pudding mix
-Pie fillings
-Peanut Butter
-Jelly
-Sour cream, butter, milk- ck the label
-Cake Mix
-Brownie Mix
-Sugar Free Items
-Jello
-Cookies, individually wrapped cakes, etc.
-Cheese, that has been shredded and then rolled in some kind of flour to keep it from sticking together (I have always wondered how they do that!)

There was multiple other products, like hair products, that also contained soy. Surprised? So was I! These are some easy, everyday things that for the most part people would have never thought that they would have that ingredient.

PLEASE understand that I am not suggesting we all boycott soy....just be aware. Studies have shown asian women who consume soy have a very small incident of hormone related cancers. However, when they compare the diets between the two countries, the US has by far taken the lead in putting soy into everything. Yes, it is a very good thing- in moderation. Everything is.

In todays market, they will package things that say things like "0 Trans Fats," "Soy Free," etc, but they actually contain these things, yet PER SERVING these items don't meet the requirements to list it as a main ingredient therefore rendering it "free" of the above titles. Interestingly enough, however, it MUST say under the Allergy Alert: "Contains Wheat, Soy, Peanuts, etc." That is precisely where I would look, along with the other ingredients to see if it contains anything. This is usually in bold print.

The verdict is still out on whether all soy products have the same effect on men and women, but regardless....too much of a good thing, is still a bad thing. Everything in moderation, right? So when I am reading that multiple items that I may consume in a given meal all contain a "little" of this or that, it sets up a "red flag" for me. A little plus a little = a LOT over time. Added to the fact that my Oncologist recommends a low soy- soy free/ growth hormone free diet, no caffeine, .....it just makes me a little nervous to be careless about what goes into my body. If a cancer Dr. is waving you away from certain products, it should cause you to stop and at least think about it for a minute.

The up side of all of this, things that I CAN have include:
-Fresh, canned, or frozen Veggies
-Fresh, canned, or frozen Fruit
-Homemade breads or "soy Free" =)
-Milk, dairy  (*did you know that Aldi carries "No Growth Hormone" milk and dairy? Along with Shatto)
-And obviously ALL of the above "list" that are w/o Soy.

Once again, I am NOT against soy. I used to love it. Still do. Now I simply can't have it all the time anymore. I am still going to eat and enjoy food, but more carefully. Why am I writing about this? Well, besides the fact that so many people have asked me about it, I thought it would be good to put the word out. Before now, I wouldn't have given it another thought. Also, they (meaning research analyst) cannot determine if these products "cause" cancer or if they simply "feed" them. Since there is no clear cut evidence, simply be aware. Thus my "almost" Soy Free.

Yes, I am still going to use any and all hair products containing soy...duh! =) That's a no brainer! Living in the south has rubbed off on me some....hair is a "BIG DEAL."

Believe me, the world would be a lot better off if we didn't have Cancer in it. I am NOT going AWOL...just simply trying to follow what the Dr. ordered and coming up extremely surprised that even my morning tea needs to be considered before drinking...who would have thought?

Rain, Rain, and more rain....

At least that is what the weatherman says is in store for us today.
I LOVE rainy days.

There is still NO news from the Dr. about my re-staging tests that were done on Monday. I have an appointment this week with my Oncologist. Thursday, I believe. I also have to go have my eyes checked...it NEVER ends with Dr.'s appointments!!! The funny thing is, is I was supposed to have an eye exam done before Chemo and then one done about now.....oh, well. I had other things on my mind! =) Thankful for great insurance and also for the Dr.'s being there themselves!

What have we been up to this week?

-Cade found a baby mouse in the garage.....gross! He has been riding his bike more and his dad is working on getting the little four wheeler ready for him to ride.

-Aaron painted the garage and we are going to finish painting the trim around the house this weekend. He also pulled a paddle boat out of the pond this week, repaired it and is cleaning it up to take for a spin around our heart shaped pond. (I will post a picture of it soon...I promise.)

-I did some more landscaping this weekend around front of the house. My motto is slow and steady wins the race! Laundry, and cleaning were also on the agenda. When I went out for my walk today I found a $20 bill. How awesome is that? I figured that the Lord was rewarding me for my diligence. Again....slow and steady...

As you can see, not doing too much. Just this and that....now you can see why I love Rainy days....to just sit and read a book, along with getting some  indoor things done.
Have a wonderful, awesome day today.