"The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there...."
Those are the beloved words of old that are repeated and repeated and repeated again and again by this cute little Christmas Bear we have at our house. This little bear was given to us by dear, sweet grandma, (who even mentioned how annoying it was to be played repeatedly!) She gave it to Cade at THANKSGIVING. Enough said. Now, each morning upon rising, Cade hits the play button and away the little bear speaks. This morning, however, it was another of his favorite sayings.
Cade woke up saying in his usual enthusiasm......"the day has almost come, it is almost here!!!!"
I love the gusto with which he says and does things. Don't you? He cracks me up! I had to ask him to wait until 8am to decorate cookies. Mommy just isn't ready to go quite as early as he is.
We have made several batches of cut out cookies and we are getting ready to decorate them. The mint truffles are ready to be dipped and frozen. I LOVE all of the fun and preparation that goes into this holiday, but I love what it is about even more!
I hope that today finds your house full of the joy and the hope of Christmas, that is found at ours. May your New Year be filled with the goodness of God in the Land of the Living. May the Lord bless you and yours richly as you seek Him in all you do and learn to love Him more.
On the eve of Christmas Eve, may you be filled with the wonder of Christmas...Emmanuel- God is with us.
Always.
His day.....is almost here.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Take 2
I am having a "take 2" kind of day. Do you ever have those? You wish you could "do over" but you are left with a "try again". So I am.
Today was Cade's Christmas party at school. It is so much fun to work on their little crafts, hand out the snacks and sort of get to stand on the sidelines and watch the kids interact. I just want to give a little shout out to all teachers: you all are saints and I could NEVER do your job. Your patience and your persistance with the kids is amazing and the fact that you come back year after year...well you earn an award in my book! I was ready for a break, nap or something about the 6th time I got the little sticky jewel things for the foam Christmas trees stuck in my fake manicured nails; then there was the attitudes that made me want to write a naughty/nice tattle-tale letter to Santa.
As I was cutting Aaron's hair he was asking about my shopping experience after the party. I wish I could make this stuff up.
While at Walmart I was patiently waiting for an elderly gentleman to walk out the doors. Apparently he thought I was following a little close because he turns around and hocks a wad of "disgustingness" right at my feet. I stood still in disbelief causing a back up, all the while deciding how to navigate around "it". Let me just say...super gross.
Driving from Cade's school to the city, I passed a minivan who was in the other lane. About a mile down the road, as he is passing me, he honks his horn and (I am NOT kidding) sticks his tongue out at me, waves at me and then cuts me off. Seriously? Is he five years old?
This one topped it off.....While at Famous Footwear, I was at the register with my purchases when this older woman walks up and swats my behind and gives me a pinch, then apparently had a "coming to her senses" moment and realized that I wasn't "sweetie" (hopefully her daughter), but some innocent woman she just violated. ???? Not sure about that one....I don't remember my own mom doing that except with the yardstick, standing in line with my siblings because we all usually had it coming, but in a store and being VERY familiar, well lets just say things were a little "awkward".
It was time for me to take my "behind back to the beehive". So home we went.
I am in the middle of a Bible Study called "Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted." Appropriate, I thought. Life is full of them: navigating around spit balls, Someone sticking their tongue out at me, or a good "pinch". Either way they are all interruptions and depending on how I handle them...well, that determines my own outcome.
The author of the study said this, "If you find yourself balking at God's instructions in your life, it is an indication of the importance you place on God and His will." Ouch.
Navigating through this world of distractions and interruptions puts me in a focused and humble place. The above question from the author is like shining a spotlight on my hearts motives and my wants/desires. How we react in each and every situation whether it be the store, getting pinched, or through things like cancer is often very telling.
I focused in on this last little story from the shoe store:
I had just sat down to try on shoes, while Cade jumped on and off the couch. There was a woman trying on some shoes beside us when Cade said, "mom, you have the same shoes at home!" She asked me how I liked them. She was getting a pair to walk around Disney World and was looking forward to the distraction it provided after experiencing some heartache, and while we were talking Cade says, "My mom had cccaannnnccceeerrr" very loud, as if she couldn't hear. I certainly wasn't going to share my life story with a stranger, but I did admit it was true. I wanted to encourage her in some way. Not knowing what to say, I simply told her that I hoped she had a wonderful time and to enjoy what she had in front of her. I mentioned that if I had learned anything this year, it was to not dwell on what I didn't have, or what I wanted, but what I DID have right in front of me. It was/is a precious gift.
Don't be discouraged when you/we find ourselves falling short next to the Word of God. Let it be a reminder that God is not only a God who heals and restores, but is the author of do-overs and He gives us chance after chance for the "Take 2" moments.
Don't quit, just....take 2. It's Gods gift that keeps on giving.
Today was Cade's Christmas party at school. It is so much fun to work on their little crafts, hand out the snacks and sort of get to stand on the sidelines and watch the kids interact. I just want to give a little shout out to all teachers: you all are saints and I could NEVER do your job. Your patience and your persistance with the kids is amazing and the fact that you come back year after year...well you earn an award in my book! I was ready for a break, nap or something about the 6th time I got the little sticky jewel things for the foam Christmas trees stuck in my fake manicured nails; then there was the attitudes that made me want to write a naughty/nice tattle-tale letter to Santa.
As I was cutting Aaron's hair he was asking about my shopping experience after the party. I wish I could make this stuff up.
While at Walmart I was patiently waiting for an elderly gentleman to walk out the doors. Apparently he thought I was following a little close because he turns around and hocks a wad of "disgustingness" right at my feet. I stood still in disbelief causing a back up, all the while deciding how to navigate around "it". Let me just say...super gross.
Driving from Cade's school to the city, I passed a minivan who was in the other lane. About a mile down the road, as he is passing me, he honks his horn and (I am NOT kidding) sticks his tongue out at me, waves at me and then cuts me off. Seriously? Is he five years old?
This one topped it off.....While at Famous Footwear, I was at the register with my purchases when this older woman walks up and swats my behind and gives me a pinch, then apparently had a "coming to her senses" moment and realized that I wasn't "sweetie" (hopefully her daughter), but some innocent woman she just violated. ???? Not sure about that one....I don't remember my own mom doing that except with the yardstick, standing in line with my siblings because we all usually had it coming, but in a store and being VERY familiar, well lets just say things were a little "awkward".
It was time for me to take my "behind back to the beehive". So home we went.
I am in the middle of a Bible Study called "Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted." Appropriate, I thought. Life is full of them: navigating around spit balls, Someone sticking their tongue out at me, or a good "pinch". Either way they are all interruptions and depending on how I handle them...well, that determines my own outcome.
The author of the study said this, "If you find yourself balking at God's instructions in your life, it is an indication of the importance you place on God and His will." Ouch.
Navigating through this world of distractions and interruptions puts me in a focused and humble place. The above question from the author is like shining a spotlight on my hearts motives and my wants/desires. How we react in each and every situation whether it be the store, getting pinched, or through things like cancer is often very telling.
I focused in on this last little story from the shoe store:
I had just sat down to try on shoes, while Cade jumped on and off the couch. There was a woman trying on some shoes beside us when Cade said, "mom, you have the same shoes at home!" She asked me how I liked them. She was getting a pair to walk around Disney World and was looking forward to the distraction it provided after experiencing some heartache, and while we were talking Cade says, "My mom had cccaannnnccceeerrr" very loud, as if she couldn't hear. I certainly wasn't going to share my life story with a stranger, but I did admit it was true. I wanted to encourage her in some way. Not knowing what to say, I simply told her that I hoped she had a wonderful time and to enjoy what she had in front of her. I mentioned that if I had learned anything this year, it was to not dwell on what I didn't have, or what I wanted, but what I DID have right in front of me. It was/is a precious gift.
Don't be discouraged when you/we find ourselves falling short next to the Word of God. Let it be a reminder that God is not only a God who heals and restores, but is the author of do-overs and He gives us chance after chance for the "Take 2" moments.
Don't quit, just....take 2. It's Gods gift that keeps on giving.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Guilt....
Good morning!
We are so blessed, aren't we? We woke up this morning, and today is a new day full of mercy and blessings. I stand continuallly amazed when I think of those things. And so often I am guilty of thinking that those things and His promises aren't enough.
I am continuing with my writing project. I am working on the 12th chapter and it is about Guilt. Guilt comes in all shapes and sizes. I was namely going to point out several aspects of it from a cancer patient's side....when the following story had me writing out some more thoughts on the very subject.
As you know, Aaron's father (David) has varying medical issues that require 100% care. Over the 5 years that he has been home, we have had nurse after nurse, after nurse come into the home and work/care for David. Until the last two (Syndee and Jana) we were about out of hope that there was truly honest, and hard working individuals out there who could do this job.
That being said, I was shopping in town and ran in to a woman we will name "Smiles". She worked for us for some time and we all became quite settled with the routine that we had developed. After a couple of months she began displaying some behavior that is less than stellar, but being in the situation we were, we felt limited and loathed letting her go.Me We would have a lot of work to do, and would need help for a time until a suitable person could fill the position. Don't get me wrong...I love helping out, but during this time we were doing foster care, and Cade himself was only 3. Long story short, we let her go to find other opportunities, and supplied her with compensation.
When she saw me, she immediately tried to get away as fast as she could. I stopped and spoke to her saying "hello" and "It is nice to see you again. How have you been?" Thinking that since it has been several years, she may not recognize me, and so forth....I said, "Oh! Do you remember me? I am so and so....." before I could finish speaking, "Smiles" said "Oh yes I do! Come on (to the person she was with), lets get away from HER!"
Some relationships have a lot of water under the bridge. This one in particular was a "toxic" relationship that ended well, or so we thought. I was stunned that she responded so harshly. I was embarrassed that she reacted like that, in the store no less, when she was in NO position to be acting like that. The more I thought about it, the madder I became. "How dare she....", "I should have said.....", were among the thoughts coursing through my mind. Then I stopped, repented and immediately felt guilty. Why? I probably would have been within my "rights" to react like she did, but I also have Jesus in me and everything within screamed "STOP! Turn the other cheek....Love her....She needs Jesus."
But, even that last statement left me feelings of guilt, because she claims TO know Christ. I am not in a position to judge the heart, so why even think such things?
The sad thing here, is even CHRISTIANS act like Smiles did. Why? Because when we have done something to someone or done something we are ashamed of, it is easier to take the "justified" route, instead of accepting the responsibility that is ours. Out of our own guilt, we often place the weight of our own burden on the one we have wronged, while they are trying desperately to come to terms with the "new normal" for them. It isn't an easy road, but their own burden is so heavy that they cannot bear the weight of any more- much less one that is undeserved or misplaced. Navigating through their own emotions/burdens is all they can manage at present.
Believe me...I have totally been the one causing scenes before....thinking I was fixing things. But BOTH sides are wrong. Neither party is in a position to act out at the other, or to with-hold forgiveness from the other. Hurting people, hurt people. We all act badly, when we shouldn't.
As this relates to cancer, disabilities or other related things, people often times don't know what to or how to act after the newness of another persons situation comes to light. They place an "expectation" on that person to act the same, be the same and cause as little a disturbance as possible in their life, because the bottom line is selfishness. They (Or we- if we are in that position) don't want to change. They(we) don't want this to happen to them/us....so let's not be around them. Be disrupted from our lives, and heaven-forbid we become uncomfortable on the behalf of another person. So, what do we so often do? We give the other person a guilt trip. Or like "Smiles" did, treat someone with disrespect, with-hold forgiveness, etc....all because we cannot come face to face with our guilt/responsibility.
Own up to when you have wronged someone...you will look more like Jesus.
Forgive quickly....it displays Christ on your face.
Don't judge others based on what you yourself don't want to do, or didn't do when you knew you should have....Christ didn't come to condemn, He came to save. (John 3:17 "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.")
Bottom line.......LOVE. 1 Cor 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Love people to LIFE. (John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.") Be the Jesus for the world to see. Let's obey Him and learn to live like him.
Guilt is a dangerous weapon used by the enemy to stop many from coming to Christ, and used too often by Christians who hold others and ultimately themselves in bondage.
Victory in Jesus is just one action away, one word of kindness-away, one refusal to do wrong-away, and one act of forgiveness away from each and every one of us.
Cade likes to sing Christmas Carols. Right now he is singing "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing". When he gets to "Peace on earth, and mercy mild God and sinner reconcile" His version goes like this...."Peace on earth and Mercy filed....God has sinners to reconcile." Oh, I wish it were so simple, but it isn't. It requires us to make a difficult choice between what we "want" to do and what we "need" to do.
Don't stand in the darkness any longer. The day has dawned anew, and with it- NEW MERCIES. Fall at the feet of Jesus and find your rest. Find your freedom, and live a life worthy of Him and free....from guilt.
"That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown..."
We are so blessed, aren't we? We woke up this morning, and today is a new day full of mercy and blessings. I stand continuallly amazed when I think of those things. And so often I am guilty of thinking that those things and His promises aren't enough.
I am continuing with my writing project. I am working on the 12th chapter and it is about Guilt. Guilt comes in all shapes and sizes. I was namely going to point out several aspects of it from a cancer patient's side....when the following story had me writing out some more thoughts on the very subject.
As you know, Aaron's father (David) has varying medical issues that require 100% care. Over the 5 years that he has been home, we have had nurse after nurse, after nurse come into the home and work/care for David. Until the last two (Syndee and Jana) we were about out of hope that there was truly honest, and hard working individuals out there who could do this job.
That being said, I was shopping in town and ran in to a woman we will name "Smiles". She worked for us for some time and we all became quite settled with the routine that we had developed. After a couple of months she began displaying some behavior that is less than stellar, but being in the situation we were, we felt limited and loathed letting her go.
When she saw me, she immediately tried to get away as fast as she could. I stopped and spoke to her saying "hello" and "It is nice to see you again. How have you been?" Thinking that since it has been several years, she may not recognize me, and so forth....I said, "Oh! Do you remember me? I am so and so....." before I could finish speaking, "Smiles" said "Oh yes I do! Come on (to the person she was with), lets get away from HER!"
Some relationships have a lot of water under the bridge. This one in particular was a "toxic" relationship that ended well, or so we thought. I was stunned that she responded so harshly. I was embarrassed that she reacted like that, in the store no less, when she was in NO position to be acting like that. The more I thought about it, the madder I became. "How dare she....", "I should have said.....", were among the thoughts coursing through my mind. Then I stopped, repented and immediately felt guilty. Why? I probably would have been within my "rights" to react like she did, but I also have Jesus in me and everything within screamed "STOP! Turn the other cheek....Love her....She needs Jesus."
But, even that last statement left me feelings of guilt, because she claims TO know Christ. I am not in a position to judge the heart, so why even think such things?
The sad thing here, is even CHRISTIANS act like Smiles did. Why? Because when we have done something to someone or done something we are ashamed of, it is easier to take the "justified" route, instead of accepting the responsibility that is ours. Out of our own guilt, we often place the weight of our own burden on the one we have wronged, while they are trying desperately to come to terms with the "new normal" for them. It isn't an easy road, but their own burden is so heavy that they cannot bear the weight of any more- much less one that is undeserved or misplaced. Navigating through their own emotions/burdens is all they can manage at present.
Believe me...I have totally been the one causing scenes before....thinking I was fixing things. But BOTH sides are wrong. Neither party is in a position to act out at the other, or to with-hold forgiveness from the other. Hurting people, hurt people. We all act badly, when we shouldn't.
As this relates to cancer, disabilities or other related things, people often times don't know what to or how to act after the newness of another persons situation comes to light. They place an "expectation" on that person to act the same, be the same and cause as little a disturbance as possible in their life, because the bottom line is selfishness. They (Or we- if we are in that position) don't want to change. They(we) don't want this to happen to them/us....so let's not be around them. Be disrupted from our lives, and heaven-forbid we become uncomfortable on the behalf of another person. So, what do we so often do? We give the other person a guilt trip. Or like "Smiles" did, treat someone with disrespect, with-hold forgiveness, etc....all because we cannot come face to face with our guilt/responsibility.
Own up to when you have wronged someone...you will look more like Jesus.
Forgive quickly....it displays Christ on your face.
Don't judge others based on what you yourself don't want to do, or didn't do when you knew you should have....Christ didn't come to condemn, He came to save. (John 3:17 "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.")
Bottom line.......LOVE. 1 Cor 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Love people to LIFE. (John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.") Be the Jesus for the world to see. Let's obey Him and learn to live like him.
Guilt is a dangerous weapon used by the enemy to stop many from coming to Christ, and used too often by Christians who hold others and ultimately themselves in bondage.
Victory in Jesus is just one action away, one word of kindness-away, one refusal to do wrong-away, and one act of forgiveness away from each and every one of us.
Cade likes to sing Christmas Carols. Right now he is singing "Hark, the Herald Angels Sing". When he gets to "Peace on earth, and mercy mild God and sinner reconcile" His version goes like this...."Peace on earth and Mercy filed....God has sinners to reconcile." Oh, I wish it were so simple, but it isn't. It requires us to make a difficult choice between what we "want" to do and what we "need" to do.
Don't stand in the darkness any longer. The day has dawned anew, and with it- NEW MERCIES. Fall at the feet of Jesus and find your rest. Find your freedom, and live a life worthy of Him and free....from guilt.
"That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown..."
Thursday, December 15, 2011
The "daze" before Christmas....
This week....I think I have been busy with 12 things to do each day for Christmas. So, instead of boring you with my daily lists, I thought I would share my 12 FAVORITE things about Christmas instead! =)
12) Buying, Making, and Wrapping gifts for people.
11) Listening To Christmas Music
10) Baking Christmas Cookies and Candies
9) Decorating The Christmas Tree
8) Holiday Get-Togethers
7) Recieving things in the Mail from family and friends
6) Making a gingerbread house with my little guy
5) Caroling
4) Watching Christmas Re-runs on TV with my family
3) Opening gifts on Christmas Morning and Watching Cade Open His
2) Reading The Christmas Story
1) Jesus
I love everything about Christmas. I do notice, however, that it seems like each year there are more and more distractions taking me away from these things that I love, and I often spend the 12 Days of Christmas in sheer panic...hoping I have crossed every item off the list, pulled the cookies out in time, remembered everyone on my Christmas Card List, wrote the correct name on each gift, more importantly- did I buy a gift for everyone I was supposed to, and the list goes on. Do you see the distraction?
So, this year I have decided to stop each day and focus on things that really matter. I am not talking about focusing for hours- just 15 minutes or so. (My OCD-self couldn't handle it...)
-Focus past the cockroach I found in my lunch at a resturant this week.
- past the little boy who spilled chocolate milk (again) down his pants and decides to wear his pants tucked into his socks for his new "look".
- past the bad hair days.
- past the family dysfunction
- past the busy schedules/appointments
And focus on Jesus.
This week Cade asked Jesus to come into his heart. He said he prayed during the reading of the Christmas Story. I love the honesty that is displayed in a child. It was during that conversation that I determined to do things differently and focus, really focus on the reason for Christmas. With this thought in mind....I will leave you with these verses:
12) Buying, Making, and Wrapping gifts for people.
11) Listening To Christmas Music
10) Baking Christmas Cookies and Candies
9) Decorating The Christmas Tree
8) Holiday Get-Togethers
7) Recieving things in the Mail from family and friends
6) Making a gingerbread house with my little guy
5) Caroling
4) Watching Christmas Re-runs on TV with my family
3) Opening gifts on Christmas Morning and Watching Cade Open His
2) Reading The Christmas Story
1) Jesus
I love everything about Christmas. I do notice, however, that it seems like each year there are more and more distractions taking me away from these things that I love, and I often spend the 12 Days of Christmas in sheer panic...hoping I have crossed every item off the list, pulled the cookies out in time, remembered everyone on my Christmas Card List, wrote the correct name on each gift, more importantly- did I buy a gift for everyone I was supposed to, and the list goes on. Do you see the distraction?
So, this year I have decided to stop each day and focus on things that really matter. I am not talking about focusing for hours- just 15 minutes or so. (My OCD-self couldn't handle it...)
-Focus past the cockroach I found in my lunch at a resturant this week.
- past the little boy who spilled chocolate milk (again) down his pants and decides to wear his pants tucked into his socks for his new "look".
- past the bad hair days.
- past the family dysfunction
- past the busy schedules/appointments
And focus on Jesus.
This week Cade asked Jesus to come into his heart. He said he prayed during the reading of the Christmas Story. I love the honesty that is displayed in a child. It was during that conversation that I determined to do things differently and focus, really focus on the reason for Christmas. With this thought in mind....I will leave you with these verses:
"Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger."
"And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: "Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!"
Luke 2:8-14
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Pictures from the weekend!
Below are some great shots taken by my wonderful and talented friend, Megan! Thought you'd enjoy some of them...
Here is one that Cade took of Megan and I...
Some of the wonderful, Chocolate-y Buckeyes! Yumm!!!
And last, but certainly NOT the least...is some jewelry. (These are a few that Megan created....mine were going out as gifts so I really couldn't display mine! <3 ) She did a fabulous job, didn't she?
There you are....our weekend in pictures!
Have a wonderful day! I will be busy with appointments today.....Lord willing with WONDERFUL remission news!
Here is one that Cade took of Megan and I...
Some of the wonderful, Chocolate-y Buckeyes! Yumm!!!
And last, but certainly NOT the least...is some jewelry. (These are a few that Megan created....mine were going out as gifts so I really couldn't display mine! <3 ) She did a fabulous job, didn't she?
There you are....our weekend in pictures!
Have a wonderful day! I will be busy with appointments today.....Lord willing with WONDERFUL remission news!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Have Mercy!!!
Good Morning!
What a fabulous, fun, and friend filled weekend we had! Have mercy! We laughed so hard until our sides ached, talked until our throats were hoarse, and shared some sweet memories and just because we are girls- we cried too.
My friend Megan S. came here for a visit. She is such a sweet, sweet friend. So blessed to have her in my life. Our agenda looked a lot like this:
What a fabulous, fun, and friend filled weekend we had! Have mercy! We laughed so hard until our sides ached, talked until our throats were hoarse, and shared some sweet memories and just because we are girls- we cried too.
My friend Megan S. came here for a visit. She is such a sweet, sweet friend. So blessed to have her in my life. Our agenda looked a lot like this:
-Picked her up from the airport
-Stayed up into the wee hours of the night laughing our heads off!
-Shopped all the hobby/craft stores
-Beaded watches and earrings
-More visiting past midnight
-Beading and laughing some more
-Church
-Baking/Candy Making
-Another Late Night
-Blood work appointment
-Shopping just for fun
-Dropped her off at the airport Monday afternoon
Megan, what a wonderful weekend! It was wonderful to talk with you- and really talk without interruptions. Thank you for spending your birthday weekend with your friend here in the middle of God's country (that's right....the only Buckeye's here are the candy....just sayin'). You are a treasure for sure.
Catching up on sleep and rest has been top priority. I would love to make it sound really glorious, but thankfully you are unable to see me as I am sure to have been snoring or drooling, or perhaps both. This ol' girl hasn't pulled an all-nighter in a couple of years...but it was oh, so worth it! I just feel so old now!
Last night I had a Jewelry party. What a fun time!!! PLUS- I was able to get a TON of jewelry free. How cool is that?
The rest of the week is going to be full as well. Cade has an appt at the ENT this morning to check his ears. He still is struggling with ear infections...so the tubes are going to probably be going back in. Plus, I have two appts tomorrow. One for my Oncologist (praying I am STILL in remission) and one for the Plastic Surgeon. Yes, I will be having another surgery soon. Will keep you posted (not that it is that interesting...but I have to keep you 10 readers happy! =))
Still no news on Aaron's Ultrasound, though they told him that things had remained the same. That is good I guess. They want him to come in, but I am learning not to get terribly worked up about stuff until I have reason too. This year has taught me that. Worry just robs today of it's peace and tomorrow of God's glory.
Still no news on Aaron's dad. We should hear today.
Going to be finishing up shopping with my mother in law today. Oh, how I love the Christmas season and buying for others! Such a great blessing for me and I know for her as well!
Getting ready to ready my Bible and start my day on my knees. I just can't seem to do it any other way. And sadly, I have tried. Reading through the book of James right now. I have been stuck in that one for a while. That little book has ruined me- for good. I am a "read the end of the chapter" kind-of-girl....and let me give you a clue: Every time I read it, MERCY TRIUMPHS.
What a great thought and something to think on. How is it evidenced in my life? Others around me? What should it look like? How do we always remember to do this? How do we hide God's word there and make it stick? There are just a few questions I am working through, but let me say you will NEVER waste time in God's word. I heard that one time from Beth Moore and how true it is.
I am leaving you with this thought today...as you go about your business (or pleasure) think on these verses with me:
"If any or you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally
without reproach, and it will be given to him." James 1:5
(There is our first practical step for today)
"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, decieving yourselves." James 1:23
(Second step is doing what the Word of God says)
"Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble,
and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." James 1:27
(The third and last step isn't possible without the first two.)
Each time I read through this wonderful book, my heart feels heavy. I know just how often I fail at doing the things I know that I ought to do. But, I find great encouragement in this verse:
"You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand." James 5:8
This verse tells me that I need to give myself a break....not from spiritual things, but from pressuring myself to focus on works. I have to focus on Jesus and allow His work in my life; His Spirit to establish my heart. I can only do that when I spend time with Him. Just like a friendship- we have to do our part and not make things a one way street. And above all....have mercy.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Disguise....
I have always said that the Lord has a sense of humor. If He didn't have one, He certainly would have NEVER created humans! We are funny creatures, in more way than one.
Yesterday morning, I was reading through the Psalms. Specifically Psalms 62 and 63. There were two verses in particular that caught my attention. They sort of jumped out at me and I began pondering them...
The first one was Psalms 62:7 "My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge."
Some notes I had written in the margin said: "not from anyone else, or our own opinion...." I had to stop and rethink about that. So often we base our salvation on our works, talents, opinions, all the while forgetting that we did NOTHING to get it. Our honor isn't based on ourselves either. It is the transforming work of the Holy Spirit. It isn't about us, but about what God is doing.
I wrestled with that. Don't misunderstand.....we all do this, but when I reached the conclusion that this life is all about what God is doing, I was properly chastized.
Most of us live our whole lives convinced that we are doing the right thing, especially when it "feels right". Our feelings/emotions can be dangerous to our decision making process. They often times lead us apart from what the WILL of God is. If we are not immersed in His word and familiar with it, then loose translations can become our guide instead of context, and actual meaning.
On the heels of that verse, the next one jumped out at me....Psalms 63:3 "Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you."
It seems everywhere we look, people are fighting-with life. Glad, thankful, happy, sad, disillusioned, angry. All of these things that manifest themselves during different seasons of our life are....emotions. The danger in the first three, is the ability to forget where we came from. The pain and the suffering we have endured, or worse yet....the misconception that since we haven't endured much pain and suffering in our lives that we are immune to it, or we must have done something right- that others just "don't get" and we fail to be compassionate, loving, Christ-like servants that scripture call us to.
The obvious danger in the last three emotions listed is that we often base our view of God and others off these same emotions instead of looking at the nature of the Lord, the blessing we get wether our lips glorify him or not, and we most certainly forget that we are NOT here for us. Not created to have everything perfect in our lives. When hardship comes, it is difficult to praise, because we are face to face with reality....and to quote from a favorite play by my good friend Raelene...."Reality stinks!" Our inability to live in the here and now with reality all around us which includes hurting people, often times finds us wearing disguises. In short- we never become who we were meant to be. Whether we have believed emotions or another lie, we often become short sighted by our pain, or perhaps even our joys, and we miss the blessing of both.
Laura Story has a song out in which she paints a raw and vivid picture of just that. Disguise, only it isn't ourselves. It is the blessings of the Lord in the heartaches of this life. I have wrestled with this one.
I love to sing as many of you know and I was prepared to sing this song, when I realized that I cannot sing something that I don't understand. Every word out of our mouths is something that we will be accountable, and for me to have gone up and performed this song, would have been just that- a performance. The Lord was dealing with me in many ways about this song....
Allow me to be vulnerable a minute-
In the past 7 years, since Aaron and I were married, there has been blessing upon blessing, but also our fair share of heartache as well.
-Aarons dad (David) had a paralyzing stroke in '05, and requires constant care thru a hired nurse or family for every need he has, still to this day...
-The same year, we lost Aaron's two uncles (David's brothers) within two months of each other, though we didn't know them closely, the estates were left to Aaron's mom and his remaining aunt, still unresolved (for various reasons).
-I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer this very week last year and am in remission.
-Aaron is still waiting for his own results from his thyroid Ultrasound (will be redone this friday).
-Aaron's brother had a bout with cancer himself along with other struggles he has endured.
-Tomorrow we go to the Oncologist for Dave (Aaron's Dad). They think he has bone cancer or something going on. Specifics to come. Prayers are appreciated.
I would love to stick my head in the sand. I am tired of carrying unresolved issues of health and family drama that never end. I struggle with anger when I see others have it "easy". I often get mad when someone makes a comment about how we are handling this, or places a judgement on issues and ground where they have never walked. Burdens get heavy. Time seems to span eternity...often. Unfairness screams at every turn, every diagnosis, and at every time I hear of something else. My plate is full, as is so many others. The burden is as heavy to the one holding it up as yours is to you. Let me ask you this....how would you handle this? How would you respond to more dissappoinment? Judgement? Being Ostrasized by friends because you are too much?
So often we can "get away" from these things. However, only if they belong to someone else. I have come to see with clarity, the suffering of those with long-term illness. Of having a handicapped/disabled child. Of having to bear the consequences of someone else in your family because they cannot get it together themselves. But I have also learned to find peace.
Peace in the circumstances that will one day change, but that day is long in coming. Peace in the dispair and diappointment of others. The first verse I mentioned focuses in clearly now.....He is my mighty rock, my refuge; and my salvation and honor depend on God alone. Thank you Lord! If it depended on me, you know where I would be right now. Lost.
Forgive me for not having the right kind of things to say. For not being there when you have needed me as a friend. For handling myself poorly. At times I am overwhelmed. So many of us are. Could that be where the enemy tries to do his worst? In the power of offense? It often works because we run on emotions far too often instead of running to Jesus, our fortress.
What would the world look like if we recognized that others have burdens too....sometimes bigger than ours? What if we were quick to forgive someones bad behavior instead of living like we were incapable of doing the same thing ourselves?
It is in the humble admission that we see clearly and find peace. We cannot do "life" on our own. It is often in our greatest disappointments...that we see the aching of our hearts.....revealing a greater thrirst this world can't satisfy. "....your love is better than life."
The world is hurting. Christians are hurting. It is time to take off the disguise and live in the reality that without knowing the healing love of Jesus, some will face eternity in hell. That without embracing that healing love of Jesus ourselves, we will live a defeated, bitter, and angry life. If that doesn't stir you to action or even a desire to see this change, you may have more than just one disguise.....
I will sing this song one day, but for now, I am humbled and thankful. So much so that it forms a solid lump in the back of my throat. My healing is coming through tears, and it wasn't a thousand sleepless nights, just a few hundred....but I know one thing-He is REAL and He is NEAR. And He is coming back soon. I want to be whole again. Physically, Spiritually and Mentally....so when He comes back and I see Him I can say, "yes, Lord....I saw your blessings. I saw you in my pain and learned that you and only you are more than enough. I wanted healing, so you refused to give me lesser things, and you gave me only the things that would allow me to at last take off my disguise and see You and to see me for who I really am...both the good and the bad."
Yesterday morning, I was reading through the Psalms. Specifically Psalms 62 and 63. There were two verses in particular that caught my attention. They sort of jumped out at me and I began pondering them...
The first one was Psalms 62:7 "My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge."
Some notes I had written in the margin said: "not from anyone else, or our own opinion...." I had to stop and rethink about that. So often we base our salvation on our works, talents, opinions, all the while forgetting that we did NOTHING to get it. Our honor isn't based on ourselves either. It is the transforming work of the Holy Spirit. It isn't about us, but about what God is doing.
I wrestled with that. Don't misunderstand.....we all do this, but when I reached the conclusion that this life is all about what God is doing, I was properly chastized.
Most of us live our whole lives convinced that we are doing the right thing, especially when it "feels right". Our feelings/emotions can be dangerous to our decision making process. They often times lead us apart from what the WILL of God is. If we are not immersed in His word and familiar with it, then loose translations can become our guide instead of context, and actual meaning.
On the heels of that verse, the next one jumped out at me....Psalms 63:3 "Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you."
It seems everywhere we look, people are fighting-with life. Glad, thankful, happy, sad, disillusioned, angry. All of these things that manifest themselves during different seasons of our life are....emotions. The danger in the first three, is the ability to forget where we came from. The pain and the suffering we have endured, or worse yet....the misconception that since we haven't endured much pain and suffering in our lives that we are immune to it, or we must have done something right- that others just "don't get" and we fail to be compassionate, loving, Christ-like servants that scripture call us to.
The obvious danger in the last three emotions listed is that we often base our view of God and others off these same emotions instead of looking at the nature of the Lord, the blessing we get wether our lips glorify him or not, and we most certainly forget that we are NOT here for us. Not created to have everything perfect in our lives. When hardship comes, it is difficult to praise, because we are face to face with reality....and to quote from a favorite play by my good friend Raelene...."Reality stinks!" Our inability to live in the here and now with reality all around us which includes hurting people, often times finds us wearing disguises. In short- we never become who we were meant to be. Whether we have believed emotions or another lie, we often become short sighted by our pain, or perhaps even our joys, and we miss the blessing of both.
Laura Story has a song out in which she paints a raw and vivid picture of just that. Disguise, only it isn't ourselves. It is the blessings of the Lord in the heartaches of this life. I have wrestled with this one.
I love to sing as many of you know and I was prepared to sing this song, when I realized that I cannot sing something that I don't understand. Every word out of our mouths is something that we will be accountable, and for me to have gone up and performed this song, would have been just that- a performance. The Lord was dealing with me in many ways about this song....
Allow me to be vulnerable a minute-
In the past 7 years, since Aaron and I were married, there has been blessing upon blessing, but also our fair share of heartache as well.
-Aarons dad (David) had a paralyzing stroke in '05, and requires constant care thru a hired nurse or family for every need he has, still to this day...
-The same year, we lost Aaron's two uncles (David's brothers) within two months of each other, though we didn't know them closely, the estates were left to Aaron's mom and his remaining aunt, still unresolved (for various reasons).
-I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer this very week last year and am in remission.
-Aaron is still waiting for his own results from his thyroid Ultrasound (will be redone this friday).
-Aaron's brother had a bout with cancer himself along with other struggles he has endured.
-Tomorrow we go to the Oncologist for Dave (Aaron's Dad). They think he has bone cancer or something going on. Specifics to come. Prayers are appreciated.
I would love to stick my head in the sand. I am tired of carrying unresolved issues of health and family drama that never end. I struggle with anger when I see others have it "easy". I often get mad when someone makes a comment about how we are handling this, or places a judgement on issues and ground where they have never walked. Burdens get heavy. Time seems to span eternity...often. Unfairness screams at every turn, every diagnosis, and at every time I hear of something else. My plate is full, as is so many others. The burden is as heavy to the one holding it up as yours is to you. Let me ask you this....how would you handle this? How would you respond to more dissappoinment? Judgement? Being Ostrasized by friends because you are too much?
So often we can "get away" from these things. However, only if they belong to someone else. I have come to see with clarity, the suffering of those with long-term illness. Of having a handicapped/disabled child. Of having to bear the consequences of someone else in your family because they cannot get it together themselves. But I have also learned to find peace.
Peace in the circumstances that will one day change, but that day is long in coming. Peace in the dispair and diappointment of others. The first verse I mentioned focuses in clearly now.....He is my mighty rock, my refuge; and my salvation and honor depend on God alone. Thank you Lord! If it depended on me, you know where I would be right now. Lost.
Forgive me for not having the right kind of things to say. For not being there when you have needed me as a friend. For handling myself poorly. At times I am overwhelmed. So many of us are. Could that be where the enemy tries to do his worst? In the power of offense? It often works because we run on emotions far too often instead of running to Jesus, our fortress.
What would the world look like if we recognized that others have burdens too....sometimes bigger than ours? What if we were quick to forgive someones bad behavior instead of living like we were incapable of doing the same thing ourselves?
It is in the humble admission that we see clearly and find peace. We cannot do "life" on our own. It is often in our greatest disappointments...that we see the aching of our hearts.....revealing a greater thrirst this world can't satisfy. "....your love is better than life."
The world is hurting. Christians are hurting. It is time to take off the disguise and live in the reality that without knowing the healing love of Jesus, some will face eternity in hell. That without embracing that healing love of Jesus ourselves, we will live a defeated, bitter, and angry life. If that doesn't stir you to action or even a desire to see this change, you may have more than just one disguise.....
I will sing this song one day, but for now, I am humbled and thankful. So much so that it forms a solid lump in the back of my throat. My healing is coming through tears, and it wasn't a thousand sleepless nights, just a few hundred....but I know one thing-He is REAL and He is NEAR. And He is coming back soon. I want to be whole again. Physically, Spiritually and Mentally....so when He comes back and I see Him I can say, "yes, Lord....I saw your blessings. I saw you in my pain and learned that you and only you are more than enough. I wanted healing, so you refused to give me lesser things, and you gave me only the things that would allow me to at last take off my disguise and see You and to see me for who I really am...both the good and the bad."
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