We are loving the 60's all this week. Just about perfect weather! Marshmallow and Hotdog roasts over open fires and the smell of the wood smoke in the air just shouts of falls arrival. We have finally embraced the fall-like weather after a dry and long summer of heat.
Fall is another one of my favorite times of year. This year I ordered multiple trees. Hopefully they will arrive prior to our leaving next week for our Thanksgiving plans, but such is life. They will live. I hope. =)
I went with fruit trees. The type that usually do really well around our area. Apple, Pears, Peaches, a grape vine, and a Kiwi. How fun! I think there was a cherry tree as well, but we'll see. My short term memory is on a leash this morning...
I sat last week and last evening with a family in the hospital ICU waiting room. Their loved one is passing. So young. So needless. Letting go is never easy. I grieve for them. With them. My heart aches to watch the light from their eyes dim that much more as a part of them comes face to face with the realities of death. Sin. Suffering. This side of Eden. I was reminded that it was me there also...just two years ago now. Not in quite the same way, but facing the same things. Struggle. Heartache. Disappointment.
As I cried myself to sleep last night I realized that as I fought day after day thru cancer, I had high hopes that at some point when "all this passed" that I could just throw it over my shoulder as if I was done. Hoping that all the bad would go and the good would stay. It didn't and left me disappointed, but even more Thankful this year.
Joining in a study on Marriage last evening at chruch, I was caught off guard each time we read scripture with the words like "remember", "return", "behold". All three doing something of action. Sometimes forced. My daily reading was no different. Over and over, I kept looking for the one thing I thought the scriptures were saying, encouraging, telling them to look at. And then I closed my eyes and I started to remember.
That was it. The word REMEMBER. For me. For them. Perhaps for you. REMEMBER. RETURN. BEHOLD.
As I put up my Christmas tree, I stopped. Cade was at school. Aaron at work. I paused as I took a deep breath and I remembered the exact place I put my tree two years ago. What I wore, what I was listening to, and the smell. Kind of smothered out Cinnamon. Glitter. Dust. Memories. Thoughts. The fragile ornaments. The manger. And it happened again....REMEMBER...sort of like a whisper this time, but clear. RETURN. BEHOLD.
My tree is full of butterflies. Many of you so graciously gave to me and mine a butterfly memory and we have turned our 9ft wonder into a garden of beauty with the winged reminders. Memories returning. Preparing to celebrate His glory as we behold another year of His birthday.
Again this morning I paused. Looking outside over the fields. I smelled our stinky goat Captain Patrick and smiled. Who in the world would have thought? Goats? Me??? Things sure have changed here on Walton's Mountain! (LOL @ R)
Thanksgiving is around the corner. Food, family, visiting, traveling, laughter, music, shopping. Oh the fun to be had! Yes, as early as I have my tree up, I have NOT forgotten Thanksgiving. Regardless if it becomes a forgotten holiday, in our household it will be celebrated as a prelude to Christmas. Perfect for our hearts preparation for worship. Thankfulness seems to always preceed a miracle. Not always what we expect. But heaven reaching our hearts as only He can.
This year my tethered memory is Thankful. Recalling every blessing I wanted to leave you with a few:
My family.
Time.
Healing.
Beauty.
Friends.
And most of all, Emmanuel- God with us. Always. Unchanging. Unshakable.
As I REMEMBER, RETURN and BEHOLD, My heart overflows....
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Bits and Pieces...
Halloween is over and all that is left of it is our rotting pumpkin out on our front doorstep and the fake candy bits and pieces that have attached themselves to the bottom of Cade's bucket. (gross) We have attachment issues here...=) When you are six, letting go is hard to do....whether it is the pumpkin you worked so hard on or the last of the candy you walked and walked to get, that stuff is hard to part with.
We have had a wonderful couple of weeks!
We are gearing up to go to MS this Thanksgiving. We are SUPER excited to see our CA relatives and meet these wonderful guys that married my fabulous cousins! PLUS our entire family will be together. Each child of G'ma's along with their kids and spouses and children. Yes, that is ALL of us. YEAH!!!!! Life is so precious. I realized that when we were down there two years ago. We weren't all together, but I will let you in on a little secret...knowing that we had plans to ALL get together for 2012 kept me going through some dark times. Tears come just thinking of it. I love my family with a passion. I hate what Cancer has done to my body, but I LOVE what it has shown me about those I love. Yes, I am thankful this year. Oh so thankful.
Here is what we have been up to:
-Cade has 4 loose teeth. Attachment issues there as well, but we are working through it. Soon he will have no choice! =) He will add some teeth to his Christmas List this year.
-Aaron is doing a FABULOUS job at our church. We miss our old church dearly and love them so much, but are thankful that we have become established here and are starting to see more and more growth.
-I have finished the first leg of my book. It is now with the editors and I await revisions.
-My favorite pair of pants completely ripped out last week while I was trying to see what was out bothering my goat friends late one night. Aaron was in the truck providing security and lights while I checked each one. Out of nowhere this guy (who ended up being our neighbor) pops up out of the bush behind me and asks me if I have seen his horse. My embarrassment was complete when his mom came out in their truck through the field and turned her lights on as well. The said pants were past their prime and had to go. I'll let it pass that he mentioned me and his horse in the same sentence and just stick to the pants...never wear ripped pants anywhere. There is just no modest way out.....
-My restrictions are finally off! WOOOHOOO!!!! Lord willing this will be the last of them. I can finally find a normal and stick to it without another long and drawn out thing looming in my future.
-I completely blew off an appointment with my Radiation Onc. When you have 6 Dr's you see on a fairly regular basis, that is easy to do. They just laughed...but guess what? It has already been ONE YEAR since I have seen him last! *Fist pump*
-I have a job! Yes, a real job. I am no longer at the welcome window at school, but I come in later that day for 3 hours and teach PE. I loved it! Yesterday was my first day and let me tell you, I believe the kids are praying their old teacher returns! I had a total of 8 crying for various reasons and the oldest group were laid out on the floor waiting for dismissal. LOL! Perhaps from their perspective it wasn't so great, but I LOVED the kids. They were hysterical! I recieved an additional workout as well. 3 hours worth. When they ran, I ran. When they sat, I sat. The only thing I didn't help them with was team builders. They were great!
-Aaron's dad is recovering from Pneumonia. He was in the hospital for a week and we have seen him improve a bit since being home. It is difficult to see him like this. He is miserable, and there isn't a thing we can do for him. If you think about it, would you pray for him? He is coming up on his 6th yr anniversary of his stroke. This is always a bittersweet time for our family, but God is good. He has given us much. We look forward to celebrate another year! Praise You Jesus for being our Emmanuel...God with us!
I hope this finds you well. I know that this is just bits and pieces. I will have more to write soon. I have turned in my lesson plans for Nov. My worship team schedule and set lists are completed for Nov, and the schedule is done for the year. *sigh* Being a pastors wife is different, but good. Hard work, but so fulfilling. We are looking into the life of Jonah in our womens bible study. Taking just 6 verses at a time and trusting the Lord to reveal to us life lessons that will allow us to navigate the troubled waters of our life.
He will.
Always.
I promise....even when all we have to give Him,
Is the bits and pieces....
We have had a wonderful couple of weeks!
We are gearing up to go to MS this Thanksgiving. We are SUPER excited to see our CA relatives and meet these wonderful guys that married my fabulous cousins! PLUS our entire family will be together. Each child of G'ma's along with their kids and spouses and children. Yes, that is ALL of us. YEAH!!!!! Life is so precious. I realized that when we were down there two years ago. We weren't all together, but I will let you in on a little secret...knowing that we had plans to ALL get together for 2012 kept me going through some dark times. Tears come just thinking of it. I love my family with a passion. I hate what Cancer has done to my body, but I LOVE what it has shown me about those I love. Yes, I am thankful this year. Oh so thankful.
Here is what we have been up to:
-Cade has 4 loose teeth. Attachment issues there as well, but we are working through it. Soon he will have no choice! =) He will add some teeth to his Christmas List this year.
-Aaron is doing a FABULOUS job at our church. We miss our old church dearly and love them so much, but are thankful that we have become established here and are starting to see more and more growth.
-I have finished the first leg of my book. It is now with the editors and I await revisions.
-My favorite pair of pants completely ripped out last week while I was trying to see what was out bothering my goat friends late one night. Aaron was in the truck providing security and lights while I checked each one. Out of nowhere this guy (who ended up being our neighbor) pops up out of the bush behind me and asks me if I have seen his horse. My embarrassment was complete when his mom came out in their truck through the field and turned her lights on as well. The said pants were past their prime and had to go. I'll let it pass that he mentioned me and his horse in the same sentence and just stick to the pants...never wear ripped pants anywhere. There is just no modest way out.....
-My restrictions are finally off! WOOOHOOO!!!! Lord willing this will be the last of them. I can finally find a normal and stick to it without another long and drawn out thing looming in my future.
-I completely blew off an appointment with my Radiation Onc. When you have 6 Dr's you see on a fairly regular basis, that is easy to do. They just laughed...but guess what? It has already been ONE YEAR since I have seen him last! *Fist pump*
-I have a job! Yes, a real job. I am no longer at the welcome window at school, but I come in later that day for 3 hours and teach PE. I loved it! Yesterday was my first day and let me tell you, I believe the kids are praying their old teacher returns! I had a total of 8 crying for various reasons and the oldest group were laid out on the floor waiting for dismissal. LOL! Perhaps from their perspective it wasn't so great, but I LOVED the kids. They were hysterical! I recieved an additional workout as well. 3 hours worth. When they ran, I ran. When they sat, I sat. The only thing I didn't help them with was team builders. They were great!
-Aaron's dad is recovering from Pneumonia. He was in the hospital for a week and we have seen him improve a bit since being home. It is difficult to see him like this. He is miserable, and there isn't a thing we can do for him. If you think about it, would you pray for him? He is coming up on his 6th yr anniversary of his stroke. This is always a bittersweet time for our family, but God is good. He has given us much. We look forward to celebrate another year! Praise You Jesus for being our Emmanuel...God with us!
I hope this finds you well. I know that this is just bits and pieces. I will have more to write soon. I have turned in my lesson plans for Nov. My worship team schedule and set lists are completed for Nov, and the schedule is done for the year. *sigh* Being a pastors wife is different, but good. Hard work, but so fulfilling. We are looking into the life of Jonah in our womens bible study. Taking just 6 verses at a time and trusting the Lord to reveal to us life lessons that will allow us to navigate the troubled waters of our life.
He will.
Always.
I promise....even when all we have to give Him,
Is the bits and pieces....
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