A Series of Firsts...

 This week has been a lot of "firsts" for the Shafer family.
First time at speech therapy for Libbi.
First time at Taekwondo for Cade. There's a first time for everything.

 This girl amazes me with her resilience. Her busyness, her non-listening skills, and then her ability to laugh. At everything. I'm not sure where she gets that from. The laughing part, that is.

 Her therapy session for speech is at 8:30 in the morning.  On Mondays, every Monday, for the next six months. Let me just say, that's early.
 Bless the therapist. She (Libbi)  is up, but doesn't regularly "do" mornings.  She likes her cereal in her cartoons. In that order.

 I needed another reason to adore Mondays. Bless.

Her posture and whole demeanor changed when she learned how to say "s" like (her words) a "big girl!" She was so proud. At the end of class she even dropped her "Shark" she picked out (for an animal that begins with the letter "s") like a "mic-drop" moment.

The drama in our house never goes far.

Cade interviewed (and passed), and  began Taekwondo twice a week. He LOVES it! His teacher is  One of a kind; "excellence" comes to mind when I think of her.  She began her interview by asking how he treats people. His mom, dad, sister, friends, schoolmates, you get the drift. As he stood there listening, he had his arms folded. And she asked him to stop. Much to my surprise she said that would be the last time he would need to do that. As folding or crossing the arms is a sign of disrespect and no one deserves that.

That'll preach.

 As you can see, by the pictures, they believe in routine and discipline. This particular routine consisted of army crawls, running, skipping, whole body jump/leaps, and push-ups. Back-and-forth, back-and-forth, And back-and-forth until the instructor said they were done.

Every exercise is repeated at the beginning of the class.  One last thing to note, she has each student  salute the flag, by placing their hand over their heart and bow with their eyes the ground. Not out of another persons dominion, but out of submission. Interestingly enough, as I sat there relishing the 55 minutes of freedom from mommin', (don't judge), I was pulling out my Kindle on my phone when the     Pledge of Allegiance began. As one accord, the entire place stood to do their feet salute the flag.

Except me.

This was my FIRST DAY.

 I tried to convey that in my look that passed between myself and the instructor, as she turned and gave me the stink-eye.  I looked at the lady next to me as I jumped to my feet, and begin reciting the pledge.

All she said was "yeah".

***special thanks for the solidarity***

 You'd better believe I was the last one to sit down.
 I decided I was gonna ride out the reverence. For the flag of course.

So yeah, there's a first time for everything. And in some cases that a good thing.

Have a great weekend, y'all!

Hugs, Erin

Libbi turns 4!

Just how in the world did that happen! Libbi celebrated her 4th birthday. 

FOUR!!! 

It seems just like yesterday she had just come home from the hospital, fist raised in victory

 as sleep claimed her tired body. Birth is such hard work. 

My heart over-flows...

After my last post on "Disappointment," I heard from several of you. Its wonderful when we can be of encouragement to each other. Bless you for writing me and letting me know!! 

This cold weather has us wrapped tight and looking for warmer days. But not too quickly! Let them be little a bit longer. She still fits in my lap. This little lady, at four years old is still a petite little peanut. She loves peanut butter and Strawberry Jelly sandwiches; hates getting a bath if it includes washing (is there any other???). She adores and annoys her older brother and can hold her own through humor and jokes. And she can hold still long enough for me to get a few precious moments on camera! 

Since my photos didn't load from last week, I'll share one of my favorites from last week. 

Bless you for stopping in! 

Disappointment

 My mom recently gifted me a book.  I quickly sifted through some of the chapter titles and realized immediately that it was full of all sorts of wisdom and wit and things that I just didn't have time for. Sounds selfish I know, but hear me out. Each time  I see books like this one, it makes me feel guilty. Overwhelmed. And desperately failing for sure. My heart longs to have "time." To processes things. I just don't have that right now.  Not the kind of time to try to fix everything that's broken. You catch my drift. Sometimes when you're in this type of funk you just need Jesus in a big way--not guilt.

So late one night, I cracked it open and started to read.  I couldn't sleep anyway, so I thought why not!
 I read the chapter on bitterness, unforgiveness, overwhelming need, loving God, desperate feelings, all these things (such great things) and definitely needed, but I just wasn't tracking with it. It just didn't seem like these were the "issues" that I knew the Lord was gently working on in me. (And you'll know it's Him because He's gentle and kind.) And when he lets you know your "issues" liquid relief flows down your face. At least down mine.
I was fine...Until I got to disappointment.

One sentence that the author spoke to her child, I read over and over and over again.
"...fairness doesn't live here anymore. But Jesus does." (Sheila Walsh)

Disappointment that life just isn't  what you thought it would be. It didn't bring the things you thought you needed. It brought different. And with different,  change. Change of everything you knew, or dreamed of. Spelled out sometimes,  in unfairness. Disappointment.

Jesus came...in a big way.

Let me just clarify: I certainly struggle with the other things, but this one (Disappointment/fairness) is something the Lord and I have been playing tug-of-war over for some time now. Sometimes at mid-life or just in this life we find ourselves disappointed in every area of our lives. It can look dark and overwhelming.

When I shared this with Aaron, I told him that I don't want to hold this against God anymore. It was time to let it go. Just stop the negative self talk inside my head. To let go of this stronghold that's held our marriage in bondage at times.  I may not like what cancer has done to my body, but when I look at those pictures I see a person who is alive and well. And has all the rest of her life to work it off. It's a gift. And a gift that Aaron has learned to accept as well. Jesus is Emmanuel. God with us, even in our broken parts.

When I look at my little, I see a spicy little girl, who takes life by the hands. Both hands. Sometimes requiring all hands that are available.  (Like when she dumped laundry detergent ALL OVER THE FLOOR AT THE STORE, topped it off with a package of nerds she "found" in the candy isle she stood by as I cleaned the floor.) I see Jesus.

 When I look at my oldest I see one who challenges me with learning new things and the blessedness of parenthood (especially through the hormone years.) Again I see Jesus.

When I look at our church, I see goodness, growth, and that sometimes there's gonna be people that say mean things about myself or my kids or my man. All I can do is pray that their disappointment becomes the catalyst for change in their life. The catapult that will launch them into seeking the Lord with all their heart, and if it's not at our church, that they would go with God, to the place where he is leading. Bless and release, as my sister-in-law says. Jesus is near.

Fairness may not live here anymore, but Jesus does. And He's taken the Disappointment too and filled its place with His presence. Room for the fruits that His Spirit brings that can cultivate change in the world around me. Especially my own outlook.

So today, I bear my soul and tell you that no, my life is not perfect, but I love it. In fact I just finished researching whether or not I needed Poison Control or Charcoal at the ER as my spicey little girl broke a glittery baton and DRANK the contents.

God Bless every broken road that leads us to the cross. Wifin' is hard. Mommin' is tough. Preacher wifin' ain't for wimps. But...

There are times we have to learn to acknowledge (and DEAL with the fact) that sometimes life is unfair,  and disappointing...but it is  also good and funny (and we all needed a good laugh knowing that we will now poop glittery-sparkly poop for days.)

Let Jesus live with you today.

***I really did have DARLING pics to go with this blog, however they aren't loading and Libbi has now released the birds into the house. I must go...#obviously