The Struggle is Real...

I've struggled this week.
This month.

Every time I turned around, there was something else.
(Yes, that is poop smeared on the red haired doll. )

Adulting is just plain difficult sometimes! Kids are just so darned forgiving when you completely fail.

The struggle is real.

Really hard to handle sometimes.

I've struggled
to find words to comfort as a sweet mama slept, so did the baby inside her, forever.

I've failed miserably
to stand on the sidelines and cheer as two loved ones make a final lap around this life as their days have been numbered and they run with endurance. When in truth all our days are numbered from our very first.

Clapping through the tears, and shouting "Well done, my friend! Well DONE!" Knowing full well that I, and so many will come undone when your final lap is complete. And it's well and good because we trust you have not been cheated of ONE day.

I've fallen to my knees
Blessing the Lord's name as I watch my friend do it, through eyes that have been clouded by a sight as fragile as glass. That when the lenses fade in time, you will have, with greater knowing, the four other senses. To feel, and smell, and taste, and hear that God is still good. Even in darkness.

Yes, the struggle is real.

Real funny
that even something as a simple bear hug and a trip to the Chiropractor, has now left me shoulder sore and  rib lame. Though nothing broken in bone, my anger at my failures has now floated to the surface like a broken ship. To the surface that as I try to cry, I cry out in pain. Even the smallest cough sends stars across my sight.

And isn't it just like God to remind me to look up in my brokenness, like a captain at sea does, to chart his course by those same stars.

Because in all of this, we are reminded that this is not our home.

Because the struggle for every one, every heart is real. Real hard. Real fun. Real funny. And real maddening. A cycle that repeats and releases just a bit more, our grip on LIFE.

There are weeks, like this one that challenge me with all that I have within me. This is one third of what I have heard and seen. One third of the other things greater, smaller and in between, but one thing I know. The God who called out the stars to shine in the sky, is calling us to Him. To see Him in the darkness, the struggles, the anger, the pain, the joys, and laughter. To see that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. And regardless of our failures or our successes, He is our biggest fan. Clapping and cheering us onward and upward.

"Well done, my child. My friend. My son. My daughter. For when you were your weakest, I was your firm foundation. When tears clouded your eyes, you were able to see me as though the Red Sea had just parted."

Faith that is sure, is faith that has been tested. Tried. Laughed and cried.

The struggle is real, my friends.

But it's worth it.

My 77 Steps...

Do you wear a FitBit? It's fun...when it works. I have "friends" on my account with FB that join in on these challenges where you walk so many steps, etc. The app on my phone updates on occasion or doesn't when it wants to. Last week it said I had  walked 77 steps. Yes, I'm a rockstar. You would want me on your team, right? Turns out the battery is going out on the Zip and it won't update to conserve energy. Lame.

Just because a "tracking device" doesn't track, does NOT mean that there wasn't progress. (I mean even the Jews traveled more on the Sabbath than 77 steps. Amaright?)  Sheesh.

However, the Lord has been good and is showing me so much about the little things that I do that aren't "tracked" or noticed. They matter. It usually isn't the big things in life that side track us, is it? But the little things that over time whittle away a chunk at a time where pretty soon the foundation is gone.

Whether the battery works or not, I desire to be faithful. To walk my steps. To fulfill my word, and to show up when that's the only thing to do. As frustrating as life gets sometimes, just show up. Walk your 77 steps or your 10,000. Be there. What you bring to this life, matters.

We saw evidence of that in DC. Yes, we still are talking about it. GO if you can. It is incredible! The men and women who founded this country...whew. They showed up and went the distance. Inspiring, and encouraging to build and rebuild a solid foundation.

(Oh, and if you go to DC...be prepared to walk a bit more than 77 steps...)

And the winner is...

We have a winner, winner!!! Deana Dobson was the winner of my blog drawing that was picked at random from the comments on my blog, page and Facebook page! Congrats, girl!!!

A copy of "For the Love" by Jen Hatmaker is headed your way!!! Pm or text me the address I need to send it to! 💖💖💖

Winner was chosen by random draw.

Special thanks for all of you who participated!!!

For the LOVE

For the Love

 

FIGHTING for GRACE in a world of impossible standards.

Jen Hatmaker

 

 

I don't think I realized what I was getting into when I joined the launch team for Jen's book. I mean, I was comfortable where I was, tucked away in my small little corner of the world.

Perhaps one of my teammates said it best: Jen "didn't write a book, she wrote a community."

For the Love is one of those books that will forever be a favorite. Not just because of the uber cool cover, but the wisdom, hilarious visuals, and of course the connection you feel with her; someone who "gets" me.

 

Jen has a way with words. The kind of words that motivate and produce change. They mean something when they can do that. She is real. She is genuine and her heart that she pours into these pages is simply beautiful.

 

 

There's sage wisdom for raising kids: "Do we emphasize behavior over character? Because good behavior won't guarantee anything. If they don't love Jesus and people, it matters zero if they remain virgins and don't say the F-word. We must shepherd their hearts, not just their hemlines."

 

 

Hilarious perspective in her "Fashion Concerns" chapter that is OH SO TRUE. You NEED to read this yourself. It is totally fun stuff. In Jen fashion, "Bless."

 

 

I have laughed until I literally fell over reading this book.  Aaron followed suit. For reals. She is on point with her humor and has called the truth exactly what it is. TRUTH. I seriously could gush and gush and go on and on, but I don't have to anymore because... THE BOOK RELEASED TODAY!!!



 

 

 



Go now. All things else will wait. I promise. You can order at forthelove.com or at Barnes and Noble and even on Amazon.com.

Now that I know, I've been inspired to change. Now that I have seen, I want to act differently...only no acting. Just being a Jesus girl giving and living in GRACE.

~Erin

PS: Are you interested in getting this book for FREE? Simply comment below, and a random name will be chosen! You're welcome!

Vacation 1...Update

I told you I'd get back to you with photos and here they are.

Better late than never!

I'll have you know, it's naptime and I'm hiding from the little as she is currently peeking at me under the door saying, "Mom-mom! I done? All done naptime?"

I have selective hearing. At least for the next few (downloading) minutes! =)

I've been in the mode of "Just do the next thing." It has taught me so much this summer. To stop and relax. Enjoy and have fun. Worry less and live more.

My kids remind me daily to just go for it. Literally--they start 100 mph at 0'dark-thirty. They live life just right out there.

I digress...

Here are the pics from our vacation.
 

Day 1: We traveled into DC via my brother Adam's house...1 1/2 hours away.

 

Sightseeing started at The Washington Monument. From there we went to The World II Memorial, The Lincoln Memorial, and finally the Museum of American History. (Hands to the Heavens) It was a HOT day, but Oh!!! SO incredibly beautiful.

 

May we never forget.

 

Adam went with us. He was clearly enthralled.

 

What his eyes have seen...

 

There was not a sound that even echoed around the wall of the fallen.

Complete silence. Reverence.

One could not walk through and leave unmoved.

Tears flowed freely.

 

While the rest of us admired the sights, Libbi plotted escape...at EVERY turn.

Yes, she has a leash. We called it the "hugging Owl."

 

Don't judge.

 

The White House. So stately and regal.

May we always honor the God in whom this country was founded on.

 

 

 

This was how we ended the day. In traffic, praising the Lord for Starbucks!

 

More pics to come!

 

Much love!

The Here and Now

 What a great time we had!

 We went to Washington DC (in the general area there) for  just about  two weeks.
 Great time to relax and enjoy some family time. We are so thankful for our church family letting us get away!

 My blog is also getting ready to have some updates done to it! I met a wonderful person through a book launch team, and she's been putting in some hard work for me.

 Speaking of book launches, I'm currently enrolled in two, and I'm thoroughly enjoying them. There's very little to do on our part, other than what you would do every day on social media. Such a great time to meet so many wonderful ladies!

 My heart and my mind have been so full of things I wanted to write. I will update the blog soon with tons of pictures. It will be photo overload. Fair warning.

I'm sitting here  in the car, waiting on Cade to finish up with his piano lessons. Libby is sitting in the back watching a movie. I cannot help but be amazed at the little ways God blesses, protects, and just is plain GOOD to us

 I cannot be the only one feeling the same way. Life is so precious, so dear, and always changing. It amazes me that He has such patience with us. He goes over and above. Always.

Bless you, dear reader as I know my posts have ebbed and flowed. Life has been wonderful – crazy. School starts in a couple weeks.  Whether you find yourself getting your Littles ready for school, or just ready for your next season in life, know that you're loved and cherished today.  Stay in the present, that's where he's waiting.

The sun is bright and shining. And so are the foreheads that live in this house. The heat index is 106 today. Hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk or a lizard on a Quonset hut.

My inner-redneck is showing. I guess that's what happens when the heat gets to me! =)

Today finds the kids napping, Aaron sermon prepping and I'm here with my feet propped up, and an iced cold La Croix in hand. Lime...my favorite.

My mind is trying to apply myself to studying about the armor of God, which I'm supposed to be teaching on tomorrow, but my heart is heavy for the church itself. How very appropriate to be learning more about the armor as the day approaches.

Our country is getting ready to celebrate a birthday. A day where we celebrate our independence. Our freedom from tyranny.

Finding freedom in today's world is much like it has always been for mankind. Someone will win, and others will lose. Winning begins with these three steps:
1) Knowing your opponent.
2) Preparing your armor.
3) And Readying yourself for a tough fight.

You cannot decide to fight well or to polish up your armor when the enemy is at your door. Things that take work are difficult because it calls us to daily drill in circumstances that aren't "Right Now." Or immediate. Instant satisfaction won't work with a battle. At least in most cases, battles are hard fought. Sacrifices made. Duty and discipline. A loyalty of heart, and a unity of spirit. Characteristics of a warrior begin in the heart and are played out in his/her life as the battle rages. Time and effort have been poured into the heart and trained in the mind. Over and over, and over and over. Until fluidity, accuracy, and dependability are obtained. The finished product is what is necessary to accept and hold onto the prize.

As Jesus followers, the same is true for us. Maybe even more so.

If it is true freedom that we are after, then we have to repeat those same three steps...and hold close to what it is that we are fighting for. It was for freedom that Christ set us free. (Galations 5:10). The end of that verse urges us to "Stand firm" and not let ourselves be yoked to slavery again.

The process repeats itself. Again and again.

Perhaps as we approach this birthday, may we think past the fireworks and the "winning," and look towards the horizon as we stand firm. In our freedom. At least for today.

Summer...

Potty training is a spiritual gift, but it's not mine. Apparently.
Little Miss is trying her best to NOT go most days, but on others amazes me with her...what would you call it...skill? Or whatever.

It would be easy, they said. "Fun" was the word they used. Her cuteness calls for grace. And lots and lots of laughs.

 

 

Mr. C is going places. He dreams big and loves loyal. I'm clearly his biggest fan! (His sister "crossed over" at his "Crossing Over" ceremony, behind the scenes; trying to play her part.) That was a special moment.

 

 

 

I've done a bit of traveling...making a mad dash to Michigan to see my BFF, who came (literally) back from the grave. Be still my heart. These moments cause you to pause and magnify the important things in life. Like life. Living. Her beautiful boy "Zeke" is living proof of joy. Hope. And the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

 

(The cuteness...I can hardly handle!)

There are a couple of retreats that I'm beginning to prepare for. The Lord is really rocking our worlds when it comes right down to loving people and keeping the Gospel the "GOOD" news, not our opinions of it. The Lord is so good to us. For real.

I've started at least six posts, but none of them have been "worked" out just right. I'll share more of them soon. I'm learning so much I can hardly keep up these days. Yes, the potty training stuff has me befuzzled. I'm learning there too. Girls are NOT easier than boys. All lies. *smile

My plate has been so full, and I've been so full, that I decided to take almost all of April and part of May to unload. Remove. Take off all things "too much." These things, all these things, cause me "BIG FEELINGS." And then some. They are things that cause me instant stress as soon as I say "Yes." They cause great distress and allow me to watch the cycles of the moon at night. Night after night. When I should have said "No." Nada. No can do. Forget it.

My mercy gets me into trouble, but I'm coming back swinging singing.

This summer is going to be exciting. We've already had a tornado, flooded basement, broken toilet, melted siding, and a few knee scrapes along the way. Never a dull moment and I wouldn't trade it for anything! It has truly been so much fun. I'm terrible at pictures--big surprise. But i'm loving every minute!

It was great "chatting" with you.

Stay faithful friends.

-Erin





Don't Measure it...just Bloom

With water in hand, shaking from head to toe, I sat down exhausted to write.

I have just finished a drenching workout that required me testing my physical strength that isn't quite there yet. Thinking to myself, "I need to develop these muscles again, but how?" My upper body just isn't as strong as it once was, but I completed a one minute plank with mountain climbers to keep my mind distracted.

My kids did plenty of that too. Distracting. At times my frustration level with them caused me to break a sweat worse than the workout. Biting my tongue to avoid expanding my kids' vocabulary on words that are not pure. I sang a song. A praise song. For the love...I hate times of testing. Or tests. Or things that leave me feeling like I've somehow missed it. Or wanting. It's amazing what can happen when we lay down the tape of comparison and draw on the immeasurable goodness of Jesus.

So many times I've faced that question, "I need to...but how?" Filling in the blank with measurable things that often leave me frustrated. Doing other things to keep my mind distracted. But the result? is often the opposite of Joy. Discouraged. Regretting what I have. Looking over at greener pastures.

I was recently selected to be a part of a book launch team for author Jen Hatmaker's new book, "For the Love..." I've spoken those words thousands of times and was elated to find a sister who shared the "love" and soul-deep honesty that we long for. Her book comes out in August of this year, and her message is SO VERY timely. You're gonna love it...and no, I'm not paid to say that. Promise. They resound with what I am learning right now in the season I'm in with Littles.

Today as I was working out, I heard these words through the instructor: "Don't measure it...just be thankful for it."

Freedom. Palpable freedom.

"Don't measure it..." Sounds similar to some other simple, yet power-filled words from Scripture..."My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor. 12:9. Praise You, Lord, that You are not a God who measures, but You are One who is sufficient in every circumstance! Enough. Filling the glass to just the right level.

I'm choosing thankfulness. And Joy. And Yoga Pants. Definitely Yoga Pants. Maybe some coffee too.

If you needed these words today, here's a hug from me. I'll be your biggest cheerleader, but look to Him for your strength. He will not fail you. He is enough for You. Me. And you and me again, each and every time we need Him.

As spring is coming on full force, my Tulips are doing their 'thang breaking ground. The other flowers are doing theirs. Be like the flowers, sweet friend. Don't measure or compare fellow sojourner...just bloom right where YOU are planted. And wear your yoga pants. You have permission. (*Just make sure to cover your hinderlands. That's a must...for all of us.)

The Barn-yard is busy...

Every where I looked today, there was life. It was as if Spring had finally rolled itself out of bed, sat up and gave a good stretch. I loved it.

Cade is wrapping up his fourth grade year. He has done a remarkable job with new concepts and meeting new friends this year. We have watched him grow and move independently, which is a new season for us.

Libbi is two now. We are knee deep in potty training... forgive the faint scent of urine wafting through my house. No, the Scentsy wax hasn't turned. She is using new words and her latest and greatest is..."ummm.....NO." It came as a huge surprise to us as well. =)

Aaron is doing great. He had another mole removed two weeks ago and it was benign. I know I left a cliff hanger for some readers, but Aaron was given the ok to proceed without further surgeries or treatments. All margins came back clear for his initial Melanoma and this one was negative. We are thankful. So.VERY.Thankful.

I'm not ignoring you, I promise. I had planned to catch up over Christmas and then there was New Years. Ha! I was actually notified by Google that for some reason, I had been locked out of my account. Go figure. I had to google my way out of it (pun intended)-literally to get things back on track. Apparently things are back and running and at this point as long as it IS running--I'm not complaining.


The retreats? AMAZING!!! Those who follow me on Facebook saw the fun pictures and beautiful ladies that bless my heart.

This girl needs to hit the hay. I'm realizing that I had so much more energy when we potty trained Cade (8 years ago). I'm also in the process of writing again, this time a 6 week bible study through Habakkuk for my church. We are starting in April. Prayers are much appreciated!

Earlier today as my two friends and I were walking, this huge flock of Canadian Geese flew overhead. I love to hear the "honk, honk" as they soar. It reminds me of the strength that comes and is renewed when we wait on the Lord. I wasn't sure what sort of life lesson could come from the goose that pooped on my friend, but we kept going.

Grace and peace.

Erin