One day at a time....

So many of you know, have heard, have expressed, and have encouraged me through these past few weeks/months of my journey.

It is grim. Tight. Numb. Upsetting. Honestly, it’s exhausting. However the Lord promises HIS strength in our weakness and that’s the only thing we get to “boast” about.

Humbling. Gratefulness. Pure awe. Are also some of the words used to describe this time. He NEVER leaves us without. Over the years, I’ve tried to develop eyes to SEE Him working in, through, and around me.

If we CHOOSE to see the good/joy/peace then we will find it. It’s all about perspective.

My mom is still here being the rockstar she is. Where would we be without the people in our lives???

I’m telling you: your perspective CLEARS up and your insecurities FADE AWAY in light of these circumstances. I’m so mad at myself sometimes for wasting my time in things that don’t matter...but then I forget...and move on. 🤣😬

My days look normal—ish.

There are those three little letters that change the world. My world anyway. Ish...

My “Ish” looks like this: getting up at 3am to change myself, because (hello incontinence). And after that I go back to sleep only to wake up at 6:30 to begin to get the kids up and ready. Mrs V is our morning hero who takes the kiddos to school as she teaches there. Then when they leave I gather some laundry up and wash it. Not because I have to but because I get to. I’m trying to do things for myself for as long as I can because reality is hitting me hard that this will not always be. 😭 I grieve this.

Also, I am writing cards to my family for next year. As several of you’ve mentioned, I’m not expecting to die, but that IS A REALITY. I’m not “using my words” to speak death over anything or even call “into alignment that which the enemy would lay hold.” I too believe in Gods sovereignty and if that is the case—I can’t mess it up. I cannot over essential oil/out drink/out juice/out run/out lie all these natural cures that I have been given. I’m using them all—believe me. It’s a crap-scary thing face—let alone have a LONG LINE OF WELL WISHERS that have all the “cures.”

If I don’t need the cards...I won’t use them. If I don’t needs the videos I won’t use them. But I might be able to have some peace of mind for a time thinking about ways to help my family. I desire to see 40. I’m thirty 9. ( I like it written like that. 🥰)

One day at a time is all that is happening here. Literally.

Tonight friends from the community are hosting a prayer walk for me.  Please pray for their safety, etc. and for us to come together and pray. When we pray God hears. What He will do is up to Him. I am at peace with that...most of the time.