Cloudy with a chance of rain...

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I want to run...like literally/actually run—away from my life.

This morning dawned bright and the weather acted about how I felt. Partly cloudy with the chance of rain. How appropriate. There is a lot of H.E.A.V.Y stuff going on all around me. And quite frankly—life sucks at times. But there IS GOOD IN THIS, yes—even in this.

“There’s a time for everything,” the Bible says.

Just two weeks ago my friend Jana was asking me if I could get her in for a blood pressure check, except I wasn’t working that day. She was admitted two days later with Leukemia.

We lay her to rest on Saturday, as she died yesterday from complications of her fight.

It was so, so sudden. Shocking even. My heart aches for her family—I cannot begin to fathom what her family is going through.

Like I said—Running away...sounds pretty fantastic.

I’m laying here in my bed as Libbi sleeps fitfully in the next room—(she’s always been a flipper in her sleep). Cade sniffles himself to sleep in the next room beside hers. Aaron too. Sigh.
Watching them go through this has been so difficult. I have no words.

And that’s ok.

 The magnitude of “what if’s” has hit my family HARD. The stone cold reality that we all have a date with death and for the Christian, only temporary parting.
Parting here on this earth is scary because this is simply all we know—& for my kids—their kids, it’s terrifying thinking of losing a mother/anyone is terrifying.

I’ve decided to run...and keep running to the feet of the Father. The safest place to hide...Under his sheltering presence. He holds our hearts, tears and yes,  even our fears.

 Remember: fear is just an acronym for “False Evidence Appearing Real.”
Fear is a liar.

Oddly enough, my timeline memories popped up and showed me that it’s been a whole year (today) since I found out my cancer has returned in my lungs. So I’ll need to keep breathing and getting my endurance breaths in and out. And it’s a great reminder to keep doing this life-thing as I have been learning/singing/praising to Resurrection. The only Power that can raise the dead to life...is Jesus. Reminding me to live. Keep breathing...and for goodness sake...quit holding my breath!

I don’t have a neat little package to pull this all together—but just know; the world continues on it’s axis; and no matter what this month, next month, or even next year brings—He is in control.

And for now I’m running to the pace of cloudy with a chance of rain.