Carrying On...

Good sunny summer morning!

We are still carrying on. Sherry is still with us.

This part of mercy is difficult to understand. Merciful deliverance vs. Merciful time given. God's gift to both.
Each day is weaker. More tired. Less interaction.

I find myself holding my breath as I watch her breathe. In....out. In...out. In..............out. In......
Over and over I think, "O Lord, have mercy. She suffers so..."

On my walk this morning, I noticed I was randomly humming..."Open the Eyes Of My Heart Lord". How appropriate. She wants to see Him. We all need to see Him. In the way that He is moving. In the revelation He desires to be seen.

This morning I tried to bring some cheer as I got up and fixed her hair as has been my habit to do so for the past week. She looks great! Her natural curl bounces up and her eyes sparkle just a bit as she sees herself in the mirror. She doubted my  abilities this morning after I was telling her about accidentally shaving off my eyebrow last week before we came. Oh, well. I've not had them before, so I'll survive....But I could understand her angst. =)

You don't think about the words you say until you say them and wish you hadn't. In circumstances like this one, its not very appropriate to say things like...."See ya later" (because some won't). Or, "I just about died....when that happened." You get my point. I have alot of those "duh" moments these days. Careless words....that I pray fall dormant.

Its almost dream-like. Out shopping we picked up a blouse or shirt, knowing she'll love it, only to remember reality. We bought it anyway and put it on her. We women are die hards when it comes to fashion.

Well, there I go again. See what I mean?

When I go out today I guess I'll buy some duct tape.