You Can't Fix Broken...

This past week, we enjoyed a wonderful visit from my sweet friend Sarah. She brought her family down for a quick weekend visit. Fast and furious. We LOVED it!

Prior to their arrival, Cade picked some flowers to display in a watering can. His artistic nature shines through at times, making this mama proud. He is like me in so many ways. Needless to say, he found his flowers-picked off my front planters. Perhaps I should share with him my resources. The stores I use. We could go together. Be on the same page, or something like that!

I let it go. You can't fix broken like that. No matter how ugly those mums look now, its going to take some time. Time to heal. Time to simply be broken a while.

Cade has to see a surgeon today. He has a hernia in a delicate spot. Perhaps if he wouldn't have joined gymnastics. Maybe it was Soccer. T-ball? My mind works constantly trying to figure it out, only to be met by the doctor suggesting that perhaps he was born with it. Okay. I can reason that. What I didn't count on was Cade's reaction to this. Just this simple surgeons visit has him angry. Not just a little, but slap-yo-mama-bad. Yes. You read that correctly. He slapped me. Hard.

My wonderful man-child is growing up. He hates to be called anything "big and strong, or soft and cuddly." Okay. So what is left? Grumpy? Just kidding.

His heart, or so he told me last night, is angry. Furious. Full of questions and a whole lot of little-boy-scared, he crawled into our bed last night and asked us to pray. Pray for peace, for wisdom, for healing, for courage. My heart secretly broke as I had to take a sideline position. This mama can't pull out her superwoman costume and fix a broken like this. I wouldn't try. The Lord is working, and mending a hurt that began three years ago. Cancer makes an enemy of families and friends alike.

Yes, my little boy is growing up. He is learning to wield his sword against the powers of this dark world. To fight the invisible evil ever present in every day.

This mama was proud. Is proud. To hear him repeat the words of hope in his bed as he lay his head down is healing. For him and for me. Yes, you cannot fix broken but God can.

The mums? They'll return in the fall of next year as we anxiously await the changing colors. Yes, they'll be there, perhaps better than ever. The unprovoked pruning was probably just the thing they needed.

Cade will be the stronger for it. Lots of hugs, kisses, bribes, and encouragement will go a long way for his sort of brokenness. The God who lives is drawing Him near. Teaching Him to trust Him. This is simply the first of many that Aaron and I will stand close by and watch as God works as only He can. Cade has put his everlasting hope in the Savior who saves. It is only natural that God begin to develop Cades hope in Him, not in me or my faith or in Aaron or his beliefs.

I'm not going to lie. It hurts. Seeing Cade learn such a big-boy lesson is not easy.

"For God hath not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7)."

We will let Him work. Let Him fix broken as only He can. In the mean time we will use what we have. Whether it is little or much. Broken or whole; to offer Him what He deserves. All of us. Surrendered. Worshiping. On our journey to complete wholeness.