It's a snow day tomorrow. The fire is crackling, Christmas lights are on, the kids are asleep, and there's quiet. Or relative quiet. Aaron has football on-so there's that.
We are doing our best at catching up on all the Christmas movies out there. Hallmark classics, and even some oldies and goodies! As we were watching the Sound of Music tonight, Cade made the exclamation, "they make girls look like they are light as feathers or something. That's a lie! They are heavy as rocks!"
He is getting coal in his stocking.
Every night, as the dark comes early, Aaron will get on his hands and knees and play superheroes with the kids. It is hysterical. Imagine if you will, grown man with a bright orange rope for his super power. One minute he's the Flash, and the next minute he's the man with the magic power of the golden rope. Libbi is queen Elsa with ice magic, and will yell screaming through the house, "don't worry I won't pull your heart out, I just take it out and keep it in my box. Nicely. Right mom?"
Umm, yeah.
I've struggled this year as December 23 approaches. This date comes every year, but for this year my flashbacks are real, and vivid. I also remember how I felt reading about the Christ-child that year. The Emmanuel, God with us. He came near, and is still near. Perhaps it's because of how deeply Advent has impacted me this year that it made me remember.
Earlier this week My mother-in-law had an appointment and had to be at the office by 6:45am. It was a cold morning, and the snow was starting to fly, and the stars were bright and shining. I smiled at Libbi and her Sleepy-eyed and Tussled hair functioning quite well for being disturbed from her slumber. Because of the early hour and no provision for small children, I decided it would be a perfect time to go shopping. Because that's just what you do at 0-dark 30 in the morning.
So there I was...shopping, and killin' time. Libbi was singing loud with powdered donuts in hand when I heard someone say my name. Who in their right mind would be out that early? And what would be the chances that It was my doctor? The kind hearted soul who found my cancer. It had been 5 years since I've seen him. (He changed jobs.) We caught up on his life, his job, my kids, and Aaron.
We parted ways, said nothing about cancer, and I knew without a doubt that the God of Abraham, Jacob, & Isaac was still alive and well. That sorrow lasts for a moment and Joy, to the whole world, has come and will come in the morning. His call is always "where are you?" He longs for our time with Him. Even if we have to be reminded in the middle of Sam's Club that the God who is near is the God who hears. That in His presence our fears have no place. And at the sound of his voice, the darkness flees.
I would love to say that the Star of Bethlehem shone bright and that the angels were singing, and gathered all around to complete the moment, but the flourecent bulbs of Sam's Club and the repeated over-head-page for customer service assistance was all I heard.
But He was there.
And will be there for you- for me-for all of us.
Whatever you're carrying; hiding; seeking; grieving; celebrating; dreading; giving or getting this year, will never EVER STOP His presence. It's as unending as His love for each of us.
At the very end of every fear is "alone." And the greatest gift that ever was came and abolished that forever. We don't have to fear that or say it ever again in that context again, unless it's at this Christmas time when we raise our voices loud and sing that He ALONE is worthy, yes, it is Christ the King.
Come, let us adore Him.
Hugs to you and yours,
~ Erin
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