1000 Gifts....

I love to read.

If I am honest, which I try to always be, I love the sappy happy ending kind of books. You know, the love stories, the feel good inspirationals and historicals, and the real life biography's...if they have a happy ending. Like all good stories, you need a good plot. Something to keep the readers interest.

Every book I read is always a good one, because BEFORE I read it, I like to look at the last chapter and read through the ending. I know, I know....I get that sort of reaction all the time. I can handle it. =)

Do you know my favorite story? My own........

8 years ago today, I married my best friend.

Though I couldn't see the last chapter, I knew then like I know now- it is going to be incredible!

Looking back our lives have included (but not limited by or to -just these few photo's).

There has been an incredible story wrapped up in this.

One of redemption, and one of Joy...

Look at that little cutie! Don't you just want to eat him up???

Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time for everything.

"A time to give birth....Uproot....Plant...heal....weep....build up....laugh....dance...embrace....let go....keep....throw away...silence....speaking....searching...to mourn..." Ecc. 3:1-8

There is a time for everything under the sun.

"Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things...Sow your seed in the morning and do not be idle in the evening, for you do not know whether morning or evening sowing will suceed, or whether both of them alike will be good...Indeed, if a man should live many years, let him rejoice in them all, and let him remember the days of darkness....Ecc. 11:5,6,8

We mourned the stroke that took so much from Aaron's dad, but rejoice that he is still with us and through this we are able to see many examples of leadership, Godliness, and that by serving one another we can truly become free.

We built our dream home....and sold it a couple years later.

We moved...and them moved again. Only to be moved soul deep into greener pastures with the Lord.

We embraced these two...and had to let them go...

Only to be knit back together with their family two short years later....

They have been the worst of times...

And yet, the best of times....

Ecc. 7:13 "Consider the work of God, For who is able to straighten what He has bent?"

"For I have taken all this to my heart and explain it that...(everything we do and all that happens to us) is in the hands of God." Ecc. 9:1

All of our endings with Jesus, are always Happy.

If I could do it all over again, I would.

In many ways, Aaron has been my photographer through these pictures. He has held me up and allowed the Lord to work through me, because he made the decision to trust the Lord when he was 8 years old. And that decision to trust laid the firm foundation to trust Him again in this life, looking through the Lens of the Father.

When I see this picture (which hangs on our living room wall), I have such bittersweet emotions.

This was one month before learning of my cancer. However much I love this, I would never go back because I could have this picture, but never know what deadly disease I could still be sick with.

So, I choose to see the beauty in it. The wisdom of gray hair; the smiles that have "knowing" in them. The covenant relationship that it represents. The crown of glory that the Lord has replanted on my head since this was taken.

Yes, we have experienced much under the Sun.

Like many of you.

We have tasted and seen that the Lord is good.

We had heard of the Lord, but now our eyes have truly SEEN Him.

He has given us His wisdom and His camera lens with which we are learning to focus...and to leave you with one more thought:

"A man's wisdom illumines him and causes his stern face to beam." Ecc. 8:1b

Within these 8 beautiful years lay more than 1000 gifts.

I look forward to counting the 1000's more.

Yes, we are still smiling.

And, in a sense we are acting out this same picture today.

We are taking our seats and buckling up,

because the best is yet to come...

Tune My Heart.....Part 2

The end of this month marks a significant time for me. It was when I finished Chemo. One year in remission.
*sigh* of thankfulness.

Many of you know of our journey with trying to adopt. To save you a long story, to this point of our lives it has been unsuccessful. Cade is our little miracle baby and we are so very thankful.

I have come to appreciate many people in my life that have such a strength in them. Those women who like us all have the echo of eternity in their hearts, yet wait on the Lord as their God given roles as mothers goes unanswed. Empty arms cry desperately to be filled.

I am not an expert, nor have I ever experienced even half of what they have, yet I have had dreams go unfulfilled that I believed were from the Lord. I have often found myself asking, begging, pleading with Jesus to answer my hearts cry, especially in this area.

It is no mystery that I would love to have another. We were once again preparing to adopt a little girl. The nursery was complete, clothes bought, lawyer on hold, but the mother was uncomfortable with my medical history and chose another couple to parent their child. We found out about a week ago.

To say that I was disappointed would be correct, but remember the touch?

The Lord has taught me that nothing in this world can make me less of a woman. No Mastectomy. No Hysterectomy. No certain number of children. No amount of friends. No lack of estrogen and No barrenness of womb....NOTHING can make any of us less than a woman.

Do you know what?

I have NEVER felt more feminine than I do right now, having experienced all of the above.

To say that this lifted head has found a new purpose would be an understatement. We were made for more than just what this world offers. Though our arms are empty, and dreams seem lost: HOPE has come in the form of this.....A little baby, who saved the world. Who looks at us with love and sees our barrenness of soul and responds by honoring us who long for a child, with a child of His own. One that has the power to fill our hearts and save our soul.

My perspective needed to change. I was looking down and He lifted my head. He had to teach me. Sort of like tuning an instrument. It takes time, accuracy and pressure, but what is brought forth is perfect melody in perfect pitch. (I am hoping...)

I had to learn to laugh again like Sarah.
I had to learn to sing again like Hannah.

I know that now Mother's day has past, but as we were encouraged yesterday in church...comfort the motherless, the childless, the mother's in your life. Honor each one as is appropriate. Because where ever they are at in their walk through this life, they are changing the world. They are carrying out their God given destinies. They were made for more than just a day and a title. They were made with eternity in their hearts and are teaching us much about faithfulness, love, trust and hope. May that day serve, from this day on, to remind us to tune our own hearts to sing His praise.

However the sheet music is written.

Tune my heart.....Part 1

Call me crazy, but there is something quite healing in getting your hands dirty and planting new and beautiful things. The same shock they experience the first few days/weeks is quite like my own as I reflect on the past year.

About 4 weeks ago I began planting plants. Almost on the verge of obsession. I dislike starting something and leaving it unfinished. Last year we left the front landscaping bare after we poured time, sweat and money into redoing the whole thing. New cedar logs, black paper, river rock....
One year later I am back at it and with a vengence. I am not your typical planter. Symetry has its place, but in my garden you will find a blend of the unique, the great, the small, but beautiful, each and every one. After much $ and consternation from my man, I am finished with the front and on to the the back. I love the fact that homes have four sides. =)

Much like the shock the plants go through, they (like their gardener) need the tender loving care daily from their master. Water, support, or fertilizer...He knows exactly what is needed to pull them through. Sometimes I am convinced whether plant or person, we sometimes just need the blessed touch of Jesus. The simple lifting up of a head bowed down.

This week was one of the busiest weeks I have had in a while. Though I am healthy and getting stronger every day, I will admit that this last week found me taking lots of naps. Sleeping late when I could and often going back to bed after my dear friend Melissa picked the kiddos up for school. I used to be ashamed of such habits in my life, but I have learned that to be the best mama I can be, is to take the time to listen to my body. "Getting stronger" doesn't mean that I am "There" yet. But I am on my way...and any one knows that when you are strength training, it is often the best not to power through the pain or the tiredness. To avoid injury, one must rest.

During this week I noticed something. I didn't want to deal with the shock factor that had come into my life from being transparent and being transplanted. I needed that tender touch.

-My writing deadline was coming up.
-Cade's birthday was fast approaching.
-T-ball was in full swing.
-And mother's day was here again.

I found myself visiting with a friend, and while driving in her car towards a shopping center, we drove past the Imaging Center for Women where I had been diagnosed. Instantly my mouth opened and tears began to fall unchecked as memories, painful ones that I had never visited, came flowing out.

...I remember walking across that parking lot, the nurse holding my films. I didn't even want to touch them. They were changing my life in a way that I never wanted. I thought to myself "this cannot be happening". I cried against the steering wheel of Aarons truck for 10 minutes. It was the kind of crying that leaves you hoarse and you never made a sound. The prayers unspoken, being interpreted by the Spirit as only He can.
   Calling Aaron and asking him to meet me before his class started.
   Calling and telling my parents that they suspected cancer and tests would soon follow.
   My best friend being out of town, I called her and hearing her grief as she tried to be strong for me telling me she loved me and that things were going to be ok. Hearing the faith she tried to put into her words as she was choking over her own grief for me.
   Feeling so alone, but at the same time feeling safe....

My sweet friend...while driving, just listened. I am sure I had her worried! =)

Everywhere I looked last week I saw new life. Flowers, babies, expectant mothers. And right along with those memories the Lord touched a tender spot in my heart and began transplanting my old thoughts and replacing them with new ones. Remember the tender touch that was needed for this bowed head? He came, and He lifted me.

To be continued....

My Boys....

Guess what we did this weekend?

We were able to spend the weekend visiting with two precious little guys....Ru and Rafe...now Zayne and Micah.

It has been over 2 1/2 years since they lived with us and their changes are amazing. They are growing so fast and we are so blessed to be able to be in their lives to watch them grow and support them throughout their lives. Amazing isn't it? Never thought I would see that day, but they were adopted by two wonderful people who allowed it, and we are so very thankful.

                               

                                              That was then....and this is now....

                                                   Aren't they the cutest little things????

As Promised....

Here are a few pictures of the landscaping/rehab projects I have been doing......

And the dresser I restored.....which is becoming my new FAVORITE hobby....=)

I have also been working of refinishing the cabinets in our old/rental home....

Yes, it is minus an oven.  If you look above where the oven used to be, you can see some awesome tile work done by Aaron's brother Roger. He did an AMAZING job!

Tomorrow I am repainting throughout the house...touch up here and there, and restaining trim, etc. Fun times! =)

Until next time, have a super day!

Mr. "Lawn-mower-guy".....

I have kept it no secret that I love to mow laws.

Getting that off my chest is quite liberating this morning.

This year, our mower bit the dust. We bit our pride and are borrowing our friends (our other neighbors) lawn mower that is a HOSS. It is a huge zero turn Scag Turf Tiger, "the beast" known by most men. I love it. Not a competitor by nature, except against myself, I am happy to report that with "the beast" I am able to shave off several minutes off my normal mowing time. Just sayin'.

Perhaps it is my "OCD" nature.

Or something I can cross off my list. (another favorite past-time)

Regardless of the reason, I believe I have found another kindred spirit in this same "hobby" right next door.....

Let me start off by saying, this guy is the NICEST guy. Helpful. Hardworking. Obsesive Lawn-mowing: on a regular basis. Not talking of his bathroom habits, or his other hobbies since I am not THAT nosey of a neighbor. But EVERY Friday or Saturday, weather permitting, this guy is on the job.

Now you also know that I love my man. If we lived in Biblical times I am POSITIVE he would be an elder among the city gates. I mean, he has the wisdom, some mad skilz, all around great guy, and gray hair to boot! Not trying to throw him into mid-life-crisis here, but just throwing out some bragging love.

He KNOWS how non-competitive I am, due to the competitive nature in himself.  BUT, he also knows that I love people and their quirks, along with my curious streak a mile long. So last week he casually suggests that the neighbor guy is trying to race me to get the lawn mowed. Something he has been observing for some time.

I assured him it wasn't so, b/c this guy mows on Fridays or Saturdays, etc. So I decide to exert my curious self and do a little test project.

I mowed on MONDAY.

I kid you not, I wasn't on the mower 20 mins. when his garage door yawns open and here he comes "decked" out in all his equipment and lawn-mowing splendor.....TO MOW THE YARD. I just couldn't let it rest. It was GAME ON from there. I was determined to figure this out...

And I got a flat tire.

Not just any flat, but a SLICE....need I remind you that this is NOT our mower???? I had to stop half way, limp the thing into the garage, and my awesome man got the tire off and into my car for the tire-fix-it-man.

A curious thing happened.

THE GUY STOPPED MOWING. For real. Half-way done, he drove his own zero-turn into the garage as if to taunt me and/or try to even the score. Like he KNEW what I was doing.

You know I couldn't just let this go.

The tire got fixed.

I myself, put it back on, found my own pair of ear-muff-wear and safety goggles...and fired that baby up. I just HAD to see if this guy was seriously racing me.

UPON MY WORD....He drove by almost 10 mins. later in his car, with his face pressed against the drivers side window, pulls into his driveway............and gets on his lawn mower.

By this time, I am trying to pretend that I am not watching him, and that I am not completely tickled with my discovery.

I am sure he had to have noticed that I donned the extra protective wear, not to poke fun, but to even the score. Since he stopped at half way the day before, and if he really saw this as a race, why not have a little fun with it?

I finished first.

It was GAME OVER.....this week.

But I was more tickled by the watching the whole thing unfold, and confirming what my man suspected.

I salute you Mr. "Trying-to-race-the-neighbor-lady-to-get-her-lawn-mowed-while-wearing-safety-glasses-ear-muffs-and-a-smile-guy".

You're the best.

And you made my day.

Time for a post......

Good morning!

I noticed that it had been a WHILE since I have written so we are overdue for a chat!

This past month has been full of things. To keep it short, here are the highlights....

-Cade started T-ball and he LOVES it. This year we are seeing such a big improvement in his coordination and his desire to play. It is so wonderful to seem them grow! (sad at the same time!)

-I just finished my first "re-finished" project. I may have just found a new hobby. I will post pictures of the dresser just as soon as I find the batteries to my camera. (The downside to having an intelligent little boy who reads fluently is, he understands directions on toys that require batteries and his little mind has stored the hideouts and possible "borrowing" places of where to find them. We are learning to replace or return them, which is a lesson that for some reason he "forgets". ) =)

-I went to a LIVING PROOF LIVE event by Beth Moore, and had a fabulous time with some awesome friends. She is phenomenal. If you EVER get the chance to see her live- GO! You won't be sorry.

-My gardening/Landscaping project is coming along nicely. However, it looks so much easier and cleaner on TV when they work with "clean" and perfect soil rather than Clay/dirt. But I love it just the same and I am enjoying the Vit. D I get to soak up. =)

- I am nearing my one year REMISSION appointment. I believe it is in June, but I get to celebrate in MAY, when I officially ended my Chemo. WOOOHOOO!

- Aaron is doing great. He has tackled our pond and "potty" pond area with his chainsaw and has been clearing out the brush and trees that don't belong there. It is looking fabulous. Again, pictures coming soon.

I cannot believe that school is almost over! Where does the time go? It seems like just yesterday I watched Cade go into school for the first time and now he is already talking about 1st grade. Be still my soul. A mother, it seems, is always changing with the seasons in the life of children. Ambiguous feelings flood around your feet and before you know it those little puddles of regret become a wading pool of memories that you just want to sit in and stay awhile. Mercy...I am full of hormones today...I need a good hot flash to cure that and remind me just to take my med and enjoy the day! =)

Today is Mom's In Touch day...where we go to the church and pray for the children. I love this day. It is teaching me much about prayer and discipline of sitting quiet and quieting my anxious thoughts.

I would love to share with you about everything the Lord has been teaching me lately but that will have to wait for another day.

Love to all.

Erin

PS- Uncle Jay, say hello to mom and dad for me. Enjoy your time! Looking forward to another Coffee/Call! =) Love you Guys!