Playing Catch-Up....

Sooooo....

It wasn't that I didn't think about writing, just couldn't find the time until now.

I wish we could sit and enjoy a cup of coffee or tea together....that way I could hear from you and what all is going on in your world. Play catch-up. Really, I live a pretty boring life that has a bit of the strange and unusual mixed in, but then again, I am not telling you anything "new"- you already knew that didn't you?

Either way, I would love to hear your thoughts about life, love, hope, faith, and other mysteries instead of hearing the gentle hum of the computer for a voice and the bright background of a screen for a face while I sit here and type away sipping on my morning coffee with my peppermint creamer- yum-mo!

Re-testing was this week. They put you through the drills for it. Sorta like a boot camp. Sit, poke, ouch, lay down, drink this, stand still, hold your breath, repeat....you get the picture. Results will come next week for all of the x-rays and scans. I didn't panic this time, just had a couple of flashbacks that brought tears to my eyes, and ran into the Radiologist who told me I had cancer in the first place. Strange, I realized yesterday I don't like people going with me to these things because I just don't like to talk during it. I am not one for just talking to fill in space, but rarely am I not visiting with people to learn more about them. During moments like these, I find that I like the quiet, the peace; all the while adopting the "lets just hurry up and get this over with" mentality. I am probably being a big baby about it, after all what is 4-5 hours every six months in comparison to those that are STILL there, or who are fighting big time stuff? Yep, I am getting over it...not camping here long.

I have been reading through the Bible in a year. The past two mornings (due to appts) I have had to skip my daily reading, and now I am trying to catch up with that today also.

We have had some fun and extremely exciting things happen, that I am not at liberty to share yet, but I will...pinky promise.

With surgery fast approaching, I am hurrying with Spring cleaning, and simple things around the house as I will be down for another week. This is the first of the 2 or 3 surgeries for this year in relation to reconstruction....should be done by the end of this year.......wooohooo!!!!

I am finding that many folks'  life is like ours....everything happens quickly, often, or fast- however you look at it, and the rest of our life is spent just trying to hang on and play catch up, at least it feels like that. I am so glad that the Lord has use for people like us, aren't you?

As I finish playing catch-up with cleaning, chatting, reading and more today, I will be thinking of you and praying for you friends. I wish you a world full of wonderful and that the sun is shining on you today. May you be richly blessed beyond what you can imagine in ways that are beyond comparison. Until next time, I'll be playing catch-up....

Throw back to the 80's....

My husband has always said that I cannot keep a secret in relation to surprises. (ie: gifts, parties, etc.)
So last night with the help of some of our wonderful friends we pulled off a party for Aaron to celebrate his 19th Anniversary of his 21st Birthday. =)

 Surprise!!! Eric took him out to the church to help with removing some fence, etc. while the rest of us were "hard at work".

Jana (center) takes the prize for having the most "authentic" costume.

                                                                      Grant is a close 2nd.

 (L to R) Teresa, Jana, Rachelle, Erin

                                             We couldn't get over Chris' luxurious silken locks...

                                                 We posted a look-out man.......

                                                  Practicing for the surprise moment.......

(L to R) Grant, Aaron, Eric, Chris

Sorry ladies....these fella's are TAKEN!

=)

This morning started much like every other one did.

Up, breakfast, rushing around before school, take the kids, come home and sit for just a minute. Then it is elbow deep into cleaning, etc.

Well, I took just a few moments to read through a friends blog or two, check Facebook, of course, and THEN get started, but enough of confessions...

So, as I was cleaning I began thinking about the blessings the Lord has given us, my family. Me, becoming more like a minimalist every day, I decided to empty drawers, clean out closets, and rearrainge furniture, much to the contentment of my OC little heart! =)

Not one time did I pick something up, or discard something without first thinking about where it came from or who gave it. It was almost 1pm when I finished my non-stop work, but what a difference was made throughout the house. Things that had been moved around now shone with a luster they hadn't had in years *ahem*, but more importantly I realized that with each and every item that I touched, God loves us even more. He knows us much more intimately than just a dusting or rearrainging here and there.Why, the more I thought about it I realized that sometimes we will never know how good things can look from another viewpoint, or unless we are moved out of our "usual" dare I say comfort zone?

Lord, may I never stop and just settle with "good enough or clean enough" from You.

 Oh, that I would long to pray daily and even eagerly embrace Your "rearranging" and "cleaning" of my life.

You know me well enough to know that I don't really like change, but You secretly knew I'd love the view from my new "position" of where you have gently placed me.

I have fought and wept over what has been lost, but I am learning to love the work you have done in me and will do in me, for it allows me a better and more clearer picture...of You.

You humble me yet choose to bless me still.

I love you! 

-Love, your girl

This morning Cade and I are enjoying a quiet morning at home. Before long I intend to head out to the grocery store, and drop a meal by to a couple in the church (if I don't burn it while blogging).

Cade is busy catching up on all the cartoons he was deprived of this weekend, as I was away at a women's retreat and daddy had made plans for him. So far he has portrayed Daniel Boone, Squanto, various super hero's, Captain Underpants and the Shrimp Shack Shooters, and right now we are working on our Zack Brown Band beard. Exciting times. Here is the little guy in action...

I was mid-dish duty while this was going on. I love his energy, though today I have none and I simply love his creativity and this kiddo!!!

My weekend away was both fun and memorable. I had the great priviledge of spending time with one of my favorite best-selling authors: Robin Lee Hatcher! She was a wonderful speaker, full of wisdom and insight. It was incredibly interesting to listen to the story of her life, but also to learn of her career as an Author as well.

She came over for dinner on Saturday evening and was able to meet Aaron and Cade. When I returned home, Cade had pulled all of her books that I had of hers off the shelf, put them in a pile, and told me we needed to send them back to her. When I asked him why I would do that, he informed me that no matter what somebody paid him for his books- he would NEVER sell his books and he figured she felt the same way so we needed to give them back to her. He was curious as to why she also goes by "Arthur" (meaning Author) instead of Robinleehatcher- spoken all at once.

(Robin, he has dedicated a book to YOU, and we now have a song about Robinleehatcherarther. =)  Thought you would like to know!)

We ended our weekend on a high note, studying what worship really is in our small group. What an encouraging discussion! The answer boiled down to this great little song by SCC...

I love those little reminders, don't you? The best part? He knows the first and the last, how this whole thing ends, and WE are the cast of characters in His book. So whether you are an author yourself or a regular Arthur like me, it's all about HIS glory.

Have a super day!

LOVE

Around Valentine's Day, the word LOVE is everywhere you look...decked out in pinks, reds, purple...just about anything goes these days. But the meaning of those four letters stay the same.

Just like my love, in regards to the love for my little boy that is.

Cade has been having headaches for about 7-8 wks. Before you turn me in, please understand I am DESPERATELY trying to overcome fears...of any kind. In that same timeframe he has had double ear infections, Adnoids removed, tubes in, Influenza A and a cold. Sure, your head is going to hurt. Give it time, I thought. Different Dr's and professionals agreed. But then he woke up in tears with a headache, bad enough that he wanted to stay home from school. That NEVER happens, so back to the Dr's we went. Something just wasn't right.

During our appointment as the Dr was suggesting Zyrtec, I noticed his serious expression as he said he would also like to get a CT of his brain done. When I asked about Mon/Tues of next week he said no, I was to go now and wait until they fit me in. I was feeling a cold spiral of fear creep up my back as the all too familiar sights and sounds came rushing in. I casually asked the Dr if he thought there was something to be worried about and he looked at me and said, "Well, I am not going to lie to you...we need to see if he has a brain tumor." This could NOT be happening to me.us.we.Cade.myfamily.again.stop.

Super mom put on her sunglasses to cry "just to be silly", sent out a few frantic texts to ask for prayer, and had some serious one on one with the Almighty. I said right outloud..."Alright, LORD! Your will, Your way...I will still love you."

Walking into the CT room, I felt a panic attack coming on, but my little guy was a champ. Squeezing my hand he looked up at me and said, "mommy don't leave me." I asked for some lead/suit covering and was able to hold his legs during his scan. I've already had some radiation...whats another dose? He had no idea his little comment was my desperate prayer to the Lord. As I looked up, there was a florescent light covering with something on it, and next to it was one filled with butterflies. Unbelievable.

The results? "Severe, severe sinusitis...infection everywhere", "Rest and some strong antibiotics".

My friend said, "Erin, your faith is so strong." *insert a loud snort-laugh*

Let me just clear something up.... I have a seriously weak heart along with a fragile backbone, weak knees and legs that look like "husky branches" a ballerina's...but I believe in a big God who is above all and in all and does as He pleases. He is sovereign, mighty, powerful and holds the number of our days in His capable hands. I don't always like His answers, His ways, or the journey He takes us on, but I am learning that knowing and living in HIS perfect Love, it casts out fear, regardless of the answers and outcome. It isn't that I won't fear again...but His supernatural strength gives those ballerina legs strength to stand thru the trials of this life. He was/is there, because He never left. He never will. He cannot go against who He is.

Great faith? No, not mine. The One I believe in is great.

Breast Cancer was not the answer I wanted to my prayers; It was His.

Being scared out of my mommy-loving-mind was not my idea of a pop-quiz to test/strengthen my faith.

My track record of "great faith" includes but is not limited to: curling up in the fetal position crying my eyes out during chemo; getting mad and throwing fits because I am sick of the drama in my life; deciding whether to puke, punch someone, or pass out with the mention of a CT scan for my little boy. If He can use this weaked knee-ed Jesus girl? I'm in...

Struggles seem to me like a backwards way of strengthening a person because I like the easy way.
It all seems backwards, yet follows the pattern of history all throughout the Bible. Trial and Error. Weak and then Strong. Stubborness, Miracles, forgiveness, And an overwhelming story of a Love so great for broken down people (for you and I!) that He risked far more than a little radiation exposure. He fought the flames of Hell for us...because He LOVE'S us.

The least we can do is love Him back. A million red skittles. To the moon and back. Forever and Always.

"LETITGO"

Bound up in uncertainty, and unsure of my next move, I have found myself on my knees. Again. Wondering if ya'll have been there? Are there? Headed in that direction?

 My current situation was sticky. Heavy. Messy at best.

While talking with a great friend of mine via text, she reminded me to "remember who I was".   Since that conversation I have revisited those words over and over again. "Remember who you are, Erin." I didn't have to like exactly what I was going thru, but was I willing to really let it bother me? Was I really wanting to break down a friendship/aquaintance just to have the last word? What do I do (if anything) from here?

How about you? Have you ever been the recipient of a letter or an email that was intended for someone else, but you ended up recieving it...only to discover it was about you? Or how about a text message? Better still, what if someone thought that they silenced their phone when you were calling them, but really answered it and suddenly you were hearing a conversation about you, carried on with another person that you knew?

 What to do? All three situation are real and have happened. But how's a Jesus Girl supposed to respond?

With lighter moments needed, I was watching one of my favorite TV shows. One of the main characters was discussing his new words that he was creating to "handle life and awkward moments." Goodness knows I have been there! His version of "let it go" came out of his desire to scream, yell or cuss at inappropriate times, thus his need for a new word, because he was trying to break bad habits. "LETITGO!" pronounced: Let-i-go was his word of the day.

I was tracking with him on breaking bad habits, handling life, and awkward moments. I wanted to knock this person/these people's teeth in, but that probably wouldn't have been appropriate for a Jesus Girl. As a worship leader I could have sung "I'll Expose Thee..." (to the tune of "I Exalt Thee") No, there is just something wrong about that picture. Have you ever felt like that? Tell me I am not alone......

Did it hurt? Was that mean? Yes, and yes. But I can ONLY change me; control MY actions/response. I was even thinking that I have probably done the same thing myself!

Remembering who (and Whose) I am, I simply spoke it right out loud "LETITGO"...and it felt great. It made me laugh, actually. I started to see that there is a lot of grace in that word. Given and recieved. I know what I would want someone to do if that were me on the other end.

It will never matter what others do, but I am learning that what I do today, determines my next step: forward or backward? Not all things are easy to just let go of,  but when you can....LETITGO.

Go The Distance

Don't you just LOVE finding something new....about something that you "thought" you knew about?
I sure do! Nothing gives me greater joy.

This past week I started (along with a group of ladies) the "Patriarchs"  bible study by Beth Moore. I find her work refreshing, anointed and simply inspiring!

Smack dab in the middle of our homework, as she is talking of Abraham and NOT Moses- (as I was telling this to the worship team last evening -wouldn't Beth be so proud? Duh moment) she mentions Ur, the land that God called Abraham to leave, along with Haran- where they stopped at his father-in-law Terah's suggestion. Their destination goal was Canaan but they never reached it in Terah's lifetime. Terah died in Haran, but THEN Abraham continued on the Canaan. This story can be found in Genesis 12.

So, what is so awesome about this little passage of history retold? I am going to copy right out of the book/study...so here goes....

"Consider all things "Terah" could represent as you read the following quote by F.B. Meyer..."It becomes us to be very careful as to whom we take with us in our pilgrimage. We may make a fair start from our Ur; but if we take Terah with us, we shall not go far....Let us all beware of that fatal spirit of compromise which tempts us to tarry where beloved ones bid us to stay. 'Do not go to extremes,' they cry; 'we are willing to accompany you on your pilgrimage, if you will only go as far as Haran...'" 

Hear me well....I am not telling you to throw out everything your "loved ones" tell you to do, nor am I suggesting everyone by the name of Terah (or the substitute person's name you think of) is evil and trying to side track you. Rather, I am suggesting that we look at a simple principle that calls to us and encourages us to GO the Distance. Don't let fear, OR people distract you from where the LORD is calling you.

As always, never try to make scripture fit your life/decisions. Take the Lord at His word and in context draw from the wellspring of truth and life. Ask Him HIS will for you life.
A wise and sweet woman once told me to " Make your life align and fit what the scripture is saying, not the other way around to justify our actions."

I loved the encouragement from this week.....Go the distance.
It's like opening presents on Christmas morning. I asked the Lord to show me great and marvelous things from His word this year as I cruised on thru the Bible in a year and He has....every.single.day. Run with me friends....and lets GO the distance.