We have been settling in to our new routine for two whole days now. *smile* Cade LOVES routine, and I have to say most people thrive on it. I am not a strict schedule type person, but routine is good and flexible. Ours goes something like this:
7:00am up and getting dressed
Breakfast soon after
Devotions
Out the door by 7:45.
From there his day is planned by his teacher and so far he is loving it. First days/impressions are always important. They set the tone for everything else. Those, like most things, can never be changed.
This morning I was reading thru the devotional I have for little boys and it was sharing a story of two brothers who's mom and dad had been in a car accident. They were flying to go stay with their grandparents for a while until their parents recovered. Having heavy hearts and thoughts that were as thick as they clouds they were flying thru allowed them to be sorta sad and wonder why God allowed that to happen. The older one told the younger brother to eat his dinner and that would cheer him up. When food didn't work, he looked out the window just in time to see the clouds part and expose an awesome view of the states they were flying over. He was in awe. His older brother leaned over and said, "See, God is looking out for us and everything is going to be OK. That veiw was there the whole time, we just couldn't see it." It ended with a question about our thoughts and did you have a time in your life where you thought everything was going wrong and wondered how or if it would turn around.
When I read that part aloud, my heart just about stopped when Cade shook his head yes. I asked him to tell me about it and this is what he said:
"Mom, when you found out you had cancer I didn't know what was going to happen. I was really scared. I like to think about Jesus always being with me and looking out for me like those boys. That makes me feel happy."
ME: "How did you feel inside, Cade, when all that was happening?"
CADE: "Mom, it felt like my heart was breaking. You know what? My friend Olivia G. has a necklace that has a broken heart on it and she gave the other half to her best friend. That's what we are, right mom? We will always be best friends.
ME: "How do you feel inside now, buddy?"
CADE: "I feel good now. You are getting better and Jesus told my heart you are going to be OK."
Dealing with this stuff daily made me want to ask him what else the Lord told him. What exactly does "OK" mean...b/c we could be thinking two different things? What else did you tell him, Lord?
As you can imagine, hearing your five year old tell you this, it makes a person stop. My heart was so full and I think it was lodged in my throat b/c I couldn't even swallow. I just looked at him and nodded, blinking really fast.
As we got to school, he ran up to these two little boys and asked them to play and they said no, not with him. Then they turned and asked him to run with them only to let him get far ahead and then turned and ran the other way. I wanted to knock those kids' teeth into next summer, but I just watched. Cade turned around once he got to the other side of the gym and looked at me with such a confused and disappointed look. He ran over and I reminded him that we don't act like that and we certainly don't need friends who treat us like that. I assured him that I loved him and he was just exactly who God had him to be. He gave me a big hug and heaved a huge "sigh", and said "I know mommy, it's ok." He hung his little head and walked over to line up and go to class.
I was thinking about it this morning, and of course I had to shed some tears for him. You never want to watch your kids be hurt by other brats kids. And just as I was praying for him that he could remain pure in heart and mind, innocent and trusting, the Lord brought to mind something else that Cade said just before we left the breakfast table: "Mom, Olivia's necklace is just like you and me. Just because our hearts got broken doesn't mean God can't put them together again, does it? Even though we both have a broken heart, if you put them together it makes a whole one."
I have wondered just how all of this was affecting Cade. How much did he understand? Process? It is times like this morning that I am humbled and realize that Jesus is right here watching out for us so much more than we knew.....
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