Waiting.....again.........

I am tired.

SO very tired.

Of Cancer.

Today I had an appointment to rule out some problems I was having. Don't expect "simple med change" if they tell you that. To the point- I ended up having a biopsy, an ultrasound and a blood test. Most of the symptoms I had can belong to 12 different problems that are unrelated or not cancerous.

In short, I have to have a hysterectomy to resolve some of the issues, but in the process, they decided to rule out problems, and are making sure that none of these issues are caused from Ovarian Cancer, thus the need for the blood test and biopsy. (!!!) I about have heart failure at just the thought! The Dr. does not think that is a concern, but like he said, we need to rule it out.

PLEASE pray that these tests are normal. I can go thru the surgery, I just don't want to go in knowing that I HAVE to have it. Does that make sense? I don't want to go thru Chemo again. I don't want to struggle with these things either, but such is life.

To be honest, after I had my crying fit, I was thankful. Yes, thankful because there is no concrete evidence that I won't get other hormone related cancers, like Ovarian Cancer. I always thought I would elect to have this surgery if I could, but up until this point, all my Drs were against it. All thought it would be best to wait. I could never figure out why I would want to wait and worry and wait again. Now, however, I won't have to struggle thinking about what "could be" at least in that department. The pending tests will determine how soon I have to have this. Reconstruction will wait for now. No big deal.

God is good. I know that this has been sifted thru His hands and comes as no surprise to Him. I am simply tired and have a headache. He had brought me to this and will bring me through it. He will not leave me now, we've come too far!  I am just having a bad day. Cancer stinks.

Results should be in, in about a week. And so, we wait......again.