Flu, Fears and Frustrations....

I cannot complain...the last time Cade had the stomach flu was when he was 2. I'd say a 3 1/2 year hiatus is pretty good. But the flu is still completely disgusting....poor little guy. He was non-stop for one whole night and finally stopped about noon on Sunday. Thank the Lord. I kept him home due to a low grade fever he had spring up in the afternoon.

SO....that meant that he tagged along with me on Monday.

My mother in love thought that she had an eye appointment, so we bundled up and went on our way only to find out that it was actually scheduled for today, the 6th. Oops. Since we were out and about we stopped to get groceries; Cade with Nana, and I was by myself. As he sees me about 3 isles over he yells through the store, "MOM!!! Do you think I am dehydrated after all that puking? It's a good thing I don't have the RUNNNSS anymore."

I thought it was coincidence that Nana quickly was suddenly finished and decided Cade should go walk beside his mom.

Surgery is Monday. Have I ever mentioned how much I DISLIKE having to keep doing these things? Talk about frustrating...all the appointments, check-ups, not to mention pain and limitations that rearrange my carefully planned "routine". Oh, well. I am getting over it. Tomorrow.

My blood work came back pretty good. My tumor marker came up two points. I'm a little concerned about that, but I see my Oncologist on Thursday. The nurses seemed unconcerned, saying that it is totally normal for your levels and numbers to bounce around a couple points. I am learning to take my Que from them.

This week as preparations are being made, I have been realizing just how blessed we really are. Thankful for family and friends to care for us; thankful for good insurance; thankful for wonderful doctors. What more could a girl ask for?

I have been saving up my "Instant Que" on Netflix. I become a TV junkie in rehab. My husband surrenders the remote for at least until my pain med kicks in and I am in a peaceful slumber. I don't mind because he has fought his own demons throughout the course of this journey.

I heard someone say an old saying just yesterday, "If it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger." So true, except with Jesus, death becomes perfection- right? No more tears, sorrow? Perfect and whole bodies? Life with Jesus in eternity....that is what is perfect. Now about the stronger part, these things are huge that test our faith. No matter what is in the "blank", we DO become stronger. Just not always better. To be honest, most days I feel like I am doing the best I can. You know, 3 steps forward- 2 back. Or 3. But, there is progress, albeit slow. For that, I am thankful.

I am determined to choose joy today. Admission is the first step to recovery right? Sometimes I just don't feel too joyful and honestly wish that the Lord would "pick on" somebody else. No, that isn't true. He doesn't pick on us, He just loves us. Loves us enought to not leave us where we are at. Remembering that sorrow and pain were not in His original plan allows me to take my eyes off myself and just see Jesus.

Have you ever watched "7 Days In Utopia"? If you haven't, you should. It's on instant watch via NetFlix. If for no other reason than to have a great reminder to "See His face, Feel His Presence, and Trust His Heart."

I love that about the Lord...He shows up in the most unusal ways to show us He is near. To prove His love. When I get right down to it, it amazes me that He goes to such great lengths to show us. 2 Timothy 2:13 says that, "If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself." (NKJ)

Whether it is Eternity, Utopia, Surgery, or _______ that you are struggling over today, may we never forget.

He is faithful.

To you.

To me.

Always.

PS: I needed that "PRAISE JESUS!" moment today.
Have a blessed day!