At Last.....

Tuesday at the window is awesome as usual. NO tardies so far...My little world in this ten foot squared-windowed room is rolling along well.

I have mentioned and mentioned big changes. Well, today I get to share...

As of October 14th Aaron will be the pastor of a Bible Church in our town. Whew! It's out. Off my chest! *sigh*
We have kept quiet about this for a number of reasons, namely because we didn't want it to get out that we were "looking" for something. We were NOT.  This opportunity came out of no where. The Lord sort of dumped the apple cart over- so to speak and after seeking counsel, many prayer filled (sleepless) nights, we realized that two years ago we had laid our yes on the table to serve the Lord. Aaron started seminary, and we stayed open to what the Lord would do. So, how could we say no? Unless of course we knew He was closing the door for us, but He didn't and now we are going and are very excited. Peaceful. Open.

We are sad too.

We LOVE our church. We LOVE our friends there and we LOVE the ministries we are involved in. It is painful in many ways, but obedience is never easy, nor is it easily understood by others. Aaron has been the worship leader for 20 years, myself for 8 at our home church. This is not just some "easy" button decision. Oh I wish it were!!! I will be the worship leader. Hopefully recruiting more than just me to form a team.

We have felt the love and support from many. And we Thank you! Your prayers for continued support would be coveted. We love you guys.

Now you could see why having two foster kids would be overwhelming! I can see it now too! =)

Believe me, during the question and answer time we tried to be as honest and forthright as possible. I did however forget to mention that I like ketchup on my eggs and believe it should be its own food group. I hope they don't mind. I don't think it is a salvation issue unless there are ketchup haters, but that is the Lords to judge. No one should hate. Just saying.

As for the questions about being equipped? Good one! Life has been our greatest teacher. We are relying heavily on the quote we heard one time that "He doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called." 

Our hearts are heavy as this week we will say goodbye to our home church, but at the same time are rejoicing in the blessing of serving still. Being used and hopefully strengthened in Jesus.

Take care for now...I will be writing again soon. Hopefully a little more once my book is done on my end. (End of Oct. is my deadline) Life with the Lord is a wild ride. I am learning to just throw my hands up and enjoy the ride at last....Even if there are some Ketchup haters out there.

Wednesday ponderings....

We are doing well. I am resting. Sore, yet this time was a breeze compared to the last. Almost forget I had surgery- "almost". Tomorrow is my one week check up. Woohoo!

Whew! Seems like so much has happened since our last visit. And there has been much. Too much to fit in this blog so you'll just have to check back in sometime soon! =) At present, we are finishing up our "goat shed" for my girls. LOL! It is a riot and something we enjoy doing! I mainly hand Aaron the tools and keep the "silence level" to a minimum. I know he appreciates it!

Cade is doing well with Soccer and School. Loves them both, but would rather read than kick a soccer ball. Such is life. I have decided I will not push him. He will love what he loves because that is what the Lord made him to do. He is developing quite the sense of humor. A couple of weeks ago he began asking questions about false teeth. (?) I made the mistake of sharing a story about one of my grandmothers when I was growing up and now he thinks it is hysterical to retell. (I am truly sorry G'ma). It is a rather funny story, but to have him tell it, well he takes the cake! He gets that from his father..."ahem".

Speaking of Aaron, he has had so much happening in his life right now. Recently we were asked about taking on two foster kiddos. 3 years old and 6 months. We made the decision today not to do this based on the bulk of what we have going on (more later). It would be too much. There would be mounds of paperwork to bring us out of retirement from the state system, classes to bring everything up to date and there would be a strong possibility of them having to return home. I just don't think this little heart of mine could take that. I was sad, disappointed, but not willing to dishonor my man in this. He is the head and I respect him for it. Its a big job. I would probably have 16 children, no home and a heap of trouble if I would let myself decide things. Just because I have a heart the size of Texas doesn't mean I have to neglect what the Lord tells me to do, and in this case it was to listen. So we continue to listen and learn. I am choosing to be content in that. In today and all we have.

The rains keep coming around here. Making up for the loss during the summer. I LOVE this time of year. Beauty and color everywhere! Almost like a party.

My day today is filled with paying bills, dishes, laundry, writing, reading and study. I know, it's pretty exciting stuff, but I can handle it. ;)

Devotions this morning were on listening. (Go figure!) When Jesus cried out from the cross "It is finished!" the temple curtain that once separated us from Christ was torn in two. Allowing us to bypass a mediator and stand in the presence of The Most High King; you and I speaking to royalty and you know what? He hears. And when He talks to us He asks us to listen. He doesn't command. He asks. Calls. This is a spiritual discipline that I am learning and working through. To listen to His voice.

My blog catch-up day was yesterday, but somehow it was missed in the shuffle of lunch menus and Ibuprofen.

It was good to chat, but my work calls me on. And with my newly typed admission, I must do as I said above... and listen.

Mustard Seed Faith

I sit here this morning at peace.

My coffee still giving off its good morning goodness that I have come to depend on. We're old friends. Decaf or not....I have no enemies where coffee is concerned.

Bills paid, laundry done, house cleaned from top to bottom, dishwasher going, my man off to work and it's 3:39am as I write this. I woke up at 1am unable to go back to sleep. My pre-surgery routine has begun with my powerhouse energy.

Isn't it funny how just yesterday started off so differently?

In short, I slept through my workout alarm, awoke to my workout buddy pounding on my door checking on me...it was a first and hopefully no repeats. However, she took pity on me (or was terrified by my morning "Medusa" looking hair) and told me to go back to bed. I promptly obeyed only to oversleep my back up alarm, waking up Cade and I for school. We had minutes to get ready and I had yet to put out my girls (goats), shower, and wake up my boy. Wow. Did I mention it was my turn to drive carpool?

Whoever thought jeans and heels were a good idea would have had second thoughts after seeing me yesterday. I filled in for the secretary at the school until noon. Stairs, heels, plus me is not a good combo. Suffice it to say that my sore pride ankle allowed some movement and I made it through the cough drops, band aids, Tums, phone calls and tardy slips. Mrs. Simmons...You deserve a medal AND a vacation.

After stopping off and picking up my new Scentsy pot (LOVE) I stopped in to see some sweet friends and their darling little baby. What a blessing to hold such innocence! Her soft little downy cheeks were like seeing the tender side of God in the flesh.

On the ground level of the hospital, I was almost to the door when I decided to stop in and see my nurse/hero friends at the cancer center. I am so glad I did. Those ladies continue to bless me even today...So thankful.

Three different times today I was approached about adoption. Had we? Were we? What are we? I don't know. However, after my day today, I was once again reminded to live in the moment of today. Embracing all that I  have right in front of me. If & when the Lord decides to give me another child to fill my arms, I am honored to care for His. Each and every person I saw today is precious, loved and totally cherished by the Lord. His children....needing that tender loving care, hug, listening ear, shoulder to cry on, arms to lift them up. What a blessing to be called to such a purpose. I am honored and humbled, Lord. Truly.

While mowing in the late evening hours, I had exactly 45 min to pray and think about the day. 45 min to race the neighbor guy mowing his yard. I knew he would want me to win. 45 min of uninterrupted time to feel the cold in the air, smell the gas tinged aroma mixed with the fresh green all around me.

Yes, I am at peace.

Nervous about tomorrow? Yes, but at peace.

This is a milestone for me. A big one. No one told me it would be almost two years later that I would approach the end of what has been a beautifully scandalous journey.

My heart beats stronger.

My faith has been tested and tried. Yielded and growing.

My body is healing.

My soul has found its rest beside the still waters of peace. Beyond my understanding my Shepherd stands close by. Watching and waiting. Loving and protecting. He has plans for this girl. Not sure (exactly) everything He has, but learning to enjoy the little of this and that...that He blesses me with every day.

Lord, may I be found worthy.

Thank you in advance for your thoughts and prayers. Surgery is at 7:30am. My surgeon is Dr. "H". I will be resting a bit. Much less than previous surgeries. My 6th and LAST of the last two years....and hopefully for my life as the Lord moves me forward.

Yes, this girl will be resting and enjoying it, for when she wakes, she will be ready to move mountains. Offering up everything I have with my mustard seed faith....in Jesus.

HELLO!!!!

Yes, I am here.

Writing.

Working.

Cleaning.

Changing.

What a crazy couple of months this has been. I will be able to fill you in on it some more as time goes on, but suffice it to say change is in the air.

I LOVE fall. I love the change that the cooler season brings. I doubt I will see much color this year as the years worth of sap was probably already withdrawn for the time of hibernation, occurring much earlier due to the drought. But fall is upon us...ready or not!

Cade began Soccer so Saturdays are usually filled with games and weeks are flowing over with practice. Let's just say that he play a "supportive" role. He has his moms sense of fun and his dads carefree attitude. You get my meaning.

Aaron and I are doing great. He is busy at FORD, working some overtime. Doing some pulpit supply as a preacher. He is loving it. I had my remission check up and long story short, I am going to see my oncologist in a couple of weeks. Nothing to alarm anybody with, but as you recall he was transitioning to another office. While this took place it was decided that I just see his old partner. Well, they didn't think it was necessary to do any blood test or scans because I "didn't feel sick". I didn't feel sick when I had cancer, either. So I called him and he would like to keep up our old routine of things so I will see him and then he will be able to schedule his normal tests. Will keep you updated on that! Prayers are always and so very much appreciated!!! I love you guys for your care of my family! Goodness! My estrogen is flaring this morning.....

I am busy writing. As many know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. We celebrate recovery, remission, the fighters and the fallen. It is an emotional time. I see the pink and I remember. I notice the hairless women, and I recall just what it was like. I read through my journal as I write and write and write and it all comes back. But, as I write I think of the countless women this could help it keeps me writing. Praying. And Thankful. Your prayers would be most appreciated as I continue this project!

Below are a few shots from our past couple of months weeks.

                            
                                                 From VBS....My good friend Raelene and I.

                                                 My little munchkin going off to his first day of 1st grade!!

                             
                        Cade and Captain Patrick...He is our three little billy goat. He gets the Patrick part from Sponge Bob...and Aaron thought he looked like Captain Morgan. Don't ask how he knows! =)

                                                     

I know you are totally loving my green garden crocs, but look at the cracks in the ground. They were ALL over the yard. Seriously, a person could lose their children if they get much bigger! =)

Love to all!

My Cup Overflows....

My Heart overflows this morning...

I look out on the freshly watered lawn and I breathe. A deep full breath of the clean, rainwashed air. Fresh. New. Alive.

Everything looks greener. Happier. Is it my imagination or do the birds sing just that much sweeter a song-like melody?

Nothing starts a day off right like a bird song. Echoing my own heart as I wake up my family for a new day. Correction....I wake up Cade for the new day. My man has to get me up each morning to face the day. But, if I am up then I am running! =)

The day begins after a weekend of what some are calling "rain". Whatever it is called, I am thankful.

Our goats are doing great. We are working on a shelter for them as well as a pen.

Cade is loving school. How can it seem like only yesterday when I felt his warm little body for the first time and introduced myself as his mama? Hard to imagine what those big blue-green eyes were thinking when they first laid eyes on the world. After breakfast this morning, Cade asked me to dance. So we did. Ballroom. Jazz. Rock and Roll. Hip Hop. Line Dance. We did it all. As he hopped into my friends car to drive off to school, that sweet cherub-like face looked out through the window and waved goodbye. He is off to a world of learning in the first grade. Off to one more day of tasting and seeing that the Lord is good.

It starts with me. Oh how heavy that feels at times, but also so good. I have been learning that it isn't in the trying of things, it is in the doing. The trying often side tracks me because it at times implies the temporary. I desire for what I teach Him in Jesus to be permanent. Lasting.

I love that little boy.

I don't brag enough about my man. He is one of a kind. The one in a million that I am blessed to do life with. He works hard, plays hard and loves life. He supports me when my one ounce of estrogen flares. He loves Cade into submission. He wants to start a support group for men whose wives love Pinterest. He often fills in for Sunday School teachers. Besides leading worship at church, he has been diligently working away at getting a degree in Church Ministry, one class at a time in Seminary. Yes, his plate is full, but rarely complains.

I love that man.

Each and every day I am reminded. I am thankful for life. I love living. I recently saw a picture of me without hair and it literally made me cry. Yes, the one ounce of Estrogen lives. Viva La Estrogen. I embrace this new change of life. It is difficult. Painful at times. But I am learning to roll with it. Not looking back unless it is to move forward. Looking forward makes me discontent in today. So I am leaning to float. To relax in the pools of today. The blessings flood my soul as I look around me.

The Greening grass.

The dew soaked deck.

The singing birds.

The smell of the barnyard.

The taste of happiness in the dance with my little boy and in the warm embrace of my man as he goes off to work.

Yes, this heart overflows.

Psalm 23 has become so precious to me. I have begun to see the life, adventure, guidance, protection, warrior side of God as He draws me near with His staff and fends off the enemy with His rod. Oh how I love my Jesus. He is restoring this soul. Piece by broken piece and mending it for His glory and purpose. At times I don't know what to write....here or in my book.

There is so much, but no words at times.

Mountain Highs and Valleys Low.

"My Cup Overflows...."

For today...that is enough.

Laughter, Tears, and Goats

School has started and is in full force. This year brings some changes for us. Namely Cade is in a combined class of 1st and 2nd Graders. I am excited as he will be learning along other children who are obviously learning in an older grade, but as he is now in the same classroom, he will have the opportunity to not get bored...LOL.

If you think it is impossible for that little man to get bored, think again! Over the past few weeks of summer he has managed to cut up his pillow case thinking that it would be "no big deal" for me to get on Pinterest to re-work it back into a pillow case.

More recently he found a can of blue spray paint that to him appeared "bored" so he spray painted the cat.

Good grief! I need a nap just thinking about it!

This year I am volunteering at the school one morning a week for a couple of hours. (where I am at now) I work at the welcome window taking lunch money, answering phones, taking messages, writing out tardy/absentee slips, etc. Then I fill in the rest of the down time doing projects from home or helping with other things that come up. So far it has been fun. I love doing secretarial stuff!

I cannot believe Cade is in 1st Grade. (Tears) It seems just like yesterday that he was way too small to even think about going to school. Now he promptly gives me a peck on the cheek if "no other kids are around" and skips on his way. Wow! Time is so precious because they grow so fast. He is such a great kid...even if he spray paints animals.

I mentioned earlier that we had goats. We do. We HAVE four now. We have been building a shelter for them for the winter and are getting close to completing that. Next will be the fence. For now, they are chained to a brick, or tree and have done a marvelous job of eating anything and everything in sight. I've told you I love to mow the lawn, it is no wonder why I took to goats so quickly! =)

I meet with my plastic surgeon again today. Should find out when my last surgery is scheduled! (fist pump- can you tell I live with boys?) My Oncologist moved practices, so in the meantime as he relocates I am filling in with a partner of his. Much fear and trepidation there with that, but the Lord will work it out. I will rejoin with him when he is established.

Much has happened since we have last "talked"...exciting things! I am working diligently on my book. I am getting close...but as with any project it is important to do them well. SO, I will take whatever time I need to do that.

No word on the adoption things. Silence is golden only when you want to hear it audibly quiet down around you. I am learning great patience and listening in this area. He is good and knows.

Have to run, but wanted to catch up a bit. We'll talk again soon. Until then, blessings!

Love me some family time.

Nothing like late nights and early mornings, chatting with the fam, swimming in the kiddie pool and swatting pesky flies and mosquitos.

Not sure how the time flies so quickly, but I am THANKFUL for the time that we have had!!!

Adam came in last night. It is so wonderful to see him. Just over a year since last time...

Cade enjoyed VBS at my sisters church while we were here earlier this week, and he and I took a little trip to Ohio to visit with some great friends from college. Megan and Mark have three adorable little boys who welcomed Cade and even declared BFF status. I love the summertime friends and bonds that once formed are inseperable by distance.

Today is full of visiting at a wedding reception and possibly a fireside visit with the siblings. Great memories and shared laughs are just a few of my favorite things.

So glad I have a couple more days.

Alison and I have yet to go car shopping; mom and I have plans for cleaning out the garage; Sarah and I are going to get the kiddos together for a play date, and some other bits and pieces left to tie up.

It has been wonderful for me to be here. Sort of like a fresh breath of air. A much needed respite. Don't know why, but thankful all the same. Everyday I've had time to sit and just think. And even NOT think. Just being still. A discipline I am still mastering.

While driving to OH, Cade noticed the Amish. I admire their simplicity, and diligence with which most of them work. After a while, he speaks up from the back seat..."Hey mom, let's play I SPY AN AMISH GUY". Seriously had to laugh over that one.

I must go for now. Looking forward to posting pictures of the purse Megan and I made while at her house; the pictures of the boys we took while at a park; and those of family while we are here.

See you later for now!