Just before Christmas I had a revelation. A big one.
You know what I mean? The kind that stop you in your tracks and make you ponder it. Pray about it. Put it on the back burner until you can finish thinking the thing through. Do you know what I mean?
The decorations had been up for weeks. Presents were purchased, wrapped and under the tree in record time.
In the early hours one morning as Aaron had just left for work, I sat in my chair doing my devotions.
I had been trying to keep my old resolution of reading through the Bible in a year. Again. And I didn't do so hot.
Again.
Anyone following me?
Regardless, I decided to read The Christmas Story.
People waiting in expectation for something that was different that what they thought.
Jesus. King of Kings........in a manger. A baby is not exactly throne-potential, but nonetheless they worshipped Him. Gave Him everything. Why? Because they believed in Him.
I caught myself being a bit melancholy as the season approached. Until I had realized the reason. It boiled down to this. I was disappointed. I was feeling let down by the swaddled wrapped King. I had felt as if I'd been given a promise of a baby. A girl. Surely it would be by now, right?
But you know what? He hadn't said yes up to this point. I wasn't feeling like a "no" but waiting, hoping, praying, and holding out- Wait. Was that it? The WAITING? Waiting for something I thought He was going to give me? Holding out for it and at the same time holding that part of me out too? Not volunteering b/c I "may" get a baby. Not making the extra room into an office because "what if" was an all too familiar question that had plagued us for 5 long disappointing years.
The disappointment by those who were intent on worshiping the King was short lived by the worshipers. God heard. He knew. He provided.
He did the same for me. He gave me life. My husband. My son. Our church. This heart to adopt? Perhaps he gave us that to love HIS children as He loves us. To love on them as we would our own.
I began to see what He HAD given us. The "yes's" were EVERYWHERE.
I was on to something. The part of my heart I held back, led to me not giving my all in others areas. All because I thought I KNEW what I was looking for. Sorta like putting a baby on a throne to rule. Seems sorta silly now as I look through hindsight. God has given me more than I ever hoped for.
The weight of the 5 years of waiting was gone. Lifted.
I felt joy. The old Erin coming around again. I'd been so focused on waiting for the Royal purple and crowned figure to just pop up out of the crowd, that I was overlooking the King of Kings in the manger. Born that we would have life. Shown to the shepherds who raised sacrificial lambs as THE Lamb of God who would take away the sins of the world. Shown to men who thought themselves wise, that HE would be the only wise KING.
He promised me what? Himself. His presence. Emmanuel.
If we never adopt? All the "what ifs"? All of it is in His hands. But what are we going to do with what He HAS given us?
We will worship. We will serve Him.
Honestly?
I have no disappointment. TRULY. My heart is free. And when I bring my gifts to Him, they are with everything I have.
My new resolution? To stay in the word. Because even though I haven't been able to keep up my end of things, His Word is STILL changing me because He completed His....
PS
I did make a second resolution to redecorate the extra room into an office, but that will have to be part 2.
I was in the middle of repainting that room when.......
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Healing is in Your Hands....
The nights don't seem as restless now. Only the occaisional insomnia remains. The scars are fading as time continues on. The steady cadence of rythym. Tick tock. So much to do and say and want and to fight for in those 60 seconds of beat. One at a time goes quickly past. And yet we remain. Almost all of us.
I struggle to comprehend the Maker at times. Not because of who He is but His ways. So much higher than mine, I am often left to ponder what He is up to. But I'm never alone. He hears. He sees. He knows. He is Emmanuel. The God with us that remains through each ticking of time. Through the steady rythym of life. Far past the twinkling of lights and the tinsel on trees.
Every breath is precious. Every life is sacred...being a part of who HE is. His image.
My thoughts run to the absolute opposites that inhabit our days. I recieve good news. (praise!!!) Yet I read of a sweet friend who is struggling. Grasping at life as evening begins to fade into midnight as her days are almost numbered to the exact completion of the One who breathed them into being. An absolute. Total. Each one counted by name.
I find it difficult at times to grasp fully the questions and concerns that often permeate my day. "Why so down? You have your life in front of you!" "Don't worry about them, that isn't your life- it's theirs." "I can't understand the disappointment you feel at this point....hasn't He given you everything you prayed for?"
As a beautiful friend recently mentioned in her post- "I'm human!" Yes, we think. We feel. We have the same emotions. Different Gifts.
Mine is to write. To teach. To bring into black and white the vivid color pictures of our thoughts. The deepest longings of our hearts. They are real, though unreliable. And so is HE....
This past beginning...the NEW YEAR was a milestone for me. Two years. TWO YEARS. How can it be? Flipping through old photographs reminds me of the places I've been, encourages me on the road I'm on, and propells me forward to the places I'll go. Each one new. Unique. Especially for me. Just as they do for you.
I try not to judge, though I'm "blessed" with things like cussing thoughts. No, not words, but thoughts that if said would be as offensive as a curse word. Bitter, vile, and they don't return. If spoken they go out and hurt. Wound. Destroy. Much like a enemy I read about in His Holy Word.
Treat them as dust. Wipe them away. Whether they be thoughts, words or actions, shake them off your feet. You were made for more.
I leave you today with a thought. A song really. By the great Christy Nockles. "Healing is in Your Hands"
I struggle to comprehend the Maker at times. Not because of who He is but His ways. So much higher than mine, I am often left to ponder what He is up to. But I'm never alone. He hears. He sees. He knows. He is Emmanuel. The God with us that remains through each ticking of time. Through the steady rythym of life. Far past the twinkling of lights and the tinsel on trees.
Every breath is precious. Every life is sacred...being a part of who HE is. His image.
My thoughts run to the absolute opposites that inhabit our days. I recieve good news. (praise!!!) Yet I read of a sweet friend who is struggling. Grasping at life as evening begins to fade into midnight as her days are almost numbered to the exact completion of the One who breathed them into being. An absolute. Total. Each one counted by name.
I find it difficult at times to grasp fully the questions and concerns that often permeate my day. "Why so down? You have your life in front of you!" "Don't worry about them, that isn't your life- it's theirs." "I can't understand the disappointment you feel at this point....hasn't He given you everything you prayed for?"
As a beautiful friend recently mentioned in her post- "I'm human!" Yes, we think. We feel. We have the same emotions. Different Gifts.
Mine is to write. To teach. To bring into black and white the vivid color pictures of our thoughts. The deepest longings of our hearts. They are real, though unreliable. And so is HE....
This past beginning...the NEW YEAR was a milestone for me. Two years. TWO YEARS. How can it be? Flipping through old photographs reminds me of the places I've been, encourages me on the road I'm on, and propells me forward to the places I'll go. Each one new. Unique. Especially for me. Just as they do for you.
I try not to judge, though I'm "blessed" with things like cussing thoughts. No, not words, but thoughts that if said would be as offensive as a curse word. Bitter, vile, and they don't return. If spoken they go out and hurt. Wound. Destroy. Much like a enemy I read about in His Holy Word.
Treat them as dust. Wipe them away. Whether they be thoughts, words or actions, shake them off your feet. You were made for more.
I leave you today with a thought. A song really. By the great Christy Nockles. "Healing is in Your Hands"
"No mountain. No valley. No gain or loss we know.
Could keep us from Your love.
No sickness. No secret. No chain is strong enough.
To keep us from You love.
How high. How wide. No matter where I am.
Healing is in Your hands.
Our present. Our future. Our past is in Your hands.
We're covered by Your blood.
How high. How wide. No matter where I am.
Healing is in Your hands.
How deep. How strong. Now by Your grace I stand.
Healing is in Your hands.
In all things. We know that.
We are more than conquerors.
You keep us by Your love."
Stay kept in His love. Embraced today. It's a place I long to stay. It's a place I am learning to abide. I stumbled here and have been changed. Forever.
Leave the healing to Him.
It's in His hands.
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Good morning!
I sit with my coffee in hand. Inhaling the carmel machiatto aroma that permeates the early morning hours.
As I sit, I'm listening. Pondering the actions of recent days. My own and more often than not- those of others. As the morning dawns I am filled with wonder at the creation of this beautiful and yet scandelous world.
Yes, it was a deliberate action that THE Lord took to bring this into being. Much like the actions of an individual who took things out of being. Sandy Hook. Tears fall as I think about it. Oh how I wish I could be there to comfort those who mourn. I would sit. Hug. Hold. Cry. What more could I do? Nothing. Nada.
What grief they bear. Sadness. A heaviness that reminds us this world is not our home. This beautiful created world that grows darker by the day. Where the silver lining is more and more difficult to see as the very days we live in dim in the light of eternity. Oh, what a day that will be! A day where there will be no more sorrow. The parents hearts will be healed. Whole. All things broken will be made new. His word tells us SOON.
This holiday season has been the hardest one yet. Ambiguous feelings. I have cried, fought, and dealt with my anger over many things. My self-esteem, at an inch tall is at an all time high for the recent years. Not much, but oh the precious miles that have been traveled to get to this point. I am thankful. So much so, that I can hardly breathe at times.
Today is my last visit with my plastic surgeon except for my yearly rechecks. I was released earlier this week from my Radiation Oncologists care. Yes, I am getting better. I am finally getting to say goodbye to several doctors. At least from the monthly basis, now to a managable yearly visit.
As I read Isaiah 52-56, I found some nuggets of truth that lifted my head. I hope they do the same to yours!
Here is my shorthand version:
Oh how this world needs a Savior. He can relate. He IS the silver lining that this world needs. It is not of our own strength. He is the God who knows the "WHY?" The Emmanuel that holds those that mourn. The Prince of Peace that defends and acts as a rear guard. Our Redeemer.
The twinkling lights seem to dance in the early hours of morning. Almost as if they hold a secret. They do. We can know it too. When we fall on our knees and hear the voice of the One who is calling. Come, let us adore Him. Worship Him. The elders and the angels are singing it night and day. Around His throne. Christmas time is almost like a glimpse of what it is like as the world sings.
Nothing shakes Him from His throne. He alone is worthy. Yes, He is coming back. For now, that is all we need to know. It is like a constant waiting for Christmas morning. That gift that no one can guess, but that we will all adore.
Being the last page of a book sort of reader I will tell you this....HE WINS.
May this holiday season restore in you the HOPE of glory. Yes...OUR GOD REIGNS. Even now, He stands ready. Patient. Not wanting anyone to perish. But all to see that indeed this baby wrapped in a manger is the hope-the silver lining- for this world.
As I sit, I'm listening. Pondering the actions of recent days. My own and more often than not- those of others. As the morning dawns I am filled with wonder at the creation of this beautiful and yet scandelous world.
Yes, it was a deliberate action that THE Lord took to bring this into being. Much like the actions of an individual who took things out of being. Sandy Hook. Tears fall as I think about it. Oh how I wish I could be there to comfort those who mourn. I would sit. Hug. Hold. Cry. What more could I do? Nothing. Nada.
What grief they bear. Sadness. A heaviness that reminds us this world is not our home. This beautiful created world that grows darker by the day. Where the silver lining is more and more difficult to see as the very days we live in dim in the light of eternity. Oh, what a day that will be! A day where there will be no more sorrow. The parents hearts will be healed. Whole. All things broken will be made new. His word tells us SOON.
This holiday season has been the hardest one yet. Ambiguous feelings. I have cried, fought, and dealt with my anger over many things. My self-esteem, at an inch tall is at an all time high for the recent years. Not much, but oh the precious miles that have been traveled to get to this point. I am thankful. So much so, that I can hardly breathe at times.
Today is my last visit with my plastic surgeon except for my yearly rechecks. I was released earlier this week from my Radiation Oncologists care. Yes, I am getting better. I am finally getting to say goodbye to several doctors. At least from the monthly basis, now to a managable yearly visit.
As I read Isaiah 52-56, I found some nuggets of truth that lifted my head. I hope they do the same to yours!
Here is my shorthand version:
Wake up! And free yourselves from the chains that hold you captive that are wrapped around your neck! You have beautiful feet who tell the good news of the gospel. Proclaiming peace and good tidings! Yes, OUR GOD REIGNS!
SING. Worship.
Come away from the things that set you back. From any sin that holds you fast. God...He is our rear guard.
He too was disfigured. Beyond human recognition. But it is He who will reach the nations. He was rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. (Oh, how we need such a tender, personal, "knowing" God.)
SING. And Worship!
Those who do not, cannot have children. Sing! Open wide your doors. He has use for you!!! A purpose. The HOLY One Of Israel is your Redeemer.
Oh how this world needs a Savior. He can relate. He IS the silver lining that this world needs. It is not of our own strength. He is the God who knows the "WHY?" The Emmanuel that holds those that mourn. The Prince of Peace that defends and acts as a rear guard. Our Redeemer.
The twinkling lights seem to dance in the early hours of morning. Almost as if they hold a secret. They do. We can know it too. When we fall on our knees and hear the voice of the One who is calling. Come, let us adore Him. Worship Him. The elders and the angels are singing it night and day. Around His throne. Christmas time is almost like a glimpse of what it is like as the world sings.
Nothing shakes Him from His throne. He alone is worthy. Yes, He is coming back. For now, that is all we need to know. It is like a constant waiting for Christmas morning. That gift that no one can guess, but that we will all adore.
Being the last page of a book sort of reader I will tell you this....HE WINS.
May this holiday season restore in you the HOPE of glory. Yes...OUR GOD REIGNS. Even now, He stands ready. Patient. Not wanting anyone to perish. But all to see that indeed this baby wrapped in a manger is the hope-the silver lining- for this world.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Remember, Return, Behold....
We are loving the 60's all this week. Just about perfect weather! Marshmallow and Hotdog roasts over open fires and the smell of the wood smoke in the air just shouts of falls arrival. We have finally embraced the fall-like weather after a dry and long summer of heat.
Fall is another one of my favorite times of year. This year I ordered multiple trees. Hopefully they will arrive prior to our leaving next week for our Thanksgiving plans, but such is life. They will live. I hope. =)
I went with fruit trees. The type that usually do really well around our area. Apple, Pears, Peaches, a grape vine, and a Kiwi. How fun! I think there was a cherry tree as well, but we'll see. My short term memory is on a leash this morning...
I sat last week and last evening with a family in the hospital ICU waiting room. Their loved one is passing. So young. So needless. Letting go is never easy. I grieve for them. With them. My heart aches to watch the light from their eyes dim that much more as a part of them comes face to face with the realities of death. Sin. Suffering. This side of Eden. I was reminded that it was me there also...just two years ago now. Not in quite the same way, but facing the same things. Struggle. Heartache. Disappointment.
As I cried myself to sleep last night I realized that as I fought day after day thru cancer, I had high hopes that at some point when "all this passed" that I could just throw it over my shoulder as if I was done. Hoping that all the bad would go and the good would stay. It didn't and left me disappointed, but even more Thankful this year.
Joining in a study on Marriage last evening at chruch, I was caught off guard each time we read scripture with the words like "remember", "return", "behold". All three doing something of action. Sometimes forced. My daily reading was no different. Over and over, I kept looking for the one thing I thought the scriptures were saying, encouraging, telling them to look at. And then I closed my eyes and I started to remember.
That was it. The word REMEMBER. For me. For them. Perhaps for you. REMEMBER. RETURN. BEHOLD.
As I put up my Christmas tree, I stopped. Cade was at school. Aaron at work. I paused as I took a deep breath and I remembered the exact place I put my tree two years ago. What I wore, what I was listening to, and the smell. Kind of smothered out Cinnamon. Glitter. Dust. Memories. Thoughts. The fragile ornaments. The manger. And it happened again....REMEMBER...sort of like a whisper this time, but clear. RETURN. BEHOLD.
My tree is full of butterflies. Many of you so graciously gave to me and mine a butterfly memory and we have turned our 9ft wonder into a garden of beauty with the winged reminders. Memories returning. Preparing to celebrate His glory as we behold another year of His birthday.
Again this morning I paused. Looking outside over the fields. I smelled our stinky goat Captain Patrick and smiled. Who in the world would have thought? Goats? Me??? Things sure have changed here on Walton's Mountain! (LOL @ R)
Thanksgiving is around the corner. Food, family, visiting, traveling, laughter, music, shopping. Oh the fun to be had! Yes, as early as I have my tree up, I have NOT forgotten Thanksgiving. Regardless if it becomes a forgotten holiday, in our household it will be celebrated as a prelude to Christmas. Perfect for our hearts preparation for worship. Thankfulness seems to always preceed a miracle. Not always what we expect. But heaven reaching our hearts as only He can.
This year my tethered memory is Thankful. Recalling every blessing I wanted to leave you with a few:
My family.
Time.
Healing.
Beauty.
Friends.
And most of all, Emmanuel- God with us. Always. Unchanging. Unshakable.
As I REMEMBER, RETURN and BEHOLD, My heart overflows....
Fall is another one of my favorite times of year. This year I ordered multiple trees. Hopefully they will arrive prior to our leaving next week for our Thanksgiving plans, but such is life. They will live. I hope. =)
I went with fruit trees. The type that usually do really well around our area. Apple, Pears, Peaches, a grape vine, and a Kiwi. How fun! I think there was a cherry tree as well, but we'll see. My short term memory is on a leash this morning...
I sat last week and last evening with a family in the hospital ICU waiting room. Their loved one is passing. So young. So needless. Letting go is never easy. I grieve for them. With them. My heart aches to watch the light from their eyes dim that much more as a part of them comes face to face with the realities of death. Sin. Suffering. This side of Eden. I was reminded that it was me there also...just two years ago now. Not in quite the same way, but facing the same things. Struggle. Heartache. Disappointment.
As I cried myself to sleep last night I realized that as I fought day after day thru cancer, I had high hopes that at some point when "all this passed" that I could just throw it over my shoulder as if I was done. Hoping that all the bad would go and the good would stay. It didn't and left me disappointed, but even more Thankful this year.
Joining in a study on Marriage last evening at chruch, I was caught off guard each time we read scripture with the words like "remember", "return", "behold". All three doing something of action. Sometimes forced. My daily reading was no different. Over and over, I kept looking for the one thing I thought the scriptures were saying, encouraging, telling them to look at. And then I closed my eyes and I started to remember.
That was it. The word REMEMBER. For me. For them. Perhaps for you. REMEMBER. RETURN. BEHOLD.
As I put up my Christmas tree, I stopped. Cade was at school. Aaron at work. I paused as I took a deep breath and I remembered the exact place I put my tree two years ago. What I wore, what I was listening to, and the smell. Kind of smothered out Cinnamon. Glitter. Dust. Memories. Thoughts. The fragile ornaments. The manger. And it happened again....REMEMBER...sort of like a whisper this time, but clear. RETURN. BEHOLD.
My tree is full of butterflies. Many of you so graciously gave to me and mine a butterfly memory and we have turned our 9ft wonder into a garden of beauty with the winged reminders. Memories returning. Preparing to celebrate His glory as we behold another year of His birthday.
Again this morning I paused. Looking outside over the fields. I smelled our stinky goat Captain Patrick and smiled. Who in the world would have thought? Goats? Me??? Things sure have changed here on Walton's Mountain! (LOL @ R)
Thanksgiving is around the corner. Food, family, visiting, traveling, laughter, music, shopping. Oh the fun to be had! Yes, as early as I have my tree up, I have NOT forgotten Thanksgiving. Regardless if it becomes a forgotten holiday, in our household it will be celebrated as a prelude to Christmas. Perfect for our hearts preparation for worship. Thankfulness seems to always preceed a miracle. Not always what we expect. But heaven reaching our hearts as only He can.
This year my tethered memory is Thankful. Recalling every blessing I wanted to leave you with a few:
My family.
Time.
Healing.
Beauty.
Friends.
And most of all, Emmanuel- God with us. Always. Unchanging. Unshakable.
As I REMEMBER, RETURN and BEHOLD, My heart overflows....
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Bits and Pieces...
Halloween is over and all that is left of it is our rotting pumpkin out on our front doorstep and the fake candy bits and pieces that have attached themselves to the bottom of Cade's bucket. (gross) We have attachment issues here...=) When you are six, letting go is hard to do....whether it is the pumpkin you worked so hard on or the last of the candy you walked and walked to get, that stuff is hard to part with.
We have had a wonderful couple of weeks!
We are gearing up to go to MS this Thanksgiving. We are SUPER excited to see our CA relatives and meet these wonderful guys that married my fabulous cousins! PLUS our entire family will be together. Each child of G'ma's along with their kids and spouses and children. Yes, that is ALL of us. YEAH!!!!! Life is so precious. I realized that when we were down there two years ago. We weren't all together, but I will let you in on a little secret...knowing that we had plans to ALL get together for 2012 kept me going through some dark times. Tears come just thinking of it. I love my family with a passion. I hate what Cancer has done to my body, but I LOVE what it has shown me about those I love. Yes, I am thankful this year. Oh so thankful.
Here is what we have been up to:
-Cade has 4 loose teeth. Attachment issues there as well, but we are working through it. Soon he will have no choice! =) He will add some teeth to his Christmas List this year.
-Aaron is doing a FABULOUS job at our church. We miss our old church dearly and love them so much, but are thankful that we have become established here and are starting to see more and more growth.
-I have finished the first leg of my book. It is now with the editors and I await revisions.
-My favorite pair of pants completely ripped out last week while I was trying to see what was out bothering my goat friends late one night. Aaron was in the truck providing security and lights while I checked each one. Out of nowhere this guy (who ended up being our neighbor) pops up out of the bush behind me and asks me if I have seen his horse. My embarrassment was complete when his mom came out in their truck through the field and turned her lights on as well. The said pants were past their prime and had to go. I'll let it pass that he mentioned me and his horse in the same sentence and just stick to the pants...never wear ripped pants anywhere. There is just no modest way out.....
-My restrictions are finally off! WOOOHOOO!!!! Lord willing this will be the last of them. I can finally find a normal and stick to it without another long and drawn out thing looming in my future.
-I completely blew off an appointment with my Radiation Onc. When you have 6 Dr's you see on a fairly regular basis, that is easy to do. They just laughed...but guess what? It has already been ONE YEAR since I have seen him last! *Fist pump*
-I have a job! Yes, a real job. I am no longer at the welcome window at school, but I come in later that day for 3 hours and teach PE. I loved it! Yesterday was my first day and let me tell you, I believe the kids are praying their old teacher returns! I had a total of 8 crying for various reasons and the oldest group were laid out on the floor waiting for dismissal. LOL! Perhaps from their perspective it wasn't so great, but I LOVED the kids. They were hysterical! I recieved an additional workout as well. 3 hours worth. When they ran, I ran. When they sat, I sat. The only thing I didn't help them with was team builders. They were great!
-Aaron's dad is recovering from Pneumonia. He was in the hospital for a week and we have seen him improve a bit since being home. It is difficult to see him like this. He is miserable, and there isn't a thing we can do for him. If you think about it, would you pray for him? He is coming up on his 6th yr anniversary of his stroke. This is always a bittersweet time for our family, but God is good. He has given us much. We look forward to celebrate another year! Praise You Jesus for being our Emmanuel...God with us!
I hope this finds you well. I know that this is just bits and pieces. I will have more to write soon. I have turned in my lesson plans for Nov. My worship team schedule and set lists are completed for Nov, and the schedule is done for the year. *sigh* Being a pastors wife is different, but good. Hard work, but so fulfilling. We are looking into the life of Jonah in our womens bible study. Taking just 6 verses at a time and trusting the Lord to reveal to us life lessons that will allow us to navigate the troubled waters of our life.
He will.
Always.
I promise....even when all we have to give Him,
Is the bits and pieces....
We have had a wonderful couple of weeks!
We are gearing up to go to MS this Thanksgiving. We are SUPER excited to see our CA relatives and meet these wonderful guys that married my fabulous cousins! PLUS our entire family will be together. Each child of G'ma's along with their kids and spouses and children. Yes, that is ALL of us. YEAH!!!!! Life is so precious. I realized that when we were down there two years ago. We weren't all together, but I will let you in on a little secret...knowing that we had plans to ALL get together for 2012 kept me going through some dark times. Tears come just thinking of it. I love my family with a passion. I hate what Cancer has done to my body, but I LOVE what it has shown me about those I love. Yes, I am thankful this year. Oh so thankful.
Here is what we have been up to:
-Cade has 4 loose teeth. Attachment issues there as well, but we are working through it. Soon he will have no choice! =) He will add some teeth to his Christmas List this year.
-Aaron is doing a FABULOUS job at our church. We miss our old church dearly and love them so much, but are thankful that we have become established here and are starting to see more and more growth.
-I have finished the first leg of my book. It is now with the editors and I await revisions.
-My favorite pair of pants completely ripped out last week while I was trying to see what was out bothering my goat friends late one night. Aaron was in the truck providing security and lights while I checked each one. Out of nowhere this guy (who ended up being our neighbor) pops up out of the bush behind me and asks me if I have seen his horse. My embarrassment was complete when his mom came out in their truck through the field and turned her lights on as well. The said pants were past their prime and had to go. I'll let it pass that he mentioned me and his horse in the same sentence and just stick to the pants...never wear ripped pants anywhere. There is just no modest way out.....
-My restrictions are finally off! WOOOHOOO!!!! Lord willing this will be the last of them. I can finally find a normal and stick to it without another long and drawn out thing looming in my future.
-I completely blew off an appointment with my Radiation Onc. When you have 6 Dr's you see on a fairly regular basis, that is easy to do. They just laughed...but guess what? It has already been ONE YEAR since I have seen him last! *Fist pump*
-I have a job! Yes, a real job. I am no longer at the welcome window at school, but I come in later that day for 3 hours and teach PE. I loved it! Yesterday was my first day and let me tell you, I believe the kids are praying their old teacher returns! I had a total of 8 crying for various reasons and the oldest group were laid out on the floor waiting for dismissal. LOL! Perhaps from their perspective it wasn't so great, but I LOVED the kids. They were hysterical! I recieved an additional workout as well. 3 hours worth. When they ran, I ran. When they sat, I sat. The only thing I didn't help them with was team builders. They were great!
-Aaron's dad is recovering from Pneumonia. He was in the hospital for a week and we have seen him improve a bit since being home. It is difficult to see him like this. He is miserable, and there isn't a thing we can do for him. If you think about it, would you pray for him? He is coming up on his 6th yr anniversary of his stroke. This is always a bittersweet time for our family, but God is good. He has given us much. We look forward to celebrate another year! Praise You Jesus for being our Emmanuel...God with us!
I hope this finds you well. I know that this is just bits and pieces. I will have more to write soon. I have turned in my lesson plans for Nov. My worship team schedule and set lists are completed for Nov, and the schedule is done for the year. *sigh* Being a pastors wife is different, but good. Hard work, but so fulfilling. We are looking into the life of Jonah in our womens bible study. Taking just 6 verses at a time and trusting the Lord to reveal to us life lessons that will allow us to navigate the troubled waters of our life.
He will.
Always.
I promise....even when all we have to give Him,
Is the bits and pieces....
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Tuesday Tidings....
The office is buzzing with busy workers...preparing for Grandparents day. Decorations, food, waters, napkins, table clothes, and each detail is getting crossed off the "to do" list.
I had the opportunity to pray with the "Mom's In Prayer" group that just started here at the school. Mrs. Secretary was kind enough to let me go. What a blessing. I had been involved in one last year, but this year I was helping out at the school on Tuesdays and therefore unable to continue since that was the continuing on the same day, different town.
Tomorrow I will be heading for my tests. They were coming up and due a while ago. It is always uncomfortable to start at a new office. Thankfully I have the same physician. As I visited with my Dr. it was a great reminder to me of what God is doing. It is so often too easy to distract myself away from things I dislike, or things I don't want to think about right now. This is one of them. Each time testing comes around I am learning something new. Sometimes I just get plain tired of that, you know? New this, New that....
I would appreciate your prayers as I have an ultrasound on my Right underarm for a "something" that no one knows what it is, but they are not concerned over. I just asked that we do some testing to check it out. Sleep is good people....I don't want to lose mine! =)
Yesterday we bid farewell to our loving church family at LBC. Remember my moaning about New this and New that? Well, there is more of it here too! Loving the free fall of loving the Lord, but uncomfortable with the changes and the unknown. The out of place feelings that invariably come with such change.
God is good and with each changing season both physically and spiritually, we can see that God is everywhere, and still in control of everything. Thank you Lord. The trees? Yes, they are changing. Sort of like the flowers and colors of spring only higher up and able to share all that the Lord has been working in them thru the drought, storms, and now the changes. He is faithful. And He will be with us.
I had the opportunity to pray with the "Mom's In Prayer" group that just started here at the school. Mrs. Secretary was kind enough to let me go. What a blessing. I had been involved in one last year, but this year I was helping out at the school on Tuesdays and therefore unable to continue since that was the continuing on the same day, different town.
Tomorrow I will be heading for my tests. They were coming up and due a while ago. It is always uncomfortable to start at a new office. Thankfully I have the same physician. As I visited with my Dr. it was a great reminder to me of what God is doing. It is so often too easy to distract myself away from things I dislike, or things I don't want to think about right now. This is one of them. Each time testing comes around I am learning something new. Sometimes I just get plain tired of that, you know? New this, New that....
I would appreciate your prayers as I have an ultrasound on my Right underarm for a "something" that no one knows what it is, but they are not concerned over. I just asked that we do some testing to check it out. Sleep is good people....I don't want to lose mine! =)
Yesterday we bid farewell to our loving church family at LBC. Remember my moaning about New this and New that? Well, there is more of it here too! Loving the free fall of loving the Lord, but uncomfortable with the changes and the unknown. The out of place feelings that invariably come with such change.
God is good and with each changing season both physically and spiritually, we can see that God is everywhere, and still in control of everything. Thank you Lord. The trees? Yes, they are changing. Sort of like the flowers and colors of spring only higher up and able to share all that the Lord has been working in them thru the drought, storms, and now the changes. He is faithful. And He will be with us.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
At Last.....
Tuesday at the window is awesome as usual. NO tardies so far...My little world in this ten foot squared-windowed room is rolling along well.
I have mentioned and mentioned big changes. Well, today I get to share...
As of October 14th Aaron will be the pastor of a Bible Church in our town. Whew! It's out. Off my chest! *sigh*
We have kept quiet about this for a number of reasons, namely because we didn't want it to get out that we were "looking" for something. We were NOT. This opportunity came out of no where. The Lord sort of dumped the apple cart over- so to speak and after seeking counsel, many prayer filled (sleepless) nights, we realized that two years ago we had laid our yes on the table to serve the Lord. Aaron started seminary, and we stayed open to what the Lord would do. So, how could we say no? Unless of course we knew He was closing the door for us, but He didn't and now we are going and are very excited. Peaceful. Open.
We are sad too.
We LOVE our church. We LOVE our friends there and we LOVE the ministries we are involved in. It is painful in many ways, but obedience is never easy, nor is it easily understood by others. Aaron has been the worship leader for 20 years, myself for 8 at our home church. This is not just some "easy" button decision. Oh I wish it were!!! I will be the worship leader. Hopefully recruiting more than just me to form a team.
We have felt the love and support from many. And we Thank you! Your prayers for continued support would be coveted. We love you guys.
Now you could see why having two foster kids would be overwhelming! I can see it now too! =)
Believe me, during the question and answer time we tried to be as honest and forthright as possible. I did however forget to mention that I like ketchup on my eggs and believe it should be its own food group. I hope they don't mind. I don't think it is a salvation issue unless there are ketchup haters, but that is the Lords to judge. No one should hate. Just saying.
As for the questions about being equipped? Good one! Life has been our greatest teacher. We are relying heavily on the quote we heard one time that "He doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called."
Our hearts are heavy as this week we will say goodbye to our home church, but at the same time are rejoicing in the blessing of serving still. Being used and hopefully strengthened in Jesus.
Take care for now...I will be writing again soon. Hopefully a little more once my book is done on my end. (End of Oct. is my deadline) Life with the Lord is a wild ride. I am learning to just throw my hands up and enjoy the ride at last....Even if there are some Ketchup haters out there.
I have mentioned and mentioned big changes. Well, today I get to share...
As of October 14th Aaron will be the pastor of a Bible Church in our town. Whew! It's out. Off my chest! *sigh*
We have kept quiet about this for a number of reasons, namely because we didn't want it to get out that we were "looking" for something. We were NOT. This opportunity came out of no where. The Lord sort of dumped the apple cart over- so to speak and after seeking counsel, many prayer filled (sleepless) nights, we realized that two years ago we had laid our yes on the table to serve the Lord. Aaron started seminary, and we stayed open to what the Lord would do. So, how could we say no? Unless of course we knew He was closing the door for us, but He didn't and now we are going and are very excited. Peaceful. Open.
We are sad too.
We LOVE our church. We LOVE our friends there and we LOVE the ministries we are involved in. It is painful in many ways, but obedience is never easy, nor is it easily understood by others. Aaron has been the worship leader for 20 years, myself for 8 at our home church. This is not just some "easy" button decision. Oh I wish it were!!! I will be the worship leader. Hopefully recruiting more than just me to form a team.
We have felt the love and support from many. And we Thank you! Your prayers for continued support would be coveted. We love you guys.
Now you could see why having two foster kids would be overwhelming! I can see it now too! =)
Believe me, during the question and answer time we tried to be as honest and forthright as possible. I did however forget to mention that I like ketchup on my eggs and believe it should be its own food group. I hope they don't mind. I don't think it is a salvation issue unless there are ketchup haters, but that is the Lords to judge. No one should hate. Just saying.
As for the questions about being equipped? Good one! Life has been our greatest teacher. We are relying heavily on the quote we heard one time that "He doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called."
Our hearts are heavy as this week we will say goodbye to our home church, but at the same time are rejoicing in the blessing of serving still. Being used and hopefully strengthened in Jesus.
Take care for now...I will be writing again soon. Hopefully a little more once my book is done on my end. (End of Oct. is my deadline) Life with the Lord is a wild ride. I am learning to just throw my hands up and enjoy the ride at last....Even if there are some Ketchup haters out there.
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