My Cup Overflows....

My Heart overflows this morning...

I look out on the freshly watered lawn and I breathe. A deep full breath of the clean, rainwashed air. Fresh. New. Alive.

Everything looks greener. Happier. Is it my imagination or do the birds sing just that much sweeter a song-like melody?

Nothing starts a day off right like a bird song. Echoing my own heart as I wake up my family for a new day. Correction....I wake up Cade for the new day. My man has to get me up each morning to face the day. But, if I am up then I am running! =)

The day begins after a weekend of what some are calling "rain". Whatever it is called, I am thankful.

Our goats are doing great. We are working on a shelter for them as well as a pen.

Cade is loving school. How can it seem like only yesterday when I felt his warm little body for the first time and introduced myself as his mama? Hard to imagine what those big blue-green eyes were thinking when they first laid eyes on the world. After breakfast this morning, Cade asked me to dance. So we did. Ballroom. Jazz. Rock and Roll. Hip Hop. Line Dance. We did it all. As he hopped into my friends car to drive off to school, that sweet cherub-like face looked out through the window and waved goodbye. He is off to a world of learning in the first grade. Off to one more day of tasting and seeing that the Lord is good.

It starts with me. Oh how heavy that feels at times, but also so good. I have been learning that it isn't in the trying of things, it is in the doing. The trying often side tracks me because it at times implies the temporary. I desire for what I teach Him in Jesus to be permanent. Lasting.

I love that little boy.

I don't brag enough about my man. He is one of a kind. The one in a million that I am blessed to do life with. He works hard, plays hard and loves life. He supports me when my one ounce of estrogen flares. He loves Cade into submission. He wants to start a support group for men whose wives love Pinterest. He often fills in for Sunday School teachers. Besides leading worship at church, he has been diligently working away at getting a degree in Church Ministry, one class at a time in Seminary. Yes, his plate is full, but rarely complains.

I love that man.

Each and every day I am reminded. I am thankful for life. I love living. I recently saw a picture of me without hair and it literally made me cry. Yes, the one ounce of Estrogen lives. Viva La Estrogen. I embrace this new change of life. It is difficult. Painful at times. But I am learning to roll with it. Not looking back unless it is to move forward. Looking forward makes me discontent in today. So I am leaning to float. To relax in the pools of today. The blessings flood my soul as I look around me.

The Greening grass.

The dew soaked deck.

The singing birds.

The smell of the barnyard.

The taste of happiness in the dance with my little boy and in the warm embrace of my man as he goes off to work.

Yes, this heart overflows.

Psalm 23 has become so precious to me. I have begun to see the life, adventure, guidance, protection, warrior side of God as He draws me near with His staff and fends off the enemy with His rod. Oh how I love my Jesus. He is restoring this soul. Piece by broken piece and mending it for His glory and purpose. At times I don't know what to write....here or in my book.

There is so much, but no words at times.

Mountain Highs and Valleys Low.

"My Cup Overflows...."

For today...that is enough.

Laughter, Tears, and Goats

School has started and is in full force. This year brings some changes for us. Namely Cade is in a combined class of 1st and 2nd Graders. I am excited as he will be learning along other children who are obviously learning in an older grade, but as he is now in the same classroom, he will have the opportunity to not get bored...LOL.

If you think it is impossible for that little man to get bored, think again! Over the past few weeks of summer he has managed to cut up his pillow case thinking that it would be "no big deal" for me to get on Pinterest to re-work it back into a pillow case.

More recently he found a can of blue spray paint that to him appeared "bored" so he spray painted the cat.

Good grief! I need a nap just thinking about it!

This year I am volunteering at the school one morning a week for a couple of hours. (where I am at now) I work at the welcome window taking lunch money, answering phones, taking messages, writing out tardy/absentee slips, etc. Then I fill in the rest of the down time doing projects from home or helping with other things that come up. So far it has been fun. I love doing secretarial stuff!

I cannot believe Cade is in 1st Grade. (Tears) It seems just like yesterday that he was way too small to even think about going to school. Now he promptly gives me a peck on the cheek if "no other kids are around" and skips on his way. Wow! Time is so precious because they grow so fast. He is such a great kid...even if he spray paints animals.

I mentioned earlier that we had goats. We do. We HAVE four now. We have been building a shelter for them for the winter and are getting close to completing that. Next will be the fence. For now, they are chained to a brick, or tree and have done a marvelous job of eating anything and everything in sight. I've told you I love to mow the lawn, it is no wonder why I took to goats so quickly! =)

I meet with my plastic surgeon again today. Should find out when my last surgery is scheduled! (fist pump- can you tell I live with boys?) My Oncologist moved practices, so in the meantime as he relocates I am filling in with a partner of his. Much fear and trepidation there with that, but the Lord will work it out. I will rejoin with him when he is established.

Much has happened since we have last "talked"...exciting things! I am working diligently on my book. I am getting close...but as with any project it is important to do them well. SO, I will take whatever time I need to do that.

No word on the adoption things. Silence is golden only when you want to hear it audibly quiet down around you. I am learning great patience and listening in this area. He is good and knows.

Have to run, but wanted to catch up a bit. We'll talk again soon. Until then, blessings!

Love me some family time.

Nothing like late nights and early mornings, chatting with the fam, swimming in the kiddie pool and swatting pesky flies and mosquitos.

Not sure how the time flies so quickly, but I am THANKFUL for the time that we have had!!!

Adam came in last night. It is so wonderful to see him. Just over a year since last time...

Cade enjoyed VBS at my sisters church while we were here earlier this week, and he and I took a little trip to Ohio to visit with some great friends from college. Megan and Mark have three adorable little boys who welcomed Cade and even declared BFF status. I love the summertime friends and bonds that once formed are inseperable by distance.

Today is full of visiting at a wedding reception and possibly a fireside visit with the siblings. Great memories and shared laughs are just a few of my favorite things.

So glad I have a couple more days.

Alison and I have yet to go car shopping; mom and I have plans for cleaning out the garage; Sarah and I are going to get the kiddos together for a play date, and some other bits and pieces left to tie up.

It has been wonderful for me to be here. Sort of like a fresh breath of air. A much needed respite. Don't know why, but thankful all the same. Everyday I've had time to sit and just think. And even NOT think. Just being still. A discipline I am still mastering.

While driving to OH, Cade noticed the Amish. I admire their simplicity, and diligence with which most of them work. After a while, he speaks up from the back seat..."Hey mom, let's play I SPY AN AMISH GUY". Seriously had to laugh over that one.

I must go for now. Looking forward to posting pictures of the purse Megan and I made while at her house; the pictures of the boys we took while at a park; and those of family while we are here.

See you later for now!

Beautiful Day

It is such a beautiful day in Michigan.

What a blessed relief from the heat of Missouri.

Cade and I came up to get some more visiting and work done at moms. I love being here and seeing the green, the new life regenerated after a season of dormancy....much the way I am feeling at the moment.

Each season has it's blessings if we wait, but there in lies my problem.....the waiting.

In this fast food society it is much easier to have the resources ready and waiting along with our order so that things can go as easy and quickly as possible. Well, at least we think along along those lines! =)

Today we are heading to the movies, swimming in the kiddie pool set up in my parents back yard, listening to the news and happenings, and feeling the cool weather on my skin. Nothing speaks of peace like the five senses being engaged in something new, yet old...it is all in how I look at it.

My mind seems to ramble this morning. Overflowing with thankfulness, burdened with heaviness for friends, thoughtful in prayer, humbled by His grace all wrapped up in my fight against fears that seems to be daily lately.

I appreciate your prayers in this for me. God is good, the victory is won, but the battle is fierce right now.

Prior to leaving, my flowers needed constant attention. It was and IS touch and go with the landscaping I so carefully worked at. Next summer will be telling. I had mentioned in an earlier blog, that I love sitting on my rocking chairs out on my front porch. I also mentioned my love of flowers.

One morning as I was giving TLC to my petaled friends, I noticed that a dog had....well there is no easy way of putting it...expelled some "waste" in one of my planters. Game on. Time to pull out the broom and wait. As you can imagine, this northern turned southern girl sat with my coffee in hand, broom propped against the porch wall, rocking back and forth in wait for my four legged nemesis.

I didn't wait long. The hilarious part was as soon as he saw me... he fled. I mean FLEW away from me. Needing the exercise, I ran after him. He will think twice before entering my yard again. Especiallly to leave a little puppy surprise in my front planter.

Is it a big deal? No. Just a momentary irritation that as I write it out has me laughing at how rediculous this sounds. I hope you find the same enjoyment out of it, and believe me...no animal was harmed or will be harmed.  =)

It has taken me some time to think some things through. Much has been on my heart.
Family. Book. Cade. School. Church. Family. Friends. Fears. Family. You see the pattern. Much of this I cannot write about, at least now, but that is OK.

In taking the time needed to think on these things I have determined that I neede a new attitude. One of thankfulness because I was letting everything around me "get to me". You know what I mean? It is difficult to be negative when adopting an attitude of gratitude. It moves me from thinking about how I would LIKE things to be, to being thankful for the way things ARE. Living in the moment. Fast food, without the hurry.

Like the dormant flowers that need the constant care in the drought, it is the same for my heart needing the daily streams of refreshing for this dry and thirsty soul. My attitude allowes me to face the day or reject it. Both affects those around me, but also my relationship with the Lord. Embracing the now just made me realize....what a beautiful day.

Vacation Pictures!

At last and as promised....Vacation pictures! Looking over these makes me want to take another one,

yet life must go on after vacation! =)

We were just getting started...

Tradition in our family always includes the 4th of July Parade in Schoolcraft.

We were not disappointed.

I was too excited to get any good shots, but here are two that I did get as we waited.

There is just something about the stars and stripes. It warms my heart to see the honor given to the hero's both past and present, and to those that gave the ultimate sacrifice as the young and old, with hats off, begin to clap as they proudly walk by carrying these colors before them.

Is she not just the cutest thing ever???? She was a friend of Alison's and she sat on my lap almost the whole time. What a sweetie!!!! I could seriously take two of these! =)

Little sweetie has an adorable sister too...she came along with us as Cade's buddy when we went to the air zoo.

With the weather topping 100+, we felt a trip to South Haven was just the thing needed. Made us forget that we were in Michigan during this heat and not at home.

It gave us the feel of Mexico...well, almost anyway.

All good things must come to an end....so with our car loaded up, what clean cloths we had left-put on, we took off for home, sweet home!

Before I forget...Aaron wanted these two in here as well...

A wonderful friend of ours gave us some AWESOME seats at the Royals game. We

took the game in just before we left for Michigan. So fun to have a date with my Farmer Boy!

With that being said...stay tuned...and I will tell you about "my" three goats...=)

For real.



Questions and Answers....

Good Evening!

We just returned from a "newcomers" dinner at Church. A time where some of the oldies, meet with the newbies. It was a fun and relaxing evening filled with good laughs, some icebreaker games and of course food...Super Nacho's to be exact! (A personal favorite!)

The Laundry is finished and the week will end with some baking and even some canning. God is GOOD, you know it?

This past month, I have been asked by people I ran into, by letter/card, and even phone calls regarding our plans for adoption. It is something that I have been open talking about, and even wrote a little bit before, but with several questions that were asked, it was clear that perhaps shedding a little more light on the subject would help explain it a bit better.

In short, we feel called to adopt. However, until this point it was always something we felt like we HAD to do. Being a redemptive Lord, we have recently been realizing that it goes beyond just expanding your family. It reaches to the other people involved as well.

In 2006, we made plans to adopt from Korea, only to have plans change as soon as our homestudy was finished due to a crashing economy. In 2007 we signed up and became foster/adoptive parents only to have plans change again, but this time we had the blessing of having 5 children through our home, such sweet memories we have. In early 2010 we signed on with Catholic Charities. Once our homestudy with them was complete we were matched with a little girl the same day that I was diagnosed. BUMMER. (another change of plans) Or was it?

Sprinkled in each of these three transitions, we have had our share of private adoption situations come up and fall through, again for various circumstances....not one the same.

With hind sight being 20/20 I have come to see that it appears that our "yes" needs to be on the table, and our hearts need to be open; we need to be ready in and out of season even in this. The re-telling of this sounds like a broken record, but each time I hear it, I find another secret from the Lord. Something deeper than just what it appears to be.

HE is teaching me patience and sometimes He uses the things that will get our complete and total attention to refocus our complete and total devotion.

Through each disappointment I am learning that He has a plan and whether or not what I want comes to pass, I will choose to still love Him and trust because He is the only constant.

As I began working through this in my life, I talked to and heard from women all over the U.S. who each had a redemptive story. Some that included their own adoption stories and others that had given children up for adoption. Healing was taking place right in the middle of my own "need/want" of a family. Pretty soon I began to see a larger picture than my toilet paper roll view. Their stories encouraged me. Blessed me. Strengthened me. And humbled me.

We still plan to adopt, but more importantly I think the Lord was after our hearts motivation and readjusting our "big picture" view with one of His own. He understands adopting...He does that to each of us. He understands the ups and downs and the decisions people make on a daily basis. He alone could write a book about disappointments. And He has.

Currently we remain on a waiting list with Catholic Charities until we adopt with them or another situation arises; or perhaps the Lord calls us in a different direction. Our story doesn't make sense even to us sometimes, but it doesn't have to. We just have to be faithful. Obedient. It is what makes life interesting. A whole lot of questions, but not a lot of answers.

Life... is a wild ride.

Good evening!
Since we last talked I celebrated my 32nd birthday (woo hooo!) and my one year REMISSION birthday as well. They are 8 days apart. My heart overflows as I re-read that sentence.

Websters Dictionary defines remission as this: "the act or process of remitting." To Remit: "to send back; to give relief from; to cancel; to restore to a former status or condition....." Ahh....such a precious gift.

I spent the past week as a cook/kitchen assitant at Kids Camp. The once a year event where our church association gathers and puts on a week of fun, food, and festivities for kids ranging in age from 3rd grade to 6th. There is a Mini Hoppers camp for those younger than that, offered to the workers who have smaller ones.

Cade had a blast. Aaron did as well. He went as a cabin leader. Tracy, Laurie, Rachelle, and Theresa were my partners. Side by side, hour after hour, we laughed and enjoyed each other tremendously. I have never seen so much food in my life, and have never fried so much hamburger either. I look forward to next year already, but will leave the ordering of potatoes to someone else.... (Ssshhhush-it Linda)

An interesting thing happened.

I was dreading the week because it was blood work and results week on top of camp. I was thinking of only myself and the comfort that I would probably recieve out here among 155 people whether good or bad news, and honestly, I just wanted to hide. From what, I am not sure, but that is the closest thing I can think of to defining the feeling. And here, in the middle of nowhere (literally) is a woman (who I knew b/c her husband was in treatment with me) to remind me of exactly what I didn't want to remember. And yet, despite my selfishness and poor attitude, the Lord used that week, and that experience to encourage "A" and to remind her of what her husband is experiencing. Life. Remission.

We were both celebrating but in two totally different ways.

One in life.

Another in death physically, but life eternally where we have yet to experience.

It left me speechless. Humbled. Thankful. And envious all at the same time.

Since I was into definitions, I checked on the word "Restore".

It means: "To give back; to put or bring back into existence or use..."

-to give back (something that was taken)
-to bring back into existence (new life and new purpose breathed into me)
-use...(yes, each one of us has a plan mapped out, including where we have been and where we are going.)

It is late as I finish this. Many interruptions have occured. As my heartbeat pulses a steady rhythm, my mind overflows with prayer requests. My emotions threaten within to overflow, yet I am determined to hold my ground. I am tired of hearing "bad" news and once again, I am threatened by the attractive thought of "hiding".

If God is into the restoring business (which He is) it is time to begin anew.

Yes, it is time to breath in and give back. To start over. Or perhaps to begin as if it is the very first time.