Changes....

I am up early this morning. It is commical to me because anymore it isn't just "me" that you see. I have my litte armpit pillows that follow me everywhere and I look pregnant with the drainage tubing, etc. Add to that, my mom very graciously went out and bought me several warm, cozy pj's to lounge in except they are rather on the large side. So I'm quite a circus moving throughout the house. =)

My days so far consist of resting and more resting. My drains will hopefully come out sometime this week at my checkup. Having help doing the most basic needs for yourself is truly humbling. I have to especially thank my sister, Alison for helping me throughout the day...and Adam who was my night-time "ninja". (we were working on waking him up when I would call him the first time. It drove him crazy that I had to call him twice.)

I don't have a lot of pain. Sometimes I have nerve pain that comes on all of the sudden and steals your breath away, but to be honest, I am numb from side to side. That much is permanent. Just learning to deal with it.

I have some new restrictions that I didn't expect at first, but really have no choice for at this point! I am high risk for Diabetes Type 2, due to hormone and Insulin reaction? For all you medical ppl, I am sure my explaination is poor! =) Anyhow, I have to begin walking an hour per day. Also, the cancer is estrogen fed, so they will be looking at doing a hysterectomy sometime in the next year. Crazy how "good" that can sound, especially when you are looking at trying to cut off the food supply to this thing! Lord willing, they believe they caught it all, but this is precautionary. Why they are doing this is b/c of my age. I have to be careful when I travel with swelling in my arms. I have to wear these awesome restrictive hose things...and watch that I don't get too hot, or cut myself. W/o my lymphs on the Left side, it makes it difficult to fight infections.

My "exercises" are coming a little easier for me. I don't feel like passing out after each one now. I am just really thirsty and tired. They said for some reason post-mastectomies do this.

I once sang a song called "Heal the Wound" and the lyrics came flooding back to me this morning. I will close with this:

"I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
And I don't take pride in what I bring
But I'll build an altar with
The rubble that you found me in
And every stone will sing
Of what You can redeem...

Heal the wound But leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful you are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar.

Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering."