The Power of Words....

I have had so many wonderful people supporting Aaron and I through this time. I cannot begin to explain to you just how much those words are carrying us right now. Not excluding the Lord in any of this b/c all Glory for this is going to Him! But, sometimes those timely words are like a hug from the inside and let me just say- it goes soul deep.

While I was joking with some friends about writing a book titled: "what not to say" to someone with cancer, I realized there is definitely a need. everyone deals with things differently and not to be overly sensitive or callous, but to draw some much needed attention to something so many people are affected by. I prayed early on that the Lord would protect me from taking offense to anything anyone said b/c I have enough to carry, I don't need  more baggage for the journey. He has remained true to His word in doing this and has allowed me to see the outrageous and laugh about it.

Laughter has always been a part of me. If you ask my friends, I have one of those faces that must read- "Tell me your thoughts and don't hold back." If you read my FB status a couple of  weeks ago, I was buying a necklace that was super cute and the woman/girl behind the counter said, "Oh, what a cute necklace! A little young for you but I am a firm believer that you older ladies need a little something to make you feel young again!" Seriously??? I'm 30. That is NOT old. I plan on living until I'm 80- if she still works there I do the same thing! LOL

I assure you, the following came from complete strangers who had hearts of gold when finding out I had cancer. I needed a laugh this AM and thought of these. (No, I am not in denial. For some reason these just make me laugh. Aaron however was horrified. Thus the need for the book. =))

From a guy: "I don't mean to be nosey but I heard you have cancer. My mom had that and I took care of her. She died, so good luck! "
My internal response: "GOOD LUCK???

From a lady: "Well it is a good thing you have some extra weight to spare. I heard that Chemo really takes it out of you and leaves you looking pretty scrawny."
MIR: Thank you! Now I have a visual of a bald, scrawny person at the end of this journey to look forward to! ( hear my sarcasm coming through) FYI- not a helpful or hopeful response.

From a young lady: "Do you think reconstruction is spiritual?"
MIR: I really hope so b/c Aaron and I were rolling with laughter last Sunday in church when I asked him if "everything" goes with us in the Rapture! I just don't want to look funny for when the Lord comes!

From a guy: "You can borrow my grandmas wigs. She doesn't need them anymore- she died."
MIR: ?????

From a Lady: "Well my best friend went to a wonderful Oncologist. If you like I could get the name for you."
ME: "Oh that is so nice, Thank you. How is your friend doing?"
LADY: "Well, she died last month."
ME: "I am so sorry to hear that."
MIR: "I think I will find another Dr."

I hope you were able to laugh and perhaps see how everyone could take these different ways. Yes, they are are all (unfortunately) true- however, they have taught me invaluable lessons on "what not to say".

People have told me they just don't know what to say so they don't say anything. I would tell you from my experience, just a hug will suffice. I don't have cooties and no cancer is not contagious. Cancer does not define who I am. As a great friend recently said, "Erin, your tent has cancer, not you. You go much deeper than that." He was encouraging me to not lose myself in this walk, but to keep being me. He's right. This is something I am dealing with b/c at the end of the day I am still a mommy, a wife, a friend, sister, daughter. I still feel. Cancer can take a lot from you- but it can never take your peace, joy, personality, or even your need for a good laugh without your permission.

I have my moments and will for some time. What I am learning is, to cry when I feel like crying. I apologize to the people in Hobby Lobby....my moment came when I was buying some envelopes. Then again when I was folding my "clothes."  I just lost it. How different my life will be in just one week from today. I grieve for the loss. The change. The unknown. I take great comfort in the fact the Jesus goes by so many names. I believe it was for such times like these. Jehovah Jirah- Provider. Deliverer. Redeemer. Jehovah Rapha- Lord God who Heals. Emmanuel- God with us. There is so much POWER in Words.