Make a difference.....

Well, I'm back. Took a break for a while.

Honestly, I just get plain tired some times. Tired of everything. Ever been there? No, not down in the dumps, just needing a little room. Room to think, and grow.

This last couple of weeks, found me working on both.

I went for a port flush this past Monday. While I was there, I was able to visit a couple for patients that are still recieving treatment, etc. I also got to see "my girls." The unsung hero's that walk a dark path with you at the treatment centers. While we were visiting, one of the girls asked me about what I have been doing, so I filled her in. In the middle of talking with her, she began to cry. This is not a girl who cries. She is a determined, strong, beautiful woman, who is sensitive, but not given to tears easily. ( obviously...look at her job) I stopped and asked her what she was crying about.

Before I get into that, I want to give you a little bit of where I was at. Next week, (like I have said before) is my one year anniversary. So, during my "room" to think and grow, I had some other thoughts.

What am I going to do from here? How am I different? What if....? Why.....? Has any of this really made any difference at all?

Processing all of these things takes time, at least for me. So that is where I was that day getting my port flushed, when my nurse said, "Erin, you have changed all of our lives in ways we never knew. We need your words. We need your encouragement. Many who are walking this road cannot recieve encouragement from me, not like they could from someone who has been there. Keep writing. Never stop...we need your words. We just love you."

I was shocked, and humbled. Here I was wondering if I even matter. You know how that is? Have you ever asked, "What am I here for?"

I'll be honest.....I haven't seen the big picture, but enough of it to know that it exists. I am telling this not only for myself, as a reminder, but for you. Keep doing what you are doing. Never stop. You NEVER know who, where, or what kind of a difference you are going to make. The impact you will have.

Someone once shared with me that sucess isn't measured in the times that we actually succeed. It is measured by the times we failed, and we learned, and once again.... we kept going.

I needed that reminder today. We all need that reminder today...we are here to make a difference. If it is for even one life- you are successful.

I have often wondered, since I was a little girl, why it takes me so long to learn things. I am thankful that the Lord is patient....in all things. As He guides and moves us towards what He has for us...we start to see the changes.

For me? I wondered why in the world I would have this happen to me, when there really isn't a good reason for it. But, after Monday talking with my girls, I asked the Lord to always help me remember His goodness and what He is doing. Don't let me get sidetracked with the day to day things of life. Help me to keep on making a difference, and seeing that He has a plan, and that is really all that matters.

You want to know what He did? He knows I needed something tangible to see....so He sent me a snowglobe, by way of my good friend. In the middle stands a woman with her arms raised above her head (which by the way has long and luxurious hair....I'm still working on that) and when you shake it, it explodes with color as glitter and butterflies fall all around her.

There is my reminder....to make a difference. The Butterflies were to remind me of the goodness of the Lord in the Land of the Living.....and to always remain standing, with my arms raised in praise and in worship to the One who has made all the difference.